Over the past ten years, my idea of health care has been turned upside down, along with everyone else’s. I have to say my health care has been very good. I even like my insurance company.

I’ve mostly dealt with Nurse Practitioners, who work closely with doctors.

And I’ve mostly avoided male doctors, although I know they are competent. I just don’t communicate easily with most of them, and that has become important to me.

Open Heart Surgery is a kind of rebirth and awakening. Communication matters.

I haven’t actually been examined by or consulted with a family practitioner (other than specialists) in a decade, not even through my experience with diabetes or heart disease.

The Pandemic has changed my health care even further. My NP, Amy Eldridge and I, talk mostly by video conference right now. I think that will be permanent for most visits.

I am grateful to have a health care practitioner like her.

I’ve had two NP’s who have been a tremendous help to me.

Karen Bruce, who I wrote about (she was a student in my writing class for a while) and was always honest and direct with me. She cared and was never afraid to scare the wits out of me to get my attention.

Amy Eldridge has been my NP for six months now, we did a video chat this morning. As I’ve written, the women NP’s I have worked with are different from the men I used to work with.

They are direct, tough when necessary, empathetic when needed. I feel a particular connection with Amy, we talk easily and openly. At first, it felt strange talking to a woman about urinating, constipation, diabetes, food, and medications.

But not as strange as talking to a man who gave me the latest data and left the room.

I’ve found the best health care practitioners always leave me feeling healthier and knowledgeable after we talk. They get down to the nut of things quickly. None of them ever have a lot of time, but they gloss right over whining and get down to business.

I always feel they know me as a person as well as a patient, and they use that to strategize about keeping me healthy. They don’t hesitate to smack me upside the head when necessary, Amy is especially gifted at straightening me out gently.

Karen, who became a good friend, was especially blunt. When I tried to tell her my shortness of breath was due to asthma, she cursed and chewed me out and sent me to the hospital for open-heart surgery.

She often threatened me with ruin if I didn’t control my diabetes well,  I nearly cried when she told me I was the most conscientious diabetes patient she had ever had.

I can’t imagine Amy cursing at me. But she is very much in command, as she should be. I am a battered man. I don’t need to be in charge.

We had a short follow-up video session. We talked about staying grounded amid trouble, we went over my diet, my sleeping, my peeing, my medicine. The cortisone I took for my knees send my blood sugars on a wild ride, we are working at sorting that out.

It is comfortable for me to be at home, to not have to drive a half-hour each way, to not have to sit in a waiting room. I wouldn’t want it to be the only way I ever interact with my NP, but for now, and for routine decisions, it feels very good.

I really like the way she strategies, health care is a little like chess to me, my body makes a move, I make a move. One day, checkmate, but in the meantime, I stay in the game.

Amy is comfortable with video conferencing.

I’m always a bit shy around doctors and nurses, and I think Amy is a little shy around people. I wouldn’t want never want to see  Amy in the flesh again, but I think video conferencing makes both of us easy.

She was in her office, I was sitting on the back porch looking out at the pasture.

My health marks the passage of time, and as I get older, my body gets more complicated and needs more thought, more pills, more discussion. I don’t mind getting older, but I understand the need for more maintenance.

Since the Pandemic began, I started ordering pies, cookies, and other sugar-laden things for desert. I had small portions, and my numbers were very good.

But I talk with Amy about it and she gently but firmly guided me away from pies and cookies and into healthier deserts for me, like stewed fruit and some other good ideas.

She got me to wake up and realize those are not things I should be eating, low numbers or not. I got the message. I’ve had no trouble over the years avoiding sugar completely.

I’ll have no trouble doing it again. I see I was perhaps more anxious these past few months than I realized. After all, I am an OMAR (Old Man At Risk).

My writing about politics has been stressful also. I love it, but it draws a lot of negative energy. It is very good to have a nurse I can talk to about that in so easy and non-stressful away.

I felt so good when we got off of our short conference. I felt I was dealing directly with my health and taking responsibility for it, and that I was not alone.

I felt known and cared for, and I understand that is a rare and difficult thing to find these days. But for me, health care is about having someone to call when you need to.

I am aware very few people in our country can have that gift. I appreciate it.

I feel health care is a two-way street. I want my health care practitioners to know me, but I also have a responsibility to understand them.

I need to be honest, and I need to listen as well as talk. I think like anything else, once you get past grievance and whining and lament, you get back what you give.

And I get a lot.