“The Amish are growing. Their population doubles about every twenty years. Counting adults and children, they number more than 325,000 souls. More than 85 percent of children raised in an Amish home will join the church and remain Amish throughout their lives.” – Donald B. Kraybill, Simply Amish.
I sometimes feel that I am living in a seething cauldron rather than a country, on the edge of exploding with grievance, left and right political correctness, argument, lies, outrage, and hatred.
We constantly seek and find reasons to hate and judge one another.
A few weeks ago, I started writing regularly about the Amish families moving to my county, town, and neighborhood. I was thrilled to meet them, get to know them, talk to them, give them rides to the bus station, get good dog food for their dog, find the right books and recipes to give their children as welcome presents.
They have transformed our neighborhood and our community; for the first time, horse carriages are nearly as common as big and smelly trucks.
Their arrival seemed a miracle to me, and I was enthralled by their kindness, gentleness, sense of family, hard work, and community. They are astonishingly ingenious about how they live.
In a sense, I found the kind of friendship I was hoping for. They welcomed me and seemed to value me and understand me; I fell in love with the closest family.
I come and go at will, and there is often a horse carriage in our back yard. They lift me. The Amish father next door has become a close and valued friend, as have his children and wife. We get one another.
At first, I was nearly overwhelmed by the praise and thanks I received from hundreds of my readers, grateful to read about the Amish and learn more about them.
But except for my reporting days, I had no occasion to be as close to them as I am now or to get to know them as well as I am doing now.
I still get those messages, thanks, but a new strain has been added. A couple of days ago, I began getting different kinds of messages, not pleasant or grateful: a woman said after reading my columns about the Amish made her ill: (Another wrote that my writing about their lives was “creepy” and invasive.)
A week ago, a woman claiming to be a feminist accused me of glorifying the persecution of women by suggesting the family I was seeing was happy. Amish women are enslaved, she said, not colorful. I was enabling their suffering.
“The way you romanticize a group of people who systematically enforce outdated gender norms and who have been extremely cruel to any children who have the misfortune to fall outside of heteronormative boundaries is sickening,” said Jessica.
That was a first. My too-flip response was to give her the link of a doctor who would, online and for only $19, get her some medicine for her stomach.
(I was further criticized for not knowing what the word “heteronormative” meant. I couldn’t find it on Google; I had misspelled it) People have written to me daily lately, claiming that the Amish are notorious abusers of dogs, puppies, gays, and women.
Several people have suggested that I am romanticizing the Amish, as Jessica suggested. Another reader said my writing about the Amish was creepy.
Many of these questions are valid, and I should, of course, be acknowledging them at the very least.
But I am not sure how to feel: I wonder if any culture, movement, ideology, or political leader can survive the cauldron that our public lives have become. I dislike labeling, and any political correctness, left or right, which I consider the death of free thought, one of the greatest gifts we humans are given.
Several women who identified as feminists wrote that women in Amish homes were breeding slaves, worn out in mid-life by having children year after year, even when it was no longer healthy for them.
The most blatantly dismissive and dubious messages are, as always, from the animal rights people, who, I learned during the New York Carriage Horse controversies, have adopted lying and distorting the truth (some, but not all) as their primary tool in their unrelenting campaign to remove most animals from the earth in the name of love.
The great shame is that animals desperately need an animal rights movement now, but it should be a movement that fights to keep them in our lives, not take them away. The Amish horses, like the New York Carriage Horses, are among the luckiest and best cared for horses on the planet.
Part of this is just America in 2021; we are in so many ways a country that has forgotten how to communicate decently with one another or accord each other respect.
We start by name-calling and end in outrage and contempt. We are taught from birth by our leaders to hate people who are different from us. I will never understand how people who believe in a cause think they can open a conversation with someone by calling them “sickening” because they disagree.
We seeth with judgment and resentment. From a distance, I imagine this wonderful country smoldering like coal in a cooling fire.
I need to say at the outset that the Amish are especially vulnerable to generalized attacks like this. They don’t give interviews, write op-ed pieces, hire lobbyists, sue for slander or defamation, market their lives, and they have very different values from Americans who consider themselves progressives.
They seem innocent to me, almost pure at times. They have no media or political ideology to poison them and shower them with news about the worst and most degrading side of life. They don’t give money to politicians or accept money from corporations or anyone else.
They are often accused of things that are epidemic in our country and much of the world. In the Orthodox Jewish culture I grew up in, gay sons and daughters were routinely expelled, as they were and are in Catholic and Evangelical homes in America. Gay people are exiled, tortured, and killed in several third-world and African countries.
Once the pride of the free world, we pursue trans people with brutal laws and lies in our own country.
I’ve never heard of an Amish person killing anyone in violence. They follow Jesus in every way, especially his call for forgiveness and compassion for the vulnerable and the needy.
Women all over the earth treated are abused, raped, mutilated, and exploited. It seems wrong to pin these labels on the Amish in so focused away.
I’m not a hater or a judge by nature; I don’t want to dislike everyone on the earth. People have a right to be different from me. Some things are just wrong and can’t be rationalized.
I am morally obliged to be tolerant of others insofar as I can. The Amish prove that we can live peacefully and harmoniously with people who are different if we are open to it and willing to work at it. That is a big deal.
I don’t believe the animal rights people. They lie and have no ethics about slandering people, and many are woefully ignorant about animals and the things they need.
As one who has been in numerous Amish homes and seen their dogs and horses, I can say I have never witnessed any animal abuse, even though the Amish see their animals as work tools, not cute pets.
The messages jolted me in several ways. One especially harsh post said I was enabling the Amish in that I only saw them through my own prism, not the prism of others with deep concerns about them.
I’m not sure what to make of the messages I’m getting, and even more painfully, not sure what to do about them.
I was vaguely familiar with the stories of how young gay men and women are driven from Amish families and communities if they choose to come out and live their lives openly. That is awfully cruel.
I witnessed the sacrifice of Amish women who have up to 13 children.
Last year, I read Saloma Furlong’s autobiography Why I Left The Amish in which she wrote about the sexual abuse she experienced growing up in an Amish home.
The total domination of Amish men in that culture makes Amish women have to abuse, writes Furlong because they have been taught since childhood to obey men.
I think that what the messages I have been receiving have done is awaken me and remind me to be careful about romanticizing a people; in the same way, the critics of the Amish ought to be careful about generalizing about them.
There are different kinds of Amish sub-cultures – Old Amish, New Amish, Modern Amish – and wide differences in how they live. There is not just one kind of Amish any more than there is one kind of Jew or Catholic.
Because they can’t and won’t defend themselves, they make easy targets – they don’t know about PR or message spinning – for the aggrieved and outraged.
But I can’t find any evidence of any Amish person beating or killing or torturing a gay person. That is the honor of mostly Christian white men, according to the FBI.
The animal rights people who e-mail me have no specifics, really, just bad memories and horror stories about puppy mills they say they have encountered. There is no way to survey that.
I have no doubt there are awful puppy mills; I also don’t believe it has anything to do with my neighbor, whose dog was given a permanent home after she got a foot caught in a farmer’s saw and sleeps in front of a toasty woodstove every night.
She is much loved and well cared for. The family asked me to find the best dog food for her, and they pay me back.
There is plenty of sexual abuse beyond Amish communities; it seems to appear in almost every community in the world. The Amish seem to be getting more than their fair share of suspicion and slandering. Or perhaps they are just getting the same treatment everyone else gets thanks to our divided country and our anti-social media.
You can romanticize as a writer in two ways: exaggerating the qualities of someone or ignoring accusations and concerns about them. I am guilty of the latter.
While I’m not able to gauge the accuracy or falsehoods surrounding these issues in detail, I am in a position to at least note that they exist and make my readers aware of them. That’s what I’m doing today and will do from time to time in the future.
But never with an eye to judgment. There are plenty of people lining up to do that.
I want to know more about them, that is my job too.
I am truly sickened by sexual abuse, sexism, and the persecution of gay and trans people. It exists everywhere, often in the most savage and brutal ways.
The Amish are not savage or brutal, even when they are misguided by my lights.
So here is where I am getting to: I am not persuaded to abandon my Amish friends or mistrust or revile them. They are not evil; they are good people of great faith working day and night to keep their culture and way of life intact in a world that is, in almost every way, going in another direction.
They stand for many good things, including pacifism, environmental awareness, forgiveness, simplicity, compassion, hard work, and independence.
People ask me frequently how to donate to the Amish.
There is no way to donate to the Amish because they don’t need or accept donations. Every Amish family returned their stimulus checks this year and last with letters to the government saying they don’t need money from outside; they take care of themselves.
They do not seek or accept charity from anyone.
The Amish women I know – I’ve spoken with a few about this – tell me they are proud to have so many children and contribute so directly to their faith, farms, homes, husbands, and communities.
They say it makes them feel joyous, pious, and meaningful.
I doubt that these women trust me completely enough yet to be totally honest about their lives, but they do not seem unhappy or browbeaten or enslaved to me.
“My life is my choice,” one told me.”I am free to leave. God wants me right here.”
The Amish family stricture is not really new. It evokes the families of the early American migrations West.
Farm families had as many children as possible so that there was enough free labor to work a farm and so the farm could be maintained when the parents grew older.
The family farm’s survival depended on having a lot of children who were strong and healthy. That was always considered a noble ethos of the American experience.
The Amish way of life depends on large families to survive. The Amish culture is determined to survive and has been astonishingly resilient for hundreds of years.
I did some research today – there is a lot of serious writing about homosexuality and the Amish.
The Amish faith considers homosexuality as a sin and a serious one.
There is no debate or compromise within the community about it. This is a religious rather than political position; the Bible says it is evil, and they follow scripture closely.
Amish scholars like Donald Kraybill and James Cates say there is no chance that any Amish sect would allow open homosexuality in their midst.
I did find evidence that Amish communities offer counsel to gay people if they seek it – it is not mandated, and it does not offer “cures” – and gay men and women can choose to live alone and remain in the community as long as they agree to never live openly with their sexuality.
Single men and women are welcomed into Amish life, and it is believed that many church followers have chosen that path. They must not practice their sexuality in the open.
It is heartbreaking to read some of the messages these gay children post online when they leave the faith.
The best book on the subject (it’s on the way to the farm) is James Cates: Serpent In The Garden: Amish Sexuality In a Changing World.
A reader who followed the posts on my blog page sent me this excerpt from a review of Cate’s book.
“Cates is unflinching in his discussion of gay identity within the Amish. Gay Amish face a choice of leaving the church (and thus their families, churches, communities, and vocations) or sublimating their gay identities and presenting a heterosexual self. Because “personal identity is subsumed to the group,” and because the collective culture of the Amish is heteronormative, there is no openly gay Amish subgroup. He does not foresee a change in their stance toward LGBTQ people: “The Amish attempt to maintain their heteronormative standard is part of a larger, longstanding overarching effort to retain their way of life, regardless of the derision heaped upon them.”
For the record, and to spare my readers from academic abuse and contempt, “heteronormativity is the belief that heterosexuality is the default, preferred or normal mode of sexual orientation. It assumes the gender binary (i.e., that there are only two distinct, opposite genders and that sexual and marital relations are most fitting between people of the opposite sex.” – Wikipedia.
I spoke with two Amish men this afternoon, one older, one young. I asked them about gay people and the church. They tightened up but didn’t flinch.
Both said the subject is rarely discussed in their community, in church, or anywhere else. They affirmed their strong belief that homosexuality was a sin, but they also affirmed an equally strong tenet of the Amish faith that forbids judging other cultures and religions.
They would, they said, never condone violence or cruelty when it came to dealing with a person who was, in their words, “a homosexual.” That, they said, was not compatible with God or the Bible.
The Amish men said there was no discussion about changing their position on being gay and that it would never happen. It was, they said, a major sin. People who wanted to be openly homosexual, they said, would be asked to leave the community.
Neither knew of anyone to whom that had happened.
I appreciate being prodded into acknowledging that Amish isn’t just about being plain and simple and industrious. These are things we need to talk about, not paper over. There are always things to hear that I don’t want to hear, and there are always things to hear that I don’t want or need to hear.
My life is not plain or simple.
As with all of us who live in America, every culture has its own underside, its own discreditors, and critics.
Speaking only for myself, I am much more trusting of Amish beliefs than those of extreme Orthodox Jews or the Roman Catholic Church, which has become a global oppressor of women and gay youths and men.
I’d feel a lot safer at an Amish church service than most religious buildings I’ve been in.
Women, I am told, often leave the Amish faith, and so do many young men. No one pursues them, tries to stop them, or tries to bring them back.
I find my new Amish friends to be admirable, loving, and industrious people. They care about God, family, and themselves in that order. They are taught humility, modesty, and empathy. They don’t lie, speak poorly of others, sue people or harm them.
They are taught that no one is better or more important than anyone else.
They are kind to me and thoughtful about me.
Their children seem happy, outgoing, socially skilled, and busy; they live in a world apart from machines and screens. I see in them the awful damage we are doing to our “English” children, who teachers say are forgetting how to talk to others.
We live in a world where Presidents lie brazenly, scores of people are shot and killed every day, members of Congress are suspected of sex trafficking, leaders are too often weak, dishonest, and greedy.
When we find people to respect, even admire, they are precious and should be left in peace to live their own lives.
The Amish ask nothing from us but to be permitted to live their lives by their own code. They are not angels; they are just people, deeply committed to a way of life.
I am not the policeman of all the world; there is much cruelty, avarice, and corruption out there. The Amish are human beings, and human beings are not perfect.
And I am not God, empowered with the right to judge them.
To live the life they live requires sacrifice, discipline, even unconscious cruelty. I want to see them clearly and reflect on them honestly, but I don’t choose to attack them or walk away. It is so easy to crap on other people – just hit “send.”
I am not a perfect human, and I don’t expect to meet one in this world. People who judge other people from afar or from behind computers might look at their own faces on the screens right in front of them before they judge too quickly.
I will continue to write about the Amish and their lifestyle. I’m not deeply religious, but it does sometimes feel that God dropped them into my neighborhood for a reason.
I’m sorry, but I don’t believe in condemning people who live differently than I do. I didn’t like it when Donald Trump did it; I don’t like it when anybody does it.
It’s great you were blessed with new neighbors who became your friends. When you refer to your new friends as “Amish” or “The Amish,” it reads as if you support the notion that the wholesome, upstanding characteristics of your new friends (who happen to be Amish) are true of all Amish people. And for the animal lovers who have read about and seen the gruesome Amish puppy mill videos, your languaging leads them to believe you co-sign this behavior. Certainly, you can see how this would happen.
I don’t see how this would happen, actually Laurie, and have seen no evidence that it is happening. I’ve had a lot of dealings with the animal rights movement in my writing and I can say without hesitation that the Amish are much more truthful than many of those in the AR movement that I have encountered. I think my readers are quite sophisticated enough to understand that some Amish may abuse animals and my neighbors do not. I understand the sensitivity of the AR movement, but you are projecting onto reality. Up here, the farmers hide their cows in pastures out of sight of the road because every time they lie down, an animal rights “activist” calls the police and says they are being abused or are too weak to stand up. They don’t bother to learn that cows take naps.
I got to hear Saloma Furlong speak about Amish life at a public library near by and also purchased her book. If you ever get a chance to hear her speak it is very worth while.
I thought the book was impressive..
I enjoy meeting people who are different than me. This expands my heart and my mind. As with all things, it is dangerous to generalize. There is some truth to the criticisms that have been brought to your attention and those groups you compare them to, but that is true in all groups. I think it is best for all of us to do as you are doing – to get to know individuals and families and judge for ourselves how we feel about them. I, for one, enjoy reading about your friendship with your new neighbors, and appreciate how you are opening our eyes to a way of life we may never personally witness. As you wrote in your piece yesterday, there are so many folks who personally disappoint us. Why would we want to close ourselves off to folks who we feel a connection with? Kudos to you!
And to you Patti…
Up to now, your Amish posts have been a pure delight. This one is a downer.
Yes, that’s how life is sometimes… I don’t wish to always be cheerful…
Interesting. I was pleased with it, as it gives a more balanced picture. No culture is perfect. Knowledge is power.
Very insightful piece of writing. Every society or group of people will have detractors and supporters. They do live very differently from most of us, and I admire how they manage to live their lives in the way they do with the outside world swirling all around them. Members who want to leave the community are free to do so. They know what they are leaving if they choose that path. Amish don’t seem to hold people against their will, or abuse those that are different. I wonder if those who are so critical of the Amish are willing to look the other way at the abuses of gay, trans, people of color that are occurring with more frequency in our own culture. Don’t get me going on lying politicians, possible sex trafficking, and those who would take down our democracy by storming our capital on the big lie perpetrated by the former guy. When one sees the horrific things done to people in other societies, the criticism is even weaker. Saudi Arabia come to mind? A country we hardly criticize because they are supposedly important to our national interests. Human rights be damned. So don’t criticize the Amish. Accept them for how they choose to live. Those who live in glass houses…….
I agree whole heartily with Pamela Snyder’s reply. Jon, I really enjoyed this article. There’s so much to learn about other religions and cultures. Americans have become too comfortable criticizing anything that doesn’t fit into their narrow way of thinking. Thank you for your insight.
Thanks much..
I am curious how they mill all that lumber…without generators or electricity. It must have something to do with ‘horse power’ … please share if/when you know!
I think they use gas-powered saws…no electricity..
Jusr askin’, every time you post a photo of a horse and a horse pulled buggy they are standing in the middle of the yard somewhere still harnessed….Is this typical where they have to stand for hours hitched up like that…just wondering…..
Sally, I haven’t monitored their activity 24 hours, so I don’t know. There is a huge pasture in the back where the horses are kept (there is also a barn) when they are not working. When they are working or getting ready to work or go off the farm, they are brought out of their fenced-in pasture and harnessed. I don’t think it’s much more complicated than that. If you are inferring they are left day and night to stand in harness hitched up, please don’t play animal rights detective on my blog. I don’t like being used to monitor people.
This closing reminds me of your previous description ‘that God puts people in your path for a reason, and waits for you to figure it out! ( not word for word as you said it, but the idea is the same) …you were so on target with that quote!
Thank you…
Once again you opened my mind to seeing both sides of this. I’m like a curious detective wanting to hear the other side of a story because you know it’s there. A good writer will reveal it. Thanks. Now I know more than I did before.
That’s music to my ears, Linda, it’s the point..My job is to think and encourage others to think..where they end up is their choice, of course…Thank you..
Your are one of the best human being I ever met with a good sense for right and wrong .
Keep writing about every thing comes in your mind . As someone who knows you for many years you always look at both side and carefully choose your words in a fare way not to hurt any one way of life . It’s a great article and very interesting and informative.
Ariel, so good to hear from you, what a beautiful note, and what a beautiful person you are..Miss you..
“We constantly seek and find reasons to hate and judge one another.”. Seems the way of life now, Jon, just look at the tabloid, Daily Mail UK & US, kardashians displaying their bodies with next to nothing on, criticisms, salacious news reporting and if you look up the audience this tabloid is reaching, it says lower middle-class Englishwomen…Yikes…lower middle class mentality are they saying. The world’s going tit’s up to me these days, Trump contributed to a good part of it, but the internet allows for a lot of behaviour that is contributing to the dissolution of society in general. Keep on writing, cheery or not so cheery, It’s your blog, your right to say what you feel, people don’t have to read it if they don’t like it, others will.
Sandy Proudfoot, Ont., Canada ,
Keep writing Jon, bottom line is the Amish are like many other folks but tend to actually practice what is preached. For 26 years we have been close with our amish old order neighbors. Our half mile driveway goes thru their sheep pasture. I helped deliver 2 of their children. They brought me food and books when i brohe/fractured my arm & shoulder. Helped hubby with chores. They are wonderful honezt people. They are not perfect nor do they pretend their way of life is the best. It works for them. Its not for me, We coexist in harmony. The way life “should”be… So keep writing, enjoy the gift you’ve been given and to hell with the opinionated naysayers. You’re doing great ?
Nice, Sorrel, a timely message for the country as well…We are becoming the Intolerant Nation…
Thank you for writing your blog. I learn something new with each new one.
It matters not at all what I do or do not think of the Amish lifestyle, but I do wonder if by telling so much about them (interesting though it may be) you are not subjecting your local Amish families to the possibility of harassment and violence by others who apparently (based on your reporting of their comments) do read your blog and react negatively. It is, of course, your right to write. However, the Amish, themselves seem to prefer living quietly and not calling undue attention to themselves. I just hope your posts don’t result in something unfortunate,
Sheila, that is not something I am worried about or that they worry about. They trust in God to care for them. If I started up that path, I wouldn’t leave my study or write about anything but the weather. Walking across the street can be dangerous.
The Amish depend for their very existence on other people knowing who they are and where they are. That is how they raise the money they need to live – vegetables, woodwork, baked goods, lumber, raised garden beds, greenhouses. If people don’t know where they are and how to get to them, they can’t survive.
They come to the farm and see everything I write, and they are pleased someone is getting the word out about what they are doing. Like me, they do not choose to live in fear, from talking to outsiders to riding their dark carriages on busy roads and at night and not having phones in an emergency. They face much greater dangers than me all of the time.
I get a lot more death threats than they do (they don’t get any, since they don’t get e-mail or text messages). And yes, if writers stopped writing because people didn’t like what they write, our democracy would slide ride into the toilet. I don’t wish to live in a hermetic bubble, and neither do my Amish neighbors.
The Amish know what they are doing and so do I. There is always risk in living one’s life. The alternative is unacceptable to them, and to me. When writers stop calling undue attention to interesting people, we will be living in a barren space. To me, something that is the most unfortunate would be to be silenced because something bad might happen. Hope that helps. You don’t need to be afraid for us. That’s our job.
You’ve made great new friends with wonderful people. I’ve certainly enjoyed reading about the positive. I believe most have too.
I’d just ignore & delete the negative comments & move on.
Just my 2c.
Unfortunately, being offended and judging the lifestyle and morals of others has become a national pastime. On both the right and the left. Interestingly, those who are so quick to judge others become apoplectic if you should question or scrutinize their choices, beliefs, or lifestyles. So be it. I, too, live in Cambridge and have increasingly seen and heard the Amish about the village. Always friendly and cheerful, I’ve enjoyed our brief encounters. I helped Moise Miller load a dresser into his cart that a neighbor put out to the curb, and assured him that I’d give them his message that he’d be happy to pay for it when they got home (I did, and the neighbor had put it out hoping someone would take and use it). The judgements and vitriol I’ve read in the comments on your blog remind me of the same that I read and witnessed about another local group – the Twelve Tribe members who live at Common Sense Farm and in the village. Like you and your Amish neighbors, I spent much time with and among the “Common Sensers” and found them to be honest, happy, and hard working people; as well as the best of neighbors. There are tenets of their religious beliefs, like the Amish, that I don’t accept or follow; but I’m not about to become Presbyterian, either. But regardless of my beliefs about the beliefs of others, I can admire people who are steadfast in their faith, and who try their best to live it in their day-to-day lives. Would that I was that good of a Christian. I also remember (and remind others) that our Constitution guarantees that all Americans the right to follow their faiths and consciences. Keep doing what you are doing, you are on the right side of both history and humanity in judging others by their own actions and as individuals. And in not judging friends, which obviously the Amish have become for you. As noted, there are no padlocks or fetters on either the Amish or Common Senser’s homes, and those that wish to are free to do so. Those that choose to stay do so because they believe in who they are, where they are, why they are, and what they are doing. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the vast majority of unhappy and easily offended Americans could say the same…?
Thanks for your message, Time, it is especially thoughtful, fair, and timely. Accepting other people is the core of empathy and compassion, it is hard for people to do. If you met Moise, then you know him to be an honest and authentic human being. The people who love to post messages about how cruel some Amish seems to have no idea that it is unfair and even potentially harmful. So many “English” are cruel to animals, I’m not getting any messages about them. As you mentioned, anyone is welcome to go and see the farm for themselves, no one is turned away or treated coldly. You seem like someone well worth meeting. E-mail me if you can, [email protected] and thanks for your message and your perspective. The country badly needs it.
Thanks, Jon – watch for a quick email. And thanks for being a good Cambridge neighbor to ALL our neighbors!
Hi Jon, I finally have to write. If you attend an animal auction in NY state or PA, the only two I can speak about from experience you will see a very different side to the Amish. When I worked with humane societies I saw the disgusting, horrific conditions in which the Amish puppy millers kept the poor animals they sold. The horses, mules, and donkeys we get from the Amish almost always have scars and injuries from ill-fitting tack and for basically being worked into the ground; then rather than have them euthanized, or I’m fine with a bullet to the head if done correctly, they SELL the animal at auction to get another one. I have seen the Amish in PA with their horse slathered in sweat, doing a hard-working trot on the pavement in the heat of the day. The women are broodmares. They are at the discretion of the men. I try very hard not to stereotype any group, but the Amish IN MY EXPERIENCE, make that very difficult. I like to think of myself as open-minded. I have shopped at Amish vegetable stands in PA and met some lovely people, but speaking from experience, the majoriy are a pretty fucked up group.
Ann,I appreciate your message and am happy to share it. All I can tell you – for what seems like the 1,000th time this week – is that this family takes good and loving care of their dog and horses and they are not responsible for what other people do, Amish or otherwise.
I much appreciate the wonderful work you do on behalf of donkeys – I have been to those auctions also in my work with the carriage horses, and as a reporter – and they have little or nothing to do with Moise and his family. I see all kinds of people there, including some Amish.
Every time someone mentions what other Amish do, it invites someone to question my neighbors and their very humanity. It is actually dangerous and cruel to do that. All kinds of people abuse donkeys and horses and dogs. Moise and his family are not one of them. There are 350,000 Amish in the United States, I’m not sure you or I are qualified to tar or speak for the majority of them, that would be about 180,000 “fucked up” people.
I know five families and they treat their animals as one would wish, and better than most. In this country, we tend not to blame people for the crimes of others.
You are, of course, free to come and see for yourself.
I am enjoying your observations of Amish life. I think we all need to learn to treat each other as we would like to be treated.
The Amish view on gay people is identical to many who are conservative Christian. Personally, I don’t believe that being gay is incompatible with Christianity, as Jesus never condemned it. That was Paul, who condemned lots of things simply because he was reflecting the views of the society he lived in. (His views on women weren’t any better.) But I do wish that we wouldn’t condemn any group, including Christians, whatever color or sex. White male Christians are the new popular target of many people, and that is just as wrong as ridiculing any other group, in my opinion.
Good point, Ann, I’ve been guilty of that myself. Mostly, I condemn the Christian Nationalists, not all Christians for sure.
I find the Amish fascinating, interesting, and very human people who strive to live by their beliefs as honestly as they can. Something I have never been able to understand, though, is why they shun those family members who no longer want to be Amish. Sure, they never prevent anyone from leaving… except that those who leave know it’s a serious goodbye, where they will never be welcome to come home, even to visit, ever again. Has this changed in recent years, or do the families you know act otherwise? I actually find their way of life something to emulate in many ways -but their code of forgiveness does not seem to extend to family members who left the faith. Of course, I myself have religious family members who claim to be Christian and supposedly forgiving, who are incapable of understanding any other point of view, much less forgiving anyone, so I know it’s not “just” Amish by any stretch. How do the Amish families you know deal with that hypocrisy? Or, as will gay folks, do they just not “know” any? Thanks, if you have time and inclination to answer.
Sherry thanks for your thoughtful comments. I can’t speak for all the Amish, I haven’t really studied the issue, I gather that some Amish are loose about kids leaving, and some are not. There is no one Amish theology, there are old Amish and new Amish and a lot of different theologies in the middle. Tight-knit families are central to the Amish survival, and I think they simply have not made room to accommodate those who leave, but I can’t speak to the overall culture. The farm is central and sacred to these people, and those who leave do not seem to have a place in that.
Jon, Thank you for writing, and sorry for the heat some are sending your way. We tend to make “all” statements based on the one or few. And those generalizations are seldom true – except for the one or few. All men are not the same. Nor all whites. All Americans. Or all Christians (in fact, i no longer claim to be one due to the actions of many – instead i just say i am a believer). No group is universally good, or perfect so you may find some doing things we don’t like. Or that some future group won’t like. In some ways, the Amish are even harder to pigeon-hole than most, since each church district is unique, with it’s own Ordnung (rules). There’s much i admire about the Amish and wish i could accept living under their strictures. i don’t agree with all their teachings or practices – but that’s also true for EVERY other group out there (and sometimes i’m not even sure i agree with me!). Some communities would be politely friendly towards you if they had to interact, but would go out of their way to avoid you. Others participate some in the social fabric of the neighborhoods amongst which they live. What i find most interesting among the detractors is that they want the Amish to “be free” and “to be themselves,” but only if that fits the detractors’ definition of “free” and who they should be. If the Amish CHOOSE differently, then they are enslaved, evil, brainwashed… Do all women want to have children? No. Does that mean that no woman SHOULD want to? No!
You and others talk about how free they are to leave, which is true. But isn’t entirely. i’ve been in a cult (NOT saying the Amish are though!!). Every aspect of our lives was tied back into the cult and under the direction of its leaders. You wouldn’t only be leaving the cult but EVERYTHING. And “the world” is so alien, at least at first, that it’s scarier to leave than to stay. In that, there is SOME similarity to Amish life.
Sorry for being long-winded. i’ll close by saying “thank you for being a good neighbor to the Amish, so they’ll see that not all English are horrible people.” Keep living, loving, and writing! God didn’t stamp us all out with one cookie cutter – but made us each unique, by Hand!
Loved your article! Found it while researching information on gay Amish. I thought your comments were fair and objective. Of course there are bad apples in every group, but any reasonable person judges a person on who “they” are, not based on the actions of a few. I’m glad you have shared your honest experiences with the Amish you have met – it gives others the courage and permission to reach out to those different than themselves making the world a much better place!
Love this article , and as a gay man, have thought about joining this community , though I already know I wouldn’t be accepted for that reason, but wondered if there are gay Amish communities. That’s what brought me to your article. The people who criticize your article really need to rethink what they write as everything they accuse the Amish of being and doing…are the same issues we face in every day American life by the thousands more… I love how the mainstream folk are the biggest hypocrites like the majority of this sad country. I absolutely love and admire the lifestyle of the Amish. We can and will learn a lot from them. Especially in the future when it comes to survival, if the mainstream world continues on its current path. Again I loved reading this. Keep up the good writing .