Everything in the modern world, in almost any city or suburb, seems calculated to keep us from entering into ourselves and thinking about spiritual things.
A spiritual person gets exhausted by the constant beeps and rings and notifications of smartphones and numbed by the noise of machines, horns, sirens, loudspeakers, the glare of lights off offices and shops, the never-ending barrage of ads and sales and pleadings and propaganda.
My year up on the mountain reading Thomas Merton did change my life, it was the first experience of real meditation that I have. Up here in the country, I found and felt the peace that I had never known, I meditated every morning, sometimes in the evening.
Merton turned out to be a wonderful guide. I listen to him still.
I looked right into my soul.
Merton was right, our whole lives are meditations, but only the last decision really matters.
For me, meditation is a search for grace.
This morning, I went outside to stand in the quiet and watch the donkeys eat their morning hay. There is something profoundly spiritual about these animals, they exude a calm and wisdom that grounds me.
The sound of them chewing their hay is a meditation unto itself.
Before meditating today, I went and read this guidance from Merton:
We must approach our meditation realizing that ‘grace,’ ‘mercy,’ and ‘faith’ are not permanent inalienable possessions which we gain by our efforts and retain as though by right, provided that we behave ourselves. They are CONSTANTLY RENEWED GIFTS. The life of grace in our hearts is renewed from moment to moment, directly and personally.
Sometimes, after meditation, I pray, at least I see it as praying.
Prayer does not blind me to the world, but it changes my vision of the world. I pray in “spirit and truth,” and this enables me to connect at times to my idea of infinite love, that freedom that helps me to cut through the complexities of human existence and feel so human.
I have no tricks or secrets about my meditation, it is a spiritual grace that can only come to me as a gift, not as the result of my own cleverness or techniques. I can’t judge the value of my meditation by how I feel. There is no right and no wrong. Only what is.
A hard and cold meditation can be more valuable to me than one that is easy and full of feeling. At the Mansion, Gina, who meditated with me for the first time in her 78 years asked me what the trick was for meditating well.
“Gina,” I said, “the trick is that there are no tricks. It comes when you are open to it. There is no wrong, and no right. Just you.”
Merton wrote that while no one wants to be beginners in meditation, we will never be anything else but beginners, all of our lives.
In recovery, we are taught that we will continue to progress, based upon the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Maintenance is something that needs to be done daily. We don’t reach a pinnacle of spirituality and are then done doing what brought us there. There’s no certificate of completion. Yes, prayer changes the one who’s praying, and by proxy, can change the world. We cannot pour from an empty vessel. So, meditation, prayer, whatever thing we use to connect to our Source is how we fill our own vessel. It’s never anyone else’s job to see to it that we are full. It’s our job. Reading your blog is one of the ways I fill my cup!
I make time each day, however brief, for prayer and meditation. Sometimes my prayers are as simple as “thank you God” or “please help me”. I sometimes describe prayer as talking to my God, and meditation as deep listening. I have sitting meditation, walking meditation, and guided meditation to choose from according to my need.
Prayer and meditation help to steady me during turbulent times, along with your blog, As the Road Wanders, and Richard Rohr’s daily email. I have needed it all this year! I am feeling blessed to have these resources. Thank you Jon. And thank you for the photos of the donkeys and sheep – wise teachers!