26 March

I Bought A Necklace From Delilah

by Jon Katz

(Twice a year, during communion services, the Old Order Amish church members get down on their knees and, with their bare hands dipping into a bucket of warm water, wash the feet of another Amish person of the same gender.”) – from Amish Peace, by Suzanne Wood Fisher.

I went over to the Amish farm today to drop off some more books, and Maria came to buy some cookies and cake for her mother, who she is visiting tomorrow.

Moses came by pulling his three-horse plow and met Maria, and we agreed to come to visit one another.  Moses is especially interested in our dogs and donkeys.

He asked what work Zinnia did, and I tried to explain her therapy work. I asked Moses to tell me more about how he trained his horses, and he shrugged and said they just seemed to pick up what they needed to go.

Wow.

Looking at the baked goods stand, I saw some necklaces that caught my eye.

Delilah said they cost $3 a piece and I bought one. I asked if I could photograph the family transport, and Moses said yes, of course.

I like the idea of having the necklace as a connection, the Amish themselves don’t believe in adornments like necklaces. I am touched by the plain lives of my new neighbors.

Another way to live, a stone’s throw away.

Delilah is a proud member of our little Amish Children’s Reading Group, she loves the books I’ve been dropping off, and I asked her to let me know which ones stood one.

Moses invited me into the temporary house they built, and I saw 20 people – adults and children – gathered for lunch. I met his wife, and then I left.

 

The cart goes by our farmhouse several times a day and night. Sometimes in the dark – there are no highway lights on our road –  I tremble a bit at the sound of the cart on that busy highway, where people often speed.

I’ve seen those giant trucks roar by at awfully high speeds. The carriage lights are faint and small. I can’t believe how calm their horses remain as those huge trucks roar by just inches from them.

It’s not my place to talk to them about it; they know the dangers. They are committed to their way of life.

I don’t care for people who send me warnings all the time, and I don’t want to be one of them. People have to make their own decisions.

I’m interested in learning what I can from the Amish, specifically their gentleness and simplicity.

I’ve had trouble with my bike and my car; I will pray for them.

Maria, buying cookies and zucchini bread.

18 Comments

  1. I know I don’t have to read your blog. I’ve tried to keep my opinions to myself. I expect you’re going to yell at me and I’ll feel bad and wish I’d kept quiet. But it’s been bothering me since it started. Reality shows, blogs need content. Do your new Amish neighbors understand how their privacy is being breached? If they don’t have internet. It’s creeping me out honestly. Be friends, just don’t use them. Sorry.

    1. Terry, you’re entitled to your opinion, I appreciate your honesty. But you are not my child, it’s not for me to yell at you. How does one do that online?

      I very much enjoy writing about my new neighbors and they are very aware of my interest and my writing and seem happy to see me. I am completely honest with them and very happy to see them.

      If they showed any signs of discomfort, I would, of course, stay far away. They have repeatedly invited me to visit them and plan to visit me and Maria, they have never expressed worry about their privacy. They know about everything I write. It is not true that Amish people never go on the Internet. Their work and businesses require someone in almost every family to go online for good reasons.

      Writing about interesting people in my life is what I do for a living and I believe many people are learning from it and enjoying it, as I am, judging by the response. You are the very first to suggest I am creepy for doing so. I have never had a problem filling my blog with content, and have no shortage of things to write about. You seem to assume exploitation, which is hurtful to me.

      The Amish are well known for their enduring friendships with the “English” and frequently agree to be interviewed, photographed, and written about.

      That doesn’t mean you are wrong, but it doesn’t ring true to me, or fair. I really treasure my connection with this family, as a neighbor but also as a writer. I have no apologies to make for that. I am pleased that Moses and I seem to be friends.

      And I don’t intend to stop. I am planning on learning as much as I can from these fascinating people and their culture and share it with my readers, as writers are supposed to do, and as I live to do. If they ask me to go away, I will vanish in a blink.

      Personally, I don’t read things that disturb me, but that isn’t my decision either. Your choice. I’m sorry my writing is “creeping you out,” but not very. I’m not sorry you are speaking your mind and you have no reason to be sorry either. That’s what free speech and thought are about. The subject of privacy has always been important to me, as you probably know.

      1. Not creepy at all! Keep on writing. I enjoy the stories as I know almost nothing about the Amish. Your writing is gentle and kind, just the way you describe them. You are there for a reason.

    1. Not for me to do that, Robert, they know how to take care of themselves and should be given room to make their own choices.

  2. Jon do they have large reflective signs on the back of their buggies? In other Amish areas I have seen this.

  3. Jon,
    Your “Maria buying cookies and zucchini bread” photo captures a lovely moment—the beauty of different folks simply sharing food. Thank you.

    1. Thanks LG, I loved the way that photo framed itself – the modern versus the timeless and as you suggest, the beauty in people selling food. My Amish neighbors are giving me many lovely moments.

  4. I am curious. Your Amish friends seem not to have issues with you photographing them. I have always been under the impression that they did not want to be photographed. Something about being humble before God. I am a plein air painter. A friend of mine recommended I go to her Amish friends farm to paint their barn. Frannie has a outdoor selling shed where she sells baby quilts, jam, bread, and great veggies in season. I asked when I arrived if I could paint on the property. I told her I would not paint people. She gave me permission, after I got some bread and jam. I also gave her one of my Sharpie pens because she said she could not label the jars because her pen was lost. “What will I be owing you.?”, she asked, I gave it to her. Nothing I told her. I painted there for about 4 hours, beautiful Amish barn. The yard was alive with the children doing Saturday chores. Wagons moving hay, a buck board with a two year old on it clinging for dear life, a cow meandering around looking for the rest of the herd. And no flys. There is a huge Martin house on the property. They all vanished around 1 to eat lunch and then returned to work, but not before surrounding my easel. “Oh you been practicing.” The compliment. So I can paint with words but not in the painting, the vivid day of all that industry happening before my eyes. So I was just curious… Frannies Barn is the name of the painting and not a soul is in the painting.

    1. Diane, there are many different strains in the Amish world. They don’t all follow the same practices any more than Catholics or Jews do. For some reason, people think they are monolithic.

      The Old Amish feel strongly about not having their faces captured in pictures. Many in the New Amish are happy to be photographed as long as they are asked. Most don’t want their faces shown close-up.

      It’s really very simple. I never take a photo of anyone, Amish or otherwise, without permission. I don’t try to take pictures close-up of the Amish or that shows their faces, as you may have noticed.
      As a reporter I often photographed Amish families, I just had to check in with the Bishop first.

      As to my neighbors, I told them I would love to photograph their horses and carts from a distance (they don’t care about the horses being photographed any time at any distance.) I’ve asked at least seven adults and all have agreed to let me take any photos I want, just not of their faces or not close-up. I don’t take photos of Amish children at all unless it’s from a great distance and with permission of them and their parents and their faces are in no way recognizable. There is also this: anyone can take a photo of anyone on the road or in public spaces. I don’t choose to do it that way.

      People often tell the Amish to have no access to the Internet. That is also false. In many Amish families, one adult is given permission to use the Internet if it is important for their work or health or other good reason. I’ve even shown a couple of my blog posts on their computers so they can see what I am doing. It is not an autocratic or iron-fisted culture, they bend and bow when they need to in order to survive, and they are very gracious and kind. They won’t drive, but they will ride in a car, for example, especially in an emergency.

      In exchange for this access, I agree to sometimes drive them and their families to train or bus stations if they need to travel or receive visitors.

      I never take out a camera anywhere near any of them on a Sunday.

      I’m suspect you could get approval for a painting if you did it a certain way and explained why it was important. Thank you for your story, I’d love to see your painting. There are tons of books with pictures of Amish people in them, you can find them on Amazon. Thanks for your story, I loved it.

  5. I’m wondering if Washington County could put up road signs. I’ve seen special horse and buggy signs up in other areas that have an Amish population. Maybe giving fair warning to drivers would help decrease the chances of accidents. It is lovely that all of that wonderful farm land will be put to use.

    1. They have put up numerous road signs since the Amish came warning about horse carriages on the road..

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