Maria and I packed up ten years of photographs; we wrapped my Canon camera and 12 lenses and battery charges off to B&H photo in New York, where I hope to trade all of them to pay off all or most of my new Leica monochrome Q2, coming tomorrow.

I have a lot of history in those boxes; they held me capture a great change in my life and history of the past decade, which was tumultuous for me.

I loved the work that camera did for me, and I hope to honor it by doing even better work. I have the tools. Maria and I first became friends because of my photography; she called me every evening to encourage me even though my editor said I wasted a lot of time on mediocre pictures.

Maria and I connected on this level of creativity, and several years later, we were married. I wish I had the words to capture what photography has meant to me, how it helped me to see the world in a radically different way, how it helped to ease the awful depression and anxiety that was trapping me then.

Again and again, my camera and lenses led me to color and light, and color and light have changed me and opened me up.

My pictures helped me see the world in a new way and see myself in a new way.

I am not really a sentimentalist, and I love the present much more than the past. But fair is fair, I owe a lot to the tools in those boxes, and it does hurt to think I will never use them or see them again. I hope they end up in good and creative hands.

My Canon 5D’s were patient with me, simple to use, and wonderful in the right light. But the challenge is good for me; learning is good for me, changing is good for me.

I am ever on guard against old fartism, which holds that the past is always better than the present or the future. I’m not into that.

My photography was the beginning of that transformation.  I remember when I took my first photo of a dead leaf in Hebron on a path into the woods. It reflected my mood.

Why everyone didn’t run away is a mystery to me. But thanks.

I’m just getting started once more.

I have a lot to learn with the Leica, the first time I have ever owned a Leica camera, and I will continue to explore the boundaries and opportunities of the Iphone. If it’s good enough to make Hollywood movies, it’s good enough for me.

I hope my old stuff will knock down that bill or eat it up entirely. Everything has a price, and I know that I need to pay it.

We started packing the equipment at 7 p.m. and brought it to the FedEx pick-up at Walgreen’s at 7:30. How does one thank a camera? By continuing to learn and grow and take beautiful and meaningful pictures, I think. That’s the least I can do.

That’s how I give thanks to a camera.