I was in the process of posting this Happy Birthday photo of Robin, my granddaughter, on her fifth birthday. She held the vulture I sent her, and I’m not sure what the other present is.

It’s a happy image, and I enjoy posting happy images. I want very much for the blog to make people feel hope and also to help people think.

I need to stop and consider alone what happened today in Afghanistan.

As I was writing this, I heard the awful news from Kabul and could not help but think of the people who died helping people get to freedom. The innocent civilians, parents, and children,  slaughtered in the street, hoping to get their families to freedom.

To get to America, still the beacon of hope and light for so many people.

In my childhood, I was surrounded by people I loved who were also desperate to get to freedom and forever grateful to the United States for giving them their lives back and offering them lives of hope and safety.

A lot of American soldiers died then so they could come here and live their lives.

And so I could live mine. They understood patriotism in a way I can never forget, but that so many people have.

Before I could understand what happened, politicians starting attacking one another; even tragedy and crisis can’t seem to bring us together.

Many of these politicians suggested the Afghan refugees risking their lives for freedom were just terrorists, worthless people, global garbage we should not admit to our country, just what people said about my grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncles.

It sometimes feels that our hearts and souls are shriveling and turning into prunes.

We are sick and selfish in so many ways. Some of us have forgotten who we are.

And then I learned that 12 American soldiers had died trying to give people their freedom, and they paid for it with their lives, as so many Americans have for so long. And it hit me very hard, a series of traumas one after the other.

I could not stop thinking of those people who gave their lives for freedom.

Tomorrow, Maria gives me a delayed birthday present, two days in Vermont, reading, sleeping, walking, talking. (Trying out my new camera).

I want to pause the blog in honor and memory of those killed today and those who are risking their lives to help others in the coming days.

I’ll be offline for two days, hopefully in reflection and empathy. I’m leaving Robin’s birthday photo up because it is the right note, and it will make people smile. There is always hope in the eyes of children.

I pray for these victims, I’ll think of them, I’ll consider how I can be constructive and positive, and compassionate in the coming months and years. I’m dedicating my blog to that and to those who gave their lives today for freedom.

And I will think long and hard about the sacrifices people have made for people like me, who are not warriors but yearn to be free.

Robin is perhaps too young to understand this, but I hope that someday she understands that these soldiers who died sacrificed their lives so that she could be free as well.

I’m beginning to understand just who the real terrorists are and where they live.

I’ll check in tomorrow on the blog before we leave but won’t write again today or tonight. I wish you all peace and compassion today and tonight and in the days beyond.

I do this in memory of those who lost their lives and their freedom today; I want to find a way to feel good about humanity, even as we are drowning in inhumanity.

Love to you all. Later.