We said our final goodbyes to Mary Kellogg this afternoon at a small and very warm funeral home in Granville, N.Y. About a dozen members of her family were there, and friends from her time living on the mountain. There were not too many left, but they came reading poems and sharing memory.
It was a country service, old-fashioned in many ways. Mary lay in an open casket, the family posted scores of photographs of her life. I spoke and Maria spoke.
The mood was light and celebratory.
Maria cried once or twice, I choked up once or twice. The family thanked me for choosing to celebrate her life rather than only mourn and grieve over her death.
This is simpler to do when there is a long illness, as Mary suffered.
Most of us said our goodbyes a long time ago and did what grieving we needed to do. The minister was a fundamentalist, his speech was mostly Bible and Christ references tied to Mary.
The minister assured us that she was headed for heaven. I can see that.
Several people rose up Quaker style, to tell their favorite Mary stories, she was a remarkable woman in so many ways. We did a lot of hugging with her daughters Nancy and Barbara, who worked so hard to help Mary stay on her farm for as long as possible.
They were all with Mary at the end, and are also ready to say goodbye.
We finally met Emily (who looks just like Mary), the beloved granddaughter who lives in Milwaukee but who came to visit as often as she could.
I talked about meeting Mary, reading her wonderful poetry, working with Maria to get four books published (you can find at least one of them on Amazon), and our friendship, which only grew and deepened.
Tonight, her body will be taken downstate to Westchester County where she was born and where her husband Dick is buried. Dick died of Alzheimer’s, Mary took care of him every day for ten years until he died before I met her.
She is a hero of mine and of Maria’s in a world with too few heroes. She was perhaps the strongest and bravest woman I have known. Like Maria, she taught me much about nature, I am beginning to see that the best and strongest women have a relationship with animals and nature.
I love you, Mary, I don’t know about heaven, but I hope you are where you wanted to go. You deserve it.
Mary Kellogg Day is over for me, and I spent some time along with Mary and said what I need to say. It was important, it was draining
Life goes on and I will also.
What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful and creative lady. I remember Mary Kellogg’s strong, positive influence in your and Maria’s lives. Rejoice in having her as a good friend.
I met Mary only once . My father in law lived near her. He was also a man of nature who taught us a lot. I am a friend of her daughter Barbara’s. Though a brief encounter it always stayed with me. I loved the way this strong woman lived and seemed to appreciate and respect all around her. A special person
Thank you for the beautiful tribute to my Aunt Mary. The family all knew about you and her wonderful friendship with you. I’m not sure how many realized what a gifted poet she was until her books were published. I treasure them. My mother, Janice, was a life long friend and sister-in-law. They were laid to rest next to each other along with their husbands Dick and my father, Lindsay.
Elizabeth, thanks for writing me and for your great note. I think I will not ever meet anyone quite like Mary. And her talent was striking. Thanks for getting in touch and great luck to you.Mary was nothing but a gift to me and Maria.