Maria and many other people have been telling me how much I have changed, how different I look. I appreciate the good words, but I don’t see what Maria took today when I look at this photo.
I still see this big and frumpy man. I have lost weight, I understand that, and my belly is in decline, yet I still see the very same person I have always noticed when I look in the mirror.
I have some new and more colorful clothes, and I like them and feel good wearing them. But how much can a person change? The answer is that I don’t know.
I know from my picture taking that people do not see themselves clearly or accurately. Almost everyone feels the photos show them ugly, overweight, or ungainly.
When I see my photo, I see the same frumpy old self I’ve seen for years.
I guess I am one of those people who can’t see myself clearly from the outside.
I really have no image in my head of what I look like.
But I have learned that I do not see myself in a clear light; I have long-standing trouble with body image. I imagine I look better than I think I do but worse than I would like.
I never look at a photo and think, “how great I look.” I’m a lifelong schlump (not all of my life, but the last 40 years.)
And I don’t want to hide as I did for the first ten years of the blog, where I allowed no photographs of me.
When Maria takes a photo, I put it up on the blog now, part of being open and honest. I have no secrets in my life. That feels very good.
I take so many pictures of other people I am in no position to be coy and hideout. It’s like the blog. You get the good Jon and the wrong Jon, but always the real one.
And I am lucky to have a partner who seems to think I am handsome. I don’t believe it, but I appreciate it. Zinnia seems to like me also.
When I met you years ago, I didn’t think you were frumpy. I saw the kind, shy, friendly, curious and talented man I had perceived from your books. I didn’t know your blog then. You’re right about how we see ourselves. I’m always surprised at how much better I look in the mirror than in a photo ! Your spirit shines in your eyes and that’s the true light.
You are standing with confidence-this gives you attraction.
My sister has always been very lacking in confidence about her ohotographs. She is now 87 and still dislikes her picture being taken. She has just sent me a charming one taken by one of her sons. She hates it but sent it warning that she looks “awful, decrepit, frail and bent over” another son of hers, who lives with her said ” well, bin this one. you look awful!”. Well, to me she looks sweet and charming and my husband says the same.
There is something about the camera showing us in 2 dimensions and frozen that never seems quite right to our own inner eye but which is accepted by others. Every now and then I really ponder this…
Yes, I dislike pictures of myself most of the time. My husband photographs me every few months or st and I photograph him, to send to relations and close friends. He doesn’t give a damn what his look like but I am fussy and make him take 2 or 3 for me to ckoose from…
It’s your inner beauty showing, and I mean that seriously, I am not being facetious.
Keep ON!I wasn’t “ trying “ to do anything other than get healthier…and have received many unexpected gifts. The grey left my hair. I regained flexibility and agility I hadn’t had for years ( hop up on a chair to hang something ?), am the weight I was fifty years ago. But the best part was that there came a day when I looked in the mirror, and I looked like myself again. For too many years, a stressed out stranger had looked back at me. Good luck!?
I like everything about this blog. Period.
Thank you..
Me too.
You’re an artist at heart and that shows through!
You are an artist and that shows thru.
Look at what’s behind you, the trees, the fields, the animals. That’s all part of you. Look at the love, humor and happiness shining out through your eyes and smile. Your kindness and intelligence also shine through. You look like a person I would feel safe with. If those aren’t all attractive, I don’t know what is.
I read your complete article and I really like it for all of us Thank you for sharing.