Photo and design by Maria Wulf

I learned early on that the beauty of darkness is that it is invariably followed by light. I like surgery because it leads to healing and recovery, and those are more beautiful than surgery is painful, at least so far for me.

Yesterday was a hard day for me, and for Maria, today began beautifully and has remained that way. For the first time in many years, I slept through the night, and for the third day in a row, my foot gave me little or no pain.

I freaked out a bit when I first tried my new sleep apnea mask on yesterday. I am happy to tell you I tried it three or four times and then put it on at bedtime. Honestly, I woke up feeling refreshed and rested and full of energy. I have to be humble and concede that I don’t remember feeling like that for years, if ever.

I got off to a bad start with sleeping; I wet my bed until I was seventeen.

I  don’t recall sleeping continuously or deeply, or long ever since. I wake up tired and fight my way to wakefulness.

I’m used to being called out for being stupid; I have no shame about it, just some embarrassment. But as a teacher once taught me, if you don’t make many mistakes, you can’t ever really learn anything.

Sometimes you don’t know just how tired you are until you find a way to rest. I have been looking for a way to relax for as long as I can remember.

The angels sent my sleep apnea mask. It’s only been one night, and there is more to learn, but the apnea mask is well thought out and exactly as advertised.

I didn’t know my heart was stopping 79 times an hour at night until I had my sleep test.  I also found out that the oxygen level in my blood was 30 percent too low. I doubted that a thin plastic mask could make such a big difference.

I was wrong. It did. And right away.

I got up two or three times last night but slept almost entirely from 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. Maria noticed a difference right away, and I felt it right away. I was anxious to get up, on fire to write something, and eager to go out and find the distilled water for the humidifier in my mask machine.

The morning is a gold time for us, and today, I felt that way.

My mind was clear and sharp, and I felt an energy in my writing that was exciting. I woke up laughing and wanting to love Maria.

For as long as I can remember, I woke up feeling tired and wanted more sleep, which I could never get. I’ve always had the energy to work and get through the day, but it wasn’t easy.

I don’t want to overstate one day, but it was a fantastic first night.

Maria reminded me that I had just had surgery and bludgeoned me into lying down for a short nap. I put the mask on and went to sleep again; the breathing apparatus was so simple that I didn’t believe the machine was turned on.

I slept for 20 minutes this morning; my anesthesia is hanging on a bit. And took a short nap after lunch. I’m catching up, not exhausted at all.

The technology in this mask and machine is impressive, it’s almost impossible to mess it up, and I am known for messing things up. Thanks to all of the people who urged me to do this and assured me it would work out and perhaps change my life. That’s big talk in an age of cynicism and mistrust.

Even my dyslexia didn’t prevent me from understanding how the machine works.

So this is my truth today. Tomorrow is another day, but it’s promising.

I hugged Maria, as usual; I had to adjust the mask for a leak once during the night; I turned over as usual and got up as expected. The people who designed this knew what they were doing.

It’s an article of faith that I don’t tell other people what to do. We all have to find our path in this world, something once independent Americans are learning to forget on social media.

I can tell you that this machine is a game-changer, and I am excited about it and grateful for it. I woke up thinking I had stumbled across a miracle.

Monday, I see the podiatric surgeon and hopefully can begin easing up on the icing and lifting of the leg. Perhaps I can even take a short walk. Today, I’m going outside to sit in the sun and read one of my books. Protein shake for dinner.