Just a few years ago, I realized that life was a series of choices. Every morning, I get to choose what makes life worth living for me. It is not anger, hate, jealousy, or the news, or politicians bowing to lies, or the broken and angry people on social media.

I decided that life is a choice, as is suffering, complaint and grievance. I decided to choose joy and see what happened.

Joy is hard to find in our world. I hear, see and run into people all day who are full of complaints and resentment and self-pity and emptiness.

Why I wondered, is it so hard for people to choose joy, even amid challenges and the reality of life? I decided I would not be one of those who rarely or never choose joy. And I was surprised to learn that it is a choice when all is said and done.

I admit I can’t feel it all the time, and sometimes life is more significant than me. But I can choose it a lot of the time and bring it into my life. After a while, it became a habit.

I learned that five people could see the same thing, be part of the same event, undergo the same experience, and some will feel fortunate in one way or another and seek out the joy somewhere around them. We are all different; we experience the same things in different ways.

I lived much of my life in fear, bitterness, envy, and resentment. I was full of grievance and irritation, and jealousy. I wished I could be so many other people that I never took the time and the trouble to make myself into the kind of person I wanted to be.

I was loveless and joyless.

Some remember what they have, not what they lost. Some are grateful for what they are given, not what has been taken from them.

Some can learn to trust that whatever happens has a purpose, a lesson, can bring meaning and understanding, even gratitude.

I wear a gratitude bar made of platinum around my neck, and when I fail to be grateful for my life, I reach in under my shirt and rub it three times, and say “thank you, thank you, thank you.” And there is always something in my life to be grateful for: Maria, the dogs, the donkeys, my blog, my farm, my photos, my work with the Army Of Good, friends,  Bishop Maginn High School, The Mansion, my gardens, the hills and deer in the fields.

I have so many things to choose from when I want to feel joy in my heart.

I can never get to all of them in one day. But they are never far apart. When I had my Open Heart Surgery in 2014,  there were three other men in my hospital room.

One was grateful that he was alive and thankful he had a chance to heal and live his life; the other two were so depressed and angry they refused to even get up and walk so that they could leave. They were very sorry for themselves.  The two of us who felt differently would walk together out in the hall and count our blessings, it was too gloomy in that room.

We both tried to cheer the other two up. But we couldn’t.

One of the others told me he would never be the same and could not understand why this happened to him. He felt as if his manhood had been taken from him.

I remember thinking how lucky I was that I had my heart attack in a nurse’s office and got to a hospital in time. Soon, I could be home, and walking again, and healing. It could have been so much worse.

So many people have it so much worse. So many people lose the opportunity to ever make a choice again.

And I felt wave after wave of joy when I thought of my life, just waiting for me on the other side of my broken heart.

And of my daughter Emma, who came up from New York to be with me, and Maria, who never left my side. My dogs were overjoyed to see me and stayed close. The donkeys brayed softly and sniffed my wounds tenderly. Maria took wonderful care of me. There was a lot to feel good about.

I felt so much joy to be home. Every morning, I remind myself of that when I wake up next to this beautiful, beautiful, and loving human being. She brings me joy a hundred times a day.

So joy, I saw, was a choice, and it is a choice I still make. Everything has a lesson, a promise; everything has a purpose. Of all the creatures on the earth, only humans have this choice – to choose joy and gratitude.

It’s a fantastic gift; it makes me think there must be a God; after all, I will never again squander it.

I choose joy, every day.