My feelings about my country are complicated these past few years. It used to be very simple to be a patriot and love your country; it’s not so simple now.

The country I thought we were turned out not to be the country we are. The country we are in is racked by conflict, betrayed by leaders, suffused with grievance, racism, and hatred.

But also by innovation, hope, good people, and promise.

On this day, I wish for the next chapter, where we start to become the country we want to be.

We are not one thing but everything, it seems. One of the things we have always been is both racist and hateful – to all kinds of people, not just black people. We have always been hate to outsiders.

That dark Christian Nationalist Vein was always here, from the KKK in 1850 to the Nazis marching so brazenly in Charlottesville. Donald Trump is the King Of Haters; he brought them out of the shadows and into the light, hiding, as they always seem to do, behind our flag.

When I can, I make it a point to try to feel empathy for them: Mr. Trump lied to them, betrayed them, used them and them left them hanging out to dry, as he does eventually to almost everyone around him.

As usually happens, it falls to the FBI to push the worst of the extremist haters back into the darkness.  Sometimes they get the good ones in the rush. They’ve always managed to do it, starting with the KKK and up the communists and Dr. King.

If there is one thing a true patriot or Jew or African-American can smell a thousand miles off, it’s a white Christian Nationalist. They never really change, not here, not anywhere.

At least we can see them right out in the open, and no honest and rational person or congressperson can deny it. Unfortunately, sanity is no longer required when you run for office in Mr. Trump’s pathetic party.

Mr. Trump did much more damage to us than was apparent at first, but he getting weaker by the day, the King of nothing but the nasty old white men.  As an older white man, I would like to be almost anything else.

For all that, I am filled with hope this Fourth Of July.

And sadness. Yesterday, we went to see the wonderful movie “Summer Of Soul,” about the forgotten music festival that marked the black musical uprising in 1969 after the death of Martin Luther King.

Musician after musician cried out for change, by all means, at any cost. It would break their hearts to see their movie come out right after Congress trashed the new Voting Rights Bill and restrict minority voting all across America.

It really is true. Nothing is new, is it?

It was beautiful to hear the music and see the spirit; sad to think that 50 years later, black people will once again have to fight the resilient racists of America to get the right to vote.

Remember, if you bring Grandma a drink in the voting lines in Georgia, you might go to jail.

We are not the country we always claimed to be and still pretend to be.

Donald Trump left us a sick and confused nation this Fourth of July, still urging denial of an awful pandemic that killed 600,000 people, and then, shameless as always, is still working hard to undermine the very heart of democracy on its birthday.

The people we used to call patriots hate our country more than almost any enemy. The people who used to hate America are fighting for it and its future.

Nathan Hale famously said he was sad to only have one life to give to his nation. His successors wouldn’t even give up a lie.

I see a lot to fear. I see a lot of reasons to hope.

They came closer than we knew, then we thought. But they couldn’t get over the top—the center held.  Sometimes it seems as if we and the media have forgotten that. But it is a very big deal.

Trumpism is getting weaker by the day, and for all the damage it did, it will never prevail and is never coming back. The economy is healing, jobs are returning, schools are opening. Next year will be different than this one.

Should the Republicans win the presidency again and take control of the House or Senate again, they will learn, as they did last year, what it means to be a minority party in a vast and ever more diverse country. They will see a new kind of revolution.

Be careful of what you wish for, Mitch.

Every day Trump seems more and more spiritless, desperate for his applause in rallies, mourning his Twitter Feed, saying the same old tired things, again and again, he is almost turning to dust before our eyes. He will never be President again, nor could he survive the effort.

The virus is in his blood, his deal with the devil.

At the heart of this movement are angry old white men and angry young white men. How many people of color do you see on those big trucks?

The country is changing all around them. People are actually holding out for better-paying jobs, reconsidering their lives, pondering rebirth and renewal.

These are the new patriots, the new Americans.

Can anyone really think it’s possible to turn the clock back?

This is the time when the strong and the good-hearted beat back the lies and the fury and the cowards.

It’s their time now, time for the gentler, kinder America we have all been waiting for. We never had to really think about it before; that is the joy and the glory of being “woke.”

Being “woke” had become a hot political issue for those who hate change. But for me, being “woke” is one of the things I most love about America. We do it again and again, all the time. I keep getting “woke” again and again in my life.

I pray I’m still trying the day I die.

It ought to be printed on the dollar.

We are always waking up, standing up, falling, getting pushed down, being disappointed, and then waking again. We are not the country we want to be, but we are always trying to be the country we want to be.

I don’t know anyone who’s given up. I haven’t.

From my work on the blog, I know that countless good people out there believe in our country and its generosity and inclusiveness.

The people who ridicule the idea of being “woke” will regret their contempt for consciousness. They are still asleep and will soon pay for it.

The “woke” are not always visible, not always loud, not angry; they are rarely seen on TV unless someone is making fun of them.  But they are a mighty army, the heart, and soul of the American Dream.

The White Christian Nationalists can carry all the machine guns they want, ride around in all those big pickups with our stolen flag; they have never won, even defecate in hallowed halls. They will never win.

There are millions of real Christians out there, and they know what the message of Jesus really was, and they will fight for it in their own way.

So will all of the “others,” the young, the gay, the moms,  the trans, the brown, the black, the yellow, the women, the immigrants, the Dreamers,  the poor, and the many old people whose souls have not yet turned bitter and blind.

Love is on their side. Justice is on their side.  Empathy is on their side. Truth is on their side.

The haters are outgunned and outsmarted.

They are the true patriots now, the do-gooders, those whose hearts beat with compassion and empathy, the kinder, gentle part of our souls.

They are the biggest army ever, and they are just beginning to fight; they are just beginning to learn how to fight. This army won its first big victory, a miracle, in 2020.

Just wait until next time.

The angry and aggrieved, the craven and seditious,  cranky old justices, the greedy traitorous politicians, the hypocritical CEOs will soon be just another black stain on our history, an episode to forever be linked to betrayal and corruption of patriotism.

Like most immigrant family members, I always loved my country – we all know the alternative – but I took it for granted. I am “woke” now and give thanks for it. I will do everything I can to cancel hatred and lies and bring back compassion, honesty, and love.

I want to a soldier in this new army, I am proud of them, and I want to be proud of myself. I want to carry their flag.

For all of this drama, this Sturm and Drang, I take note on this holiday that I am happy to be an American, proud to be an American, and grateful to be an American.

As messed up as we are, we are still better than almost any other thing. And we will be better yet, I know it.

Happy Birthday, country, and to all those who love it.