This morning, I had my fourth lesson at the Leica Akademie out of Boston. I made the big decision to switch to manual instead of autofocus; I need to learn more.
Up to now, my lessons have been from Sawyer Flint, who has been excellent, patient, and helpful.
Over the phone, another Leica teacher – Donald Pepple – will be taking over my lessons and teaching me about the camera.
In the Spring, I’ll be going to Boston for a day to take a four-hour Leica seminar with Sawyer and hopefully with Donald, who I have come to trust and connect with.
And I am not an easy student. My Dyslexia makes me see the world upside down.
Donald has already bailed me out of trouble once or twice and at no cost. He is remarkably patient and knowledgeable. I insist he gets paid for his time.
(Above is a poster of Lou Jacob, a Master Clown, and my favorite clown.)
My new Leica teacher, Donald Pepple, is above.
Check out his blog and portfolio: donaldpepple.com.
Today, my one-on-one class was taught by Sawyer and Donald listening in. We mainly dealt with exposure metering, and we talked about my switch to manual, which will require my taking more time with each photo and using different settings and relying more on my intuition.
I think it will be a big step forward. This will force me to use more of the camera and get more familiar with the things it can do.
My writing about the Leica and my work learning Lightroom masking tools have drawn another round of critical comments and arguments from the scolds on social media, mostly from photographers who don’t like the work I’m doing.
It seems to happen whenever I write about something new.
People are once again saying I am unwilling to admit my mistakes (one woman said that a disagreement with her and my response represented a “moral failure” on my part).
She was unhappy with the way I added color to a barn. So were other people, but she was the only one of two who drew me into an argument. I’ve been wondering why.
I have a lot of attitudes when it comes to my creative choices.
It is nobody’s business but mine what color I choose to add to a black and white photo, especially when I’m just beginning to mask. There are no “mistakes” at this point, only some choices that work and some that don’t.
It will be a long time before I am good enough at masking and color choices in this process to come anywhere close to perfection.
The excitement comes from learning without defending personal choices to people who are often cruel and hurtful in their comments.
My photos are free and personal; I owe no one explanations or apologies for them. Civil comments and observations made in goodwill are genuinely and sincerely welcome.
I take morality seriously, it is central to my spiritual aspirations, and when a stranger accuses me of being immoral, there will be trouble. I hope I’m never too “sensitive” not to be bothered by that. It is a rude and vicious thing to say.
(Above, Sawyer, I am grateful to him.)
I’ve heard this criticism before about my refusal to admit mistakes and have thought about it. Sometimes, those accusations are correct. Sometimes not.
I find it an odd discussion because due to my distractable head and my Dyslexia, I make mistakes almost every day and have always acknowledged them and do so without much bother.
One critic of my photos said I was too sensitive to be a true artist.
He bragged that he knew this because his father was a prominent photographer. I hope this is true; I don’t think I know a good artist or writer who isn’t sensitive about their work. I know I am.
I guess there is no end to people telling me how to be and who to be. I am happy to say I will never give in to that.
My teachers – I have three at the moment – Sawyer, Donald (Leica), and Andrew (Lightroom) – go over my mistakes all the time. Each one has told me they are happy to work with me because I am eager and willing to go over my many mistakes and admit them and learn from them.
Why don’t they ever bother or anger me? Well, it’s because they are nice and never mean, cutting, pompous or unkind. They criticize me for helping me, not to hurt me. And I can usually tell the difference.
So why are all these people telling me I can’t admit a mistake?
I’m going to try to figure it out. I know there is some truth to it. I admit mistakes almost daily on my blog, often before others notice or correct me.
I reviewed some of these arguments in recent months.
The only light I can shed is that I react sharply to the tone of the message more than the criticism. I’m a big boy.
I’ve written 26 books and thousands of blog posts. I can handle disagreement and rejection; most of the world has never agreed with me on much of anything.
You just can’t write all those books and be unable to handle mistakes or criticism.
I have a box somewhere with the dozens of rejection letters I received before I published my first book, a novel called Sign Off. It took me six years to sell it.
I have no trouble with people who criticize me civilly and straightforwardly. Almost every conflict I have begins with a comment that I find pompous, “snarky,” or arrogant.
Sometimes, I misread the messages and am wrong about them. Some are just plain offensive.
Of course, the people sending those messages don’t see themselves in that way. They think I can’t handle or embrace their unsolicited wisdom. They often get furious when challenged. Anger is their cause, not art.
The woman who objected to my work didn’t care for coloring an old barn using my new masking tools. Her tone got my back up, and I thought she was being snarky and absolute.
She wrote the following, accusing me of lying about what I had done, and then re-done, and suddenly, there was one of that online he-said, she-said things. Here is her message.
You can make what you want out of it, he-said-she-said is an instant turn off for me; it brings me right back to middle school:
“Jon, you need to own your own words. You said that you had restored the barn to its original color, and then you said that any idiot could see that the barn wasn’t restored to its original color. It’s not, “he said, she said,” it’s simply, “he said.” As always, you refuse to admit the slightest possibility that you made a mistake when it’s obvious to everyone that you made a mistake. This egoism of yours is a real moral failing.”
It was her tone more than her criticism that ticked me off. I wonder why she is reading my blog at all.
Telling me what I need, calling me a liar, accusing me of never admitting mistakes, and of being immoral doesn’t suggest this person with my best interests at heart or trying to help my photography. That’s what I say.
Perhaps if I were a saint, I wouldn’t get upset with a message like that. I’m just not that big of a man.
If I’d wanted to do a real-life photo of a barn, I would have used my color camera, not my Leica. The image was my interpretation of red against a black and white backdrop. For better or worse, it was my call, photo, and masking.
It’s not a mistake, it was pretty intentional, but I didn’t care for the outcome either. And I didn’t feel the need to explain all it to this huffing and puffing stranger. Perhaps she was trying to blow my little red barn down.
What I did was an evident and immoral mistake to her, but not obvious or harmful to me.
To be frank, this issue did not seem weighty to me or worth a single minute. My egotism has saved my life; I don’t consider it a moral flaw but a natural gift.
But questions of morality are a big deal and should be addressed.
I know this is an unpopular position – social media seems to empower people to mind other people’s business – but I never asked for her opinion and wasn’t interested in them.
I don’t quite understand why she thought she had the right to tell me I am immoral because we disagree about just about everything relating to this barn photo.
I’ve been called many things in my life, but being overly sensitive is rarely a word used to describe me.
My mistake, as always, was engaging with her at all, thus enabling her chance to be superior. This is a long hard lesson I am just beginning to learn.
At least four or five other people criticized me for the way I changed the photo; two others were also “snarky” in my book, and I told them so. I had no trouble with the non-snarky ones.
And I agree about the color. I’m learning how to use the slides to get the colors I want. That is taking some time.
That didn’t work out. But I will keep experimenting and am happy to say in advance that there will be many misfires and errors.
This hostility is still new and strange to me.
I worked alone for more than 40 years, where I am most comfortable. The book critics were always lovely to me, although they often had criticisms.
I admit that I can’t imagine going to someone else’s website – a stranger no less – and criticizing their work without being asked. I don’t get that.
That’s as far as I can get with this issue at the moment. Every day, no matter what I write, somebody disagrees with me, 98 percent of the time civilly and respectfully. We rarely have trouble, and I listen to what they say. It’s how I learn.
But the tone, I realize, can trigger me. If they don’t like my work, they can go somewhere else. If I don’t like what they write, I can just delete it rather than argue with people who can’t listen.
More and more, I see that’s the best solution.
I’ve had a good chunk of therapy, which brings me back to my mother and father, who often criticized me cruelly. That’s the good thing about treatment.
It helps me figure things out.
So did my teachers, who mistook Dyslexia for stupidity.
Learning is all about making mistakes, from writing to blogging to taking photos to having a healthy marriage.
Admitting them and learning from them is the pathway to growth and creative accomplishment.
So it’s essential to think about mistakes and acknowledge them; I take the issue seriously, out of selfish and “moral” reasons.
Making mistakes is not about weakness or morality. Making mistakes and owning them is the highway to a meaningful life.
I balance that feeling with this: Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote that to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
That is my greatest goal.
On social media, one can learn from mistakes and talk about them. Along with accepting disagreement (as opposed to insults) comes the task of trying to be yourself in a world where people line up to make you something else.
Balancing all of that is a spiritual and creative challenge in our world.
This is a reason why I bring my mistakes to people who know and get me and respect me, not to strangers on the Internet who believe having a computer entitles them to tell me what is moral and how to live.
Welcome to my world, Donald. I’ve got a long list of mistakes to show you in our first lesson.
Dear Jon,
Suggestion from a longtime fan re oversharing your photography journeyman apprenticeship: Save yourself some grief and put a temporary moratorium on publishing your photo equivalents of rough drafts when they’re clearly early learning experimental efforts not quite ready for prime time.
Larry thanks for your idea, but you are missing the point. I want to share the works in progress as I promised to do, I want people to see the process, not just a pretty result if there is one. There’s not much interesting in that.
I am sorry, but you don’t know me to think I would be driven to stop sharing my work because some people don’t like it or I’m still learning. You get the good and the bad here, I’m not selling anything or pretending to be anything I’m not.
I promised to be open and honest when I started the blog, and believe me, nasty messages will not bring me down. Quite the opposite, they lift me up. I will be working on this for years, and I’m not going to run and hide from anybody. This is the fun part.
I sincerely appreciate your concern, but I’m not here to save my grief or joy or learning. I’m here to share it. If I can’t take it, I shouldn’t be doing it at all. Being creative is about putting your work out there and taking what comes.
Jon, I’m just stunned someone would dare to criticize your work this way. With all the atrocities going on in this world, she picks this on which to expostulate? (I’d better not end the sentence with the word ‘on’ or I may get chastized by her!) 🙂 I really don’t understand from whence she’s coming…Oops, there I go again…redundant. Oh well, takes all kinds I guess.
Happens every day, it’s just life in America, Fran, we all are learning to live with it, hopefully positively, I’m not quite there yet. But thanks for our note.
Jon, all that matters is whether your work makes you happy. If not happy with the outcome, happiness in the learning. Happiness is an internal decision, and you should not let critics tell you that you are wrong. One thing for certain, you are never boring!
I’m smiling Susan, that was neat…It is not always easy to be happy when people are accusing you of things, but I love what I do and will keep doing it, after decades of writing online, I have the skin of a dinosaur..I just think these are important conversations to have because I know too many people who give up their creative lives because they are assaulted so relentlessly by strangers trolling on social media. It is a real problem when it comes to free speech and creative expression. I’m doing fine, and I’d rather be dead than boring, as it happens…:)
P.S. I do want my work to make other people happy also, that is important to me..If they don’t like it, I can certainly survive and I am very happy with what I am learning.
To me the difference between criticism I accept gladly and criticism that, at this point, I just ignore is its focus. I’m a writer, and if you think something in my work is clumsily expressed, or a bad idea, or the dumbest collection of English words ever put to paper, I’ll listen, and I might even learn something. But when the criticism focuses on me, I’m not going to listen. Sometimes criticism is more like this: my work isn’t clumsy, I am! My idea isn’t bad, I’m a lousy person! My writing isn’t dumb, I’m an idiot! Well I didn’t put my whole self out there; I offered my work. Critics can say anything in the world about the work I give them, but they don’t know a thing about me, so that kind of criticism is worthless. After all, I have people in my life who really know me; they point out that I’m an idiot all the time!
Nice post-Pete, you’ve been there. I completely agree, when criticism gets personal, I object. When it focuses on content, I don’t mind. The new reality of the Internet is that there are now billions of critics out there who might have something useful to point out or who are just trolling to find something to criticize. It’s hard to tell the difference. Telling me a color photo was a mistake and should be black and white is useless to me. But she has every right to do it, I just don’t want to spent too much of my life defending myself from people I don’t know and whose good will is never clear.
Hi, Jon–I hope my tone is good enough for you to understand what I’m about to say. I read the exchange between you and that woman, and I think you’ve missed the point. You seem to think it was mostly a criticism of your photography, when it fact very little of it was about that. The woman first wrote and said that your stated attempt to “restore the barn to its original color” didn’t work for her–she thought the barn was too pink. You wrote back (and your own tone was really poor) that of *course* the barn wasn’t being restored to its original color, and why would anyone think that it was? That started the whole thing off. The woman was mad because you essentially accused her of poor reading (you said something like “if you actually read the piece”) in a mocking, condescending tone. Anyone would have been mad at that, because you DID write what she said you did. I don’t understand why you would say you didn’t: it’s an attempt at gaslighting, but you can’t gaslight someone if the evidence to the contrary is right there in front of your nose. That’s why she called you immoral: it wasn’t about the photograph at all, it was about the fact that you wrote something and then denied that you wrote it. If you had just said “thanks–my color mastery isn’t quite up to snuff yet, but I’m working on it,” the whole thing never would have happened. Denying that you said something when you clearly said it is never a winning strategy. A piece of advice: readers are customers, and any reader who comments is the very valuable ENGAGED customer. Being polite to them is just good business.
Your tone is fine, Bill, I appreciate your perspective, I will be honest with you, as you are with me, but the words you are using reflect you, not me. That was not what I felt, not how I think, not how I speak, and so not what I write. I might be wrong, but I can’t be you.
I need to follow what I feel, not what you feel. I do appreciate your civility. I don’t feel the need to apologize for the work I do to strangers. Sorry. And I really don’t see my readers as customers who need to be fondled. I don’t sell the photos or get paid for them. They are free to everyone.
In your very kind way, you are yet another person telling me to be somewhat else, just what Emerson warns about. The great achievement is being myself, for better or worse. Some people can handle that, some people can’t. That is my curse and my strength.
We are all responsible for our words, especially me. That would be awfully patronizing. Your point of view is very welcome. I’m moving on now, enough time and energy have been spent on this poor old building.
Lots of new fish to fry.
Jon…
There’s an old saying that applies for photography, art, and blends of both: “Let the cook be the judge of the meal.”
Living through a pandemic, listening daily to the illegal activities of Trump, watching our planet dying I guess I’m in awe about anyone taking the time to criticize a photo. My Dad was a self-taught artist who worked in a factory. My family got him to take a class at night. Unfortunately, someone must have said something negative to him about his work and he quit going. That was a shame. My sister told me all writers are crazy. I didn’t respond. I kept writing and published about 800 articles while newspapers were still thriving. I learned this skill later in life. And I may be crazy but I’m published as were my photos. Good luck with your lessons.
Nice message, WJ, I think I am pretty crazy, I can’t blame the writing, you have to be a little crazy to be a writer, especially on the Internet. Fortunately, I am. I appreciate your story.
Hi,
There is an Arabic saying, purportedly quoted to Sadat as he dealt with critics of his treaty with Israel. Perhaps it is useful when communicating with overly critical readers of your blog.
“ the village dogs bark, but the caravan moves on”
Let them bark, do your own thing.
Cheers,
Win
I like it, Win, it’s a good mantra…
First no artist should care what ANONYMOUS viewers think. If people i respected like teachers or serious KNOWKEDGEABLE critics comment, i might listen. You are asking for readers’ opinions at least tacitly. Dont listen unless you feel Some truth in the substance of their comment.
Bill Mccormick above is however correct. You lie about what you said before and tend to get petty like a 13 year old girl when clarified. I checked your amazon reviews and you show that same childishness there. You do lie a lot defensively so you become fair game. Evolutionarily we need our group members to be honest among other things. Just take the substance of the criticism, address it honestly but not defensively, then drop it.
M I agree you are far too defensive to learn to get better. “Thin skinned” doesnt mean “sensitive” [hyperperceptive] in the context written; it means “easily offended, quick to take offence, easily hurt, easily upset, touchy, defensive,” always snapping. The thin skinned become easy targets for those who have sadistic tendencies because they know they can set you up and make you react foolishly — for their entertainment. Besides you lie/offend enough to make people feel it’s only fair. Much better than watching tv these days, sad to say.
I think you lack that lightness of irony that makes you, and others, just laugh and go on and not take the bait seriously. Seriously.
Betty, my problem with messages like yours is that they are unnecessarily cruel, hurtful, and hostile. I have had and do have problems with anger and defensiveness, which I acknowledge and have been working on. But when you call me a liar and “agree” that I am too defensive to ever improve, you cross the line into arrogance and even viciousness. You give me lots of reasons to both dislike and dismiss you, and you lose any credibility when you do the exact same things you accuse me of doing. Laugh and just go on? Have you read your own post?
I often get confused, and I am often wrong. I never consciously or knowingly lie.
At Wired magazine, we deleted all comments that had capital letters, a sure sign of people not used to being heard so shout.
You lose the truth in your aggressive and insulting kind of argument. And there is certainly some truth in it. But your pretending to know me and how I think is just pretentious, and hollow. I’m sorry, but Amazon reviews are not the way to get to know somebody. This is your research? I guess you don’t care about being taken seriously.
I don’t understand why obviously smart people communicate in this way, they go to great lengths to be dismissed when they have important things to say.
My teachers, who are far more knowledgeable about me than you are and much more thoughtfully critical, tell me I’m improving constantly, and they wouldn’t waste their time if they didn’t, they don’t need the business. I prefer to listen to them. If I didn’t want to improve, I wouldn’t need teachers.
I am all too human and have had a history of mental illness and anxiety. Anger also. The good thing about being mentally ill is that you get to recover (and improve) every day. I am grateful my therapist is nothing like you. She tells me I’m on the right path and that I have work to do.
I do a lot of things that I would like to do better and have improved in many ways in my life. I have a long ways to go, and I don’t need you to tell me that. How creepy that you read the Amazon book reviews from decades ago. You must have loads of time on your hands.
Is my temperament that important to you that you launch an investigation? Righteousness is not insight, cruelty is not wisdom, wisecracks are not memorable. Just laugh and don’t take the bait, Betty. But try not to patronize and tone down the personal attacks. People may actually listen.
Seriously. I am certain you can improve. Good luck with it.
You know, I wasn’t enamored with the color you made the barn, but it’s your work and your process of learning to use the variety of things you can do with your camera; therefore, your choice. I thought it was interesting and I enjoy seeing your progress and various experiments, whether I “like” them or not. You’re going through the artistic, creative process.
It’s a shame some people can’t see that. They feel obligated to impose their preferences and opinions on you, the artist. They can’t comprehend the process, only what they think about it. Sigh…
I don’t know why people can’t let things be. The yellow barn made me smile. My head would explode if I had to take the Leica class. Good for you.
I used to ride commuter rail who would say about crafting “Only Allah is perfect.” There are cultures that put a spirit line in their fabrics, rugs and quilts so that, purposefully, they aren’t perfect and bad spirits won’t invade them. My grandmother, a former seamstress, would say “As you sew, so shall you rip.”
Do I like all your photos? No. But I don’t feel called to comment on them. I do like a lot of them. I think your correspondent has a rather narrow definition of moral failure.
I enjoy your photographs. Probably because I can see that they are of things that have meaning to you or of persons you care for. If you add color and it isn’t perfect, it is simply taking steps in increasing your skill. Keep on showing them. People who don’t like them can either ignore them or quit getting your blog.
thanks Mary, that’s the thing about art…
I liked all the photos I liked all the colors. I think people should mind their own business and if they don’t like your photos they should keep their mouths shut! Just saying…
Thanks, Susan that’s not going to happen, I just have to learn how to deal with it in a better way. I’m working on it. I am very fortunate to have a therapist, a wife, and good friends who are honest with me, and sympathetic and supportive as I work to be a better human. I would have perished without them.
I give thanks for that every day, and also for people like you who take the good with the bad and see the good parts of me. I thank you.
Geez Louise lady…go color your own photos! Reading this reminds me of the people who get upset when someone doesn’t decorate the Christmas tree “correctly” or doesn’t use the “correct” colors in a coloring book!
Anyhow, Jon, I for one am enjoying seeing your experiments with color…so fun. The manual settings…now the real fun begins! 🙂
Thanks Lisa, it’s making me a little crazy…but I’m talking with Donald tomorrow…
I’m shutting down this conversation. Maria just looked at these and chewed me out for responding to these people instead of just deleting them. She is right of course.
This is a problem I have to beat and I will devote myself to that In the meantime, I’m not posting any more comments. Thanks for putting up with me and this unhealthy behavior. I’m moving on to something more meaningful than the color of an old barn.