Today, a gentle day, as we call it, we slept late, are going to the Farmer’s Market, and then to the movies, to see the new documentary on the Velvet Underground. Maybe some Thai food on the way. I’ve also got a John Le Carre book to read later.
Saturday, Moise and I were talking and he told me that some people – he didn’t say who or where – were complaining to him that I was writing about him too much, the Amish are very wary of any kind of publicity. They are a private people. I could see the comments had made him uncomfortable.
It was a relief to have this conversation, I am surprised it didn’t come sooner.
Like me, he wishes to keep our friendship and I know he values it as I do. I got the message and have decided to stop writing about the Amish for awhile, and protect the friendship, and let it grow in peace. He has his own world to answer to. Our connection is very strong.
I’m very proud of my writing about the Amish, and I have also been shifting the focus of the blog again, now that the Mansion and Bishop Maginn High School are open to me following their Covid shutdowns. I want to write more about the farm, the dogs and the animals here, and I’ve said just about everything I wanted to say about my encounter with this wonderful new family.
This is what happens with creative people – we go here, we go there.
So for now I won’t be writing about the Millers, I appreciate that some of you will miss it.
Recently, a reader of my blog wrote that I am a person of many passions, most of them brief. She meant it as an insult, but I took it as a compliment, for it is so very true. To me, that is the definition of a good writer. Just like the Amish are not like us, I am not like most people.
I’m grateful to the Millers for letting me have a close look into their lives. I believe it to be some of the best and most meaningful work in my life. This will keep our friendship strong, not weaken it.
I am also reminded of what is important in life this morning by this message from Susan, an attorney.
“I’m a divorce attorney. If more people had relationships like you and Maria, I would be out of business. How lucky you both were to have found each other, just at the right time in your lives. It is clear that you have mutual respect for each other, which is a key to a successful relationship. I always enjoy reading about your relationship.”
I doubt that Susan could know how important her message is for me to read. Thanks Susan.
I am a divorced person, I ended a marrrage that last 35 years – the most painful decision of my life – and produced a wonderful child and grandchild. At the time, I did not believe it was possible for me to have a loving, respectful and nourishing relationship with a human being again. I had no hope of finding love.
Maria has revived my faith in love and partnership and also also in myself. And I’ve learned that good relationships are about mutual respect, just like Susan said. They are about listening and hearing.
As painful and disturbing as these times can be, I love my life more than ever and am up to my neck in good work – Maria, the blog, my pictures, my work with the Army of Good, and soon, my encounters with the refugees from Afghanistan, something I really want to write about. I’m also continuing my series of profiles on the Bishop Maginn High School students and my work with the elderly at the Mansion.
There is no time in my life for anger, self-pity, grievance or argument.
I take responsibility for my life, no one outside of me can make it a good or a bad one.
Thanks for following my blog and my life and most recently, my remarkable encounter with my new neighbors. I never know where this life is going to take me, but my heart and soul is open to it, wherever it goes – I have compete faith in the idea that when a door closes, other doors open.
I can’t wait to see what’s behind this one.
You are insightful and honest. Its refreshing in the current climate of hatefulness. I look forward to whatever you choose to write about. The variations are what keep it interesting.
Thanks Connie, I appreciate that very much…I’m always excited to change, but I will miss it at the same time.
Well shared, well written. My first husband died in violent circumstances. I went to a mental health professional for two occasions. I talked and talked. At the end of the second and last session he said “you are completely sane but your husband was a psychopath”. I am now in a wonderful marriage of 44 years. There is always a new and better path to tread.
Great post, Erika…good for you..
I will miss your writings about the Amish. Please tell Moise that I have a new respect and admiration for them (never had any animosity toward them anyway), but that I understand their desire for privacy. I recently took a trip out of state – and the hotel where I spent a night had Amish staying also. It was nice to see them there – I felt a lot more knowledgeable about them, thanks to you.
I am so grateful for what you have written about your friends, the Millers. I believe you have helped educate people like me (English) about a wonderful community that I had many ideas and opinions about, most of them inaccurate. I love that you and Moise could have that conversation and that now, you will respect his wish to keep your relationship private. I look forward to further adventures and the opening of hearts and minds.
Thanks Barbara, I feel our friendship is very real and this will solidify and protect it..thanks for your good words..It’s hard to have a friendship you’re writin about..
I’m looking forward to your review of the Velvet Underground documentary. Enjoy!
Coming soon
I am new to your writings and books, and your blog. Having grown up with animals and still spending a lot of time with them, mostly dogs these days, I enjoy your experience and awareness. I write also, and have struggled with interests changing and feeling like I’m weird that I don’t pick one thing in life to do, or just a few main subjects to write about. Reading your words reminds me it’s ok to be creative, a writer, a photographer, an artist and go where the inspiration and creative juices flow. Thank you for being yourself, and writing about what you see, and feel and experience.
I will miss the Amish posts but hope your friendship with them will continue.
It will if I want it to, and I do..
I will miss your writing about the Millers. It is an insight into a culture I knew nothing about. I applaud you for putting your friendship first, though. I look forward to your encounters with the Afghan refugees.
I’ll miss it to Mary, although I’m sure I’ll mention them from time to time, thanks for the good words, I’m looking forward to doing a better job with the refugee story, at least for awhile..
Everyday I wake up and ask my higher power, I choose to believe this is the good and loving energy in the universe, to put me in the place where I can do the most good. For years I directed this energy outwardly. Now that I am older I see that I must also focus on my inner self and love. We all have the freedom and capacity to go where this life takes us gathering wisdom and spreading love along the way. How fortunate we all are. John your writing starting way back with your BC stories have brought me such joy. I welcome your shifting your focus anyway you wish to travel! What’s important is the love we give and receive along the journey!
Thank you Rena, that is a wonderful message to get and I appreciate it…
Jon, whatever you choose to write about, we appreciate being allowed to come along for the ride. Keep on writing man – you are a source of goodness and light (ditto for Maria!).
Thanks Maria, much appreciated..
I have loved your stories about the Amish (and bought several Amish novels as a result), and will miss them greatly, but I totally understand and respect your decision (and their privacy). I look forward to more stories about the students and the Mansion. I love reading about you and Maria and the farm animals too.
Thanks Charlotte, Im’ sure I’ll have reason to mention them from time to time, but I appreciate your good words, I do like the idea of focusing more on my family than theirs…:)
I liked your writings about the Amish. I’m going to be passing through your area after Thanksgiving, and I plan to stop at his place and buy some of his products. Sometimes publicity is good for business!
It will if I want it to, R,and I do..
I have enjoyed getting to know the Millers but I understand that they might get uncomfortable with it. It’s too bad but their feelings are the most important thing.
The truth is I was getting uncomfortable with it, Jamie, it just feels like the right time to back off…They are not trying to push me away..
I have followed you since reading your books about your border collies. I have had several and reading your thoughts has meant a lot to me and my enjoyment of them. Ditto about Bedlam Farm and your relationship with your neighbors. I have them charming, enlightening and very life affirming. Thank you so much.
Thank you Beverly, it is heart warming to read all of these nice notes and be reminded how good most people are.
I got hooked years ago on your dog stories and have stayed thru all your adventures. Learning about the Millers changed my life for the better. I will miss the frequent mentions of them but I respect their wishes and your understanding. Cheers
I am not surprised at all that you sensed , even prior to your discussion with Moise, that it may have been time for your writing about his family to ease up a bit. I have so enjoyed your writing about this wonderful family and hope there will be more in the future….. their sense of privacy must be maintained at their comfort level, and you have done just that through respect. Thank you for sharing what is comfortable for both of you!
Susan M
Thanks Susan, it was time, I appreciate your messages..