There is predictable loneliness to assisted care.

People’s lives are upended; they leave their lives behind, their friends, families, pets, homes,  routines, much of their privacy, and some of their dignity and hope.

The conventions of normal are behind them, and they miss the rhythms and routines of life. They often feel forgotten and cut off from the world. There is only so much the aides can do.

We have been talking about this in my weekly meditation classes, one of my most favorite hours of any week. This inspired something new – a loneliness meditation class.

I go to the Mansion with Zinnia every Thursday morning.

I’m getting to know the residents again, the new ones and a few of the old ones I hadn’t seen for more than a year. They were devastated by Covid-19 and still trying to recover.

“My granddaughter died of cancer during Covid,” one of the class members told me, still tearing. “She couldn’t come to say goodbye.”

She said her granddaughter stood outside a Mansion window 100 feet from the doors and waved to her a week before she died.

I pass out my Amish bracelets to everyone who comes to the class. I call them “Meditation Bracelets.”

Today, I asked the group how they would feel if I started a 10-week meditation on loneliness.

They all said they would love to attend. Because of the pandemic, only five residents can be in the same room at any time, so we are limited.

I talked about several techniques therapists have recommended dealing with loneliness, especially among the elderly. We did some breathing exercises. Among my recommendations:

Let go. Don’t fight the loneliness you are feeling. Accept and look for ways to cope, heal and feel better. Even in so loving a place as the Mansion, it is reasonable to feel loneliness at this stage of life.

I talked about “connection” meditations which help us connect with the people we care about and wish to remember. We did an exercise: think of light deep inside your stomach and make it bigger as we meditate until it glows and brightens.

They said they loved those recommendations and are eager to use them. The class felt very close to one another; each week, I’ll bring new techniques, and we will practice some. I asked them to bring their own ideas.

Julie, who is passionate about her cross-stitch needlework, is in the class.

We got her this unicorn pattern, and she has been working on it for weeks. She wanted to show it to me, and she wanted all of you to see it so you can see what your donations can bring to people’s lives.

The aides say this needlework turned her around, from discouraged to happy and proud. I can see it in her face, she is SO proud of that unicorn, she shows it to everyone she sees.

I asked Julie, the activities director if there was anything she needed, and she pointed ruefully to the message board behind, long worn down and mostly unintelligible. It is a wreck, and it’s important.

I ordered a 46 by 38″ magnetic erase board, it will come to the farm, and I’ll bring it over. We traffic in small but significant things, small acts of great kindness. It all adds up. One day at a time, one resident at a time.

The old one, as you can see, lasted about five years. I also ordered 24 witches’ hats and 24 witch’s brooms from Bulk Party Supplies.

This is for our special Halloween celebration, part of our campaign to lift the covid-damaged morale at the Mansion.

If you have any Halloween decorations, cards, or witchy things, please feel free to send them to the Mansion, 11 S. Union Avenue, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816 c/o Tania Woodward.

The Halloween festival is Tania’s idea, we are working together on a project to lighten things up, and heal. Feel free to send Halloween trinks and hanging objects (non-flammable, not electric.)

I’m very excited about my 10 meditation class on how to cope with loneliness. I think the virus accelerated these feelings; the residents were literally separated from family and friends for nearly a year.

Even in the class, they have to social distance from each other, and from me.

The idea has visibly motivated the class; two told me as I left that the things we talked about already made them feel better and gave them some ways to ease the loneliness they feel.

Part of it, they said, is getting old, but some of it can be eased; they want their lives to brighten up.

We’re working on it. The plan is to find a happy spot for each resident and touch it.