A faithful blog reader named Trish sent Maria a game a couple of months ago called Bird Spotting Opoly. Instead of streets, the game has birds.

Instead of houses, it has eggs. Instead of going to jail, you go to Dipping, which means you didn’t spot the birds. Instead of hotels, there are nests.

If you are a bird geek like my wife, this game is for you.

The game looks classier than Monopoly and is different – and better –  in every graphic detail. Birds are a lot nicer to look at than men in top hats and walrus mustaches.

The book is published by the Audobon Society and instead of “Go Straight To Jail, the cards each offer rescue information about birds and stories about a score of different birds.

Needless to say, Maria was delighted by this name in every respect, pausing repeatedly pausing to share intimate insights and bios of birds I never heard of.

Also, needless to say, she won the game, which was a good and intense game, and lots of fun. We each had one bird “opoly” and took turns nearly wiping out each other. The game raged back and forth for more than an hour.

I landed in a $1,000 bird’s next t and had to concede.

I tried to claim the game was rigged, but nobody was buying it.

I was wary of the game and resisted it, but I have to be honest. It was a lot of fun.

My ego is never heavily invested in board games, which is a good thing because I often lose them or get confused, they are not simple for Dyslexics.

I never once counted the money right.

Maria, for all her posturing about being sweet and gentle, is a fierce opponent, she wins with glee. I would say this comes from being half Sicilian, except I don’t want to stir up the many victims of insensitivity out there by mentioning her heritage.

The good news is that I’m not accepting nasty messages any longer on my blog and I’m giddy with freedom. Suck it up, trolls and aggrieved people.

The game was rigged as much as any game in history was ever rigged, and as soon as I get Rudy Guiliana to call me back, I’ll be able to prove it. He doesn’t seem all that interested in my case, wait until he sees the proof.