It was a big deal for me to return to my gym today. First off, I dislike gyms or machine exercising; I love walking. I started going to the gym a year and a half ago to build up my heart after a catheter surgery.

I stopped when I hurt my foot and then had to wear a surgical boot for eight months. It’s been more than a year since I was there. I kept up my membership, had successful surgery on my foot, and today woke up feeling like I just had to get back to the gym.

We are in deep winter now up here, it’s subzero and windy most days, and the ground is covered in ice everywhere. My new food program is going well; I’ve lost a lot of weight and eating very differently (and happily), but I know I also need to exercise regularly if I’m going to keep this going and not succumb to my lifelong dislike for structured or mechanical exercise.

If I can do one, I can do the other.

In the Spring, when I can retake my walks, I’ll re-think exercise. Just as I needed a new and better relationship with food, I also needed a new and better relationship with exercise.

After breakfast, I drove back to the gym well masked; only a handful of people were there, primarily young weight lifters to the back. It’s always strange being in a place where I am the oldest person.

But there is also peace and solitude; nobody talks to me or bothers me. I ignored the cable news channels blaring constantly and didn’t even bother to listen to an audiobook. I just wanted to be myself and listen to myself.

I didn’t feel like anything plugged into my ears.

I can’t bear gym clothes; I exercise in my regular sneakers, jeans, and shirts. I’m not working up to heavy sweats, and I like just getting out of the car and into my favorite bike.

After all this time, the staff was excited to see me. “We thought you might be dead,” one young woman told me. She seemed happy to see me. At least she was being honest. She offered to help me work my way back safely and slowly.

It was all good; I worked the bike for 30 minutes without any strain. I did and did feel sore afterward, but I’ll be back there tomorrow, taking it easy, going slowly, working my way back to regular exercise. It does feel good to be active. Those months in the surgical boot were difficult.

I need to make it a habit, just as I make vegetables in large quantities. I never quite grasped how good natural and unprocessed food tastes. It wasn’t that I didn’t eat healthy foods; I did. But this is different.

I’m responsible for my health and take it seriously, at least until the skies warm, and I can walk again with Zinnia and Maria. That will feel good too.

A friend asked me if I  didn’t regret that I didn’t take these dramatic steps early. I said I don’t; I don’t like back. The past is the past, the present is the present, and the future is unknown.

I am happy today, right now.