In all of my 72 years on the earth, I have never walked naked outside of the bathroom or shower in any home I’ve ever lived in.

That is, until last night.

I grew up in a conservative, almost Calvinist kind of house, there was no cursing, no nudity, no discussions of the body.

But I have to be honest, I felt uncomfortable my body ever since I was mistreated when I was young.  Abuse can do that. And my bedwetting didn’t help. I started body shaming early.

As I get older, it also seems unseemly to me to show my body to people. Life is rough enough without subjecting others to that. I think old men need to keep their dignity and know where they are. I am aware that is not necessarily a healthy position.

When I got together with Maria, I was terrified of her seeing me naked, I expected her to run screaming from the room. But she is crazy enough to think I’m good looking.

Maria is an elfin kind of sprite, she walks around barefoot and in shorts and T-shirts, but she too is wary of being naked, of showing her body to people. That’s why her belly dancing was such a big deal for her. I hadn’t seen her stomach in daylight for years.

She has no qualms about that now.

I refuse to wear shorts or sandals, or even short sleeve shirts. I think the less people see of my body the better off we all are.

Over the weekend it was close to 100 degrees. I take a lot of medications for my heart disease and diabetes and high heat and humidity can trigger debilitating side effects.

In that kind of heat, I suffer, I need to be in air conditioning for much of the day. I wear polo shirts, but that’s my only concession to the heat.

Maria stayed with me for a few hours, it was too hot out even for her. I read and slept and wrote on the blog.

I felt for the dogs, their tongues were hanging down to the ground, even Fate didn’t want to move. The donkeys and the sheep don’t seem to mind, the heat drove the barn cats deep into the haystacks on the barn.

In the evening, we came downstairs to eat, and I had this sudden impulse, which both frightened and shocked me. “Would you mind if I took most of my clothes?, ” I asked. “I feel clammy and uncomfortable.”

Of course, she said. Maria is always telling me my clothes are too heavy, she is always suggesting I take my shoes and socks off, even my shirt.

I always refused.

The idea seemed shocking, impossible for me. I didn’t want her to see me walking around the house undressed. I knew this was my problem, not hers, but there it was.

But it was very hot. And I was seeing the rigidity in my stance. Old Fartism is a dread disease, and to avoid it, I have to be willing to change.

She said I should, and so I did, And I didn’t stop. Except for my underwear, I was walking around the house in daylight naked for the first time in my life.

“Good for you,” said Maria laughing. I noticed she wasn’t getting undressed.

Maria thought it was great for me, she seemed genuinely pleased. I was touched that anyone could love me that much. And worried this could change everything.

It felt great, I stopped sweating and a nearby fan cooled me down, we sat across from one another and after a few minutes, I forget I had no clothes on. Maria stayed dressed, but she doesn’t really wear all that much, and I didn’t want to put any pressure on her.

Besides, I didn’t care, this was about me, not her. If she wanted to do it, she would have. I had no need of her getting naked too, she is still shy about her very beautiful body.

I can’t imagine being naked on a normal day, I would not be comfortable. And I wouldn’t want to be seen by anyone except Maria. I can’t imagine writing naked (I have sometimes run outside naked to get a photo in the morning, but I always rushed inside.)

This felt like a big deal to me, though. I sat down and read with hardly any clothes on. I felt strong, free, liberated. Finally, I thought, I am getting comfortable about who I am, and learning to trust people who love me.

After a few minutes, it didn’t seem like a big deal at all. We talked and ate as we usually did, and Zinnia came over and started licking my legs, which tickled.

What was moral about heavy jeans and winter shirts when it’s 100 degrees?

One reason I did it is that I trust Maria and her love for me. She seems to find me attractive. I can hardly believe it, but this trust enabled me to take my clothes off when I was so uncomfortable and get comfortable.

I called my friend Christine, the actress, on Monday and I told her I had gotten naked Sunday and loved it.

“Good for you,” she said. Once again, a mirror of me and my issues. Something I had feared doing for seven decades turned out not to be much of a big deal at all.