“Do all the good you can, By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can, In all the places you can,
At all the times you can, To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.”
― John Wesley, On The Life Of A Christian
I feel closer to Christianity than I do to any other faith, but being me, it can’t be that simple.
I converted to Quakerism when I was a teenager – but I am not a Christian, I was born Jewish but could never quite embrace that faith or come to terms with it.
I follow the teachings and inspiration of Christ, but I do not worship him as the son of God or accept him as my savior.
So I’m not a Christian, period. The thing I always loved about the Quakers is that they worship mostly in silence, and nobody has ever to told me what I must believe, think, or say.
“You walk the walk of a Christian,” one of my blog readers wrote to me the other night. Once in a while, maybe, I walk a bunch of different walks.
After many years of contemplation and thought, I decided that I had to be my own savior, I needed to stop putting that on other people and things. I believe he would understand, it seems to me he went his own way.
I’ve done better as my savior than in searching for one.
Faith does not eliminate questions, it just keeps raising them. One of the things I loved about Thomas Merton is that he doubted his own faith until the day he died.
And he was a Trappist Monk who often lived in a hermitage. Doubt, he wrote, was the point.
In my experience, people who don’t doubt don’t think much. Just look at the constipated minds of the left and the right.
I’ve worn a cross on and off for years, I wear one now (above photo), from a church in New Mexico). The great Christian writer C.S. Lewis did not approve of my position, he said it was patronizing nonsense:
“I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him (Jesus): I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.”
Hmmm…I think I’d rather just read about him.
I respect and admire C.S. Lewis, but one thing I learned about faith – and my primary issue with organized religion – is that no one can tell anyone else how to find their faith or their idea of God. I never do well with people who tell me what I must or must not say.
The minute I join any institution they start telling me what to think.
The truly great thinkers never say what Lewis wrote, it would be heresy to them. Thinking can’t be corralled in that way, or shouldn’t be.
Dogma is heresy to me, I just can’t get past it, is much like the left and the right. It kills thought and dialogue and freezes the mind.
Faith is, like a fingerprint, intensely personal and individual. I do not believe there is only one way to do anything in this world, let alone worship a God.
I accept that the very definition of a Christian is to accept Christ the savior, that takes the heat off of me. I am not one.
But the truth is I do accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, and I am aghast at the hypocrites who exploit his name, to advance political agendas, live greedy lives and turn their backs on the poor and vulnerable.
His vision of the Compassionate Life, built on helping others, has shaped a good part of my life, especially now.
The Christianity I am drawn to celebrates love – of people, Jesus, and God. It calls us to be compassionate, to reach out to the poor, to treat other people gently and lovingly.
My good friend Sue Silverstein, who embodies the idea of Christian compassion for me, said one day I would make a good Catholic.
But wait a minute, I said, the Catholic dogma suggests I’m heading straight to Hell. Well, she said, things are changing…Maybe.
I know I am not there, but I also know I am getting there, I am on the path. I just don’t know where the path goes. I’m beginning to think I am pretty close to where I am headed.
This idea of true Christianity is why real Christians were so offended when President Trump waved the New Testament over his head while his Palace Guard gassed and shoved people off of the streets. Jesus was not about gassing people.
The Evangelical millionaires touting Jesus and making money out of real estate deals and political influence are traitors to Jesus, as I understand them. They better pray he doesn’t come back. And Trump better keep his Bible in Ivanka’s house.
Frederick Nietzsche said there was only one Christian and he died on the cross. I think there may be some truth to that.
Lewis wrote of his faith: “I have come home at last! This is my real country. I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all of my life, though I never knew it till now…” I hope to someday experience that joy of coming home.
John Wesley is closer to the pure Christianity that I believe in and try to practice, even if I can’t worship it. Do all the good you can, by any means, for as long as you can.
You don’t have to be good to do good.
My faith issues relating to Christianity are not really resolvable, I understand that. There is nowhere for me to go.
But I continue to draw wisdom and guidance from the Christian thinkers who seem to have continued the real spirit and message of Christianity, and yes Christ.
I am destined – and content with – being an almost Christian, a quasi-Christian. They don’t need to send me off to Hell, I’m not in the system.
“The real trap, however, is self-rejection,” wrote Henri J. Nouwen, one of my favorite spiritual thinkers.
“As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody.” … My dark side says, I am no good… I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved.” Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.”
I totally agree with your viewpoint. I was raised a Catholic, then discovered meditation and Buddhist practices. These were closer to my heart’s truth.
I’m a Christian, but I have to completely disagree with what C.S. Lewis said. I think everyone is free to see Jesus however they wish to. If one faith worked for everyone, there wouldn’t be so many different belief systems and religions in the world. We all have to find our own way forward, I think.
I wonder if those who never doubt their faith are actually truthful with themselves? I agree with you about Jesus being a great teacher. He asks us not to judge. I’m forever working on that one! I made it a quest to keep on keeping on with my spirituality. It’s a puzzle I’m always working on. Your words added a few pieces to it. Thanks.
I agree with Ann…Just a thought: you might consider the Episcopal version of Christianity–their belief is that everyone is welcome–welcome to accept communion even if you aren’t an Episcopalian–just welcome to come to church. I’ve been an Episcopalian all of my life, but I have researched other religions and found attractive ideas in each one, I like Buddhism and Taoism, I finally decided to go back to the Episcopal way–the via media (the middle way). Granted, there are some that do not accept the current policies of the Church (like accepting homosexuality love and even marriage–love is love). However, there are many churches that are trying to do what Jesus says. Our Presiding Bishop is Bishop Curry, who spoke at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding. His main message is “just love, ” because that was Jesus’s message. We have similar pomp and circumstance as the Catholics (but they won’t allow you to receive the Eucharist because you don’t believe like they do, unless you do-which bothers me–everybody should be welcome at the Lord’s Table). Anyway, I’ve held back every time you mentioned not being a Christian–you act like a Christian, you talk like one, “what walks like a duck, etc.” I often feel that way, too, but I keep on trying, but I do find that if I step into the “flow” and call upon Jesus to help me. He always does. How does that happen? I don’t know. But I’m still an Episcopalian, trying to walk the Christian walk. [I’m sorry if I got too preachy and offended anybody.] Sent with my love.