I feel like I’ve been overseas in some war this year and am returning to the farm and life. I came face to face with aging, my body, and the opportunities, rather than complaints, I have about health care.

One after another, I have taken these issues on, found people to trust, listened to them,  and so far come out ahead or at least battled to a draw. I’m not riding my new bike much yet, but that’s on the calendar.

The hard part was not the discomfort of the surgery; the hard part was not being able to spend time out in the pasture, help with chores, get to know the animals, spend time with my precious donkeys, or walk Zinnia up in the woods.

Maria is an athlete, but it was a heavy load to carry alone. There just wasn’t too much I could do. That is changing. I am doing dishes, shopping and half of the cooking. I walk almost every day.

One by one, I’ve confronted the obstacles to these things – my heart, my food, my stiffening legs, my toe, my diabetes, my weight, etc. I know a lot more about my body now, and I am taking much better care of it than I ever have. This is paying off in terms of mood, energy, and health.

Until recently, I thought I only had a few years to live, and while I could keel over at any time, I no longer believe that is true. I have lots to look forward to, lots to live for, I feel vital and meaningful. Retirement is not in my vocabulary; I am busier than ever.

Slowly, I am returning to life, to my destiny. This morning, I went to physical therapy, and my legs got stretched and stretched. They are unhappy with me.

I went out this afternoon for a photo session with my Leica. I went for a walk with Zinnia on our favorite hill. My feel worked very well on that climb. I’ve lost more than 15 lbs.

Zinnia and Fate came with me into the pasture; Fate does her racing around sheep thing; Zinnia hopes for some tasty sheep dropping when I’m not looking.

I went by my Amish neighbors and saw the family and the horses out working on their new home, but I did not have time to stop to visit or get some refreshments. I missed them, though, and felt a pang or two. I’ll try and see them later in the week nod and.

My physical therapist asked me if I was retired, and she said I gave her a look that would melt ice. Never, I said, not while I can think and walk. I said that writers don’t retire; they sit at their desks and write until they nod and drool.

I’ve done both, but not often.

Maria was volunteering at the food co-op this afternoon, and for much of the year, we would have had to wait for her to get done and then come and feed the animals. I had no problem doing the feed for the fourth time in the past couple of days and doing a good shop.

I’m back in the groove; I know which bales are good and which can wait; the animals crowd around me gently and follow me to the feeders. They are very much at ease with me and me with them.

I can’t tell you how good it is to come back to life; this is the life I chose, this is the life I want.