I went to Battenkill Books this morning to inscribe the 37 books I’m buying for Bishop Maginn’s 2020 graduates.
The school is desperately trying to put a graduation ceremony together for their seniors, whose school year was disrupted by the coronavirus Pandemic and also the looting and disturbances in Albany, where many refugees live and work.
Some got sick, some lost their businesses and jobs. Families are going hungry.
Signing the books, I was so moved by the names I was inscribing, there it was, the great American Melting Pot, the kinder country, the one that opened our doors and hearts to the needy and vulnerable and gave them safe and meaningful lives beyond their imagination.
The names were a song to me, the song of the real America, the kinder one, the one we will get back in time.
I wanted to reprint the names from the piece of paper I used to sign the books this morning. Really, I wanted to cry.
If you say them aloud, you might want to cry also.
Osama Abdul Halimi; Anastasia Abram- Skinner; Olivia Amedio; Than Than Aye; Maria Bernardino; Julia Bernadino; Gay Blue; TaJenae Bunch; DaJenea Bunch; Ce Ce Cecchetto; Maya Clarke; Crismary Constante De Luna; O’Zaria Courtwright; Tamia Cousins; Ishanah Fraser; Hassani Hamilton; Christer Htoo; Pedro Inga; Mee Ka; Michael Marcellus, Giavanna McConney; Madeline McTigue; Joshua Miller; Blair Moo; June Moo, Uwamarhoro Muhorakeye (Peace); Martina Paliotta; Taisha Porter; Mue Lay Pow; Christer Say; Gabriel Silverstein; Eh Thaw Soe; Thang Trinh; Anthony Verdichizzi; Hser Nay Wan; Ethan Patrick Whiteley; Salomi Willingham-Rivera.
I love seeing those names. Our new citizens, our very proud graduates.
In the messages, I’m speaking to them. I tell them that I’m sending these books to congratulate all of them, and also wish that they navigate their stars and following their dreams. I know them to be brave, honest, loyal, and good-hearted.
Please know, I told them, that I and the people who work with me to support you are always here for you. I and Maria and Zinnia will be on hand at your graduation to give you these books ourselves. You’ve been through a lot. Things will get better, you will help America to keep its wonderful promise to the world. Thanks for the existing and trusting and keeping the faith.
And thanks to my friend Connie Brooks for guiding me to this book, and for Jesmyn Ward for writing it. Keep it on hand for the dark times, it will lead you to light.
We have been supporting these children and their families all year and recently with gift cards for food, and for books and school supplies and computers, books, and microphones.
I was asked to provide support for the graduation ceremony and have been sending sashes, pins, badges, caps, baby candy jars and customized stylus/ballpoint pens, all custom made and engraved.
Since they lost much of their graduation year, I am happy to at least provide, thanks to Jesmyn Ward and the Army Of Good, a special book for a special ceremony, most likely to be held in the Albany Cathedral in the next month or so, health issues and state regulations permitting.
The crown jewel in my graduation package – suggested by Connie of Battenkill Books – is Ward’s wonderfully inspiring book, Navigate Your Stars, which was inspired by the amazing speech she gave at Tulane University’s commencement.
I am familiar with Jesmyn Ward, she is a brilliant writer and artist.
I gave a lot of people, including my writing students, her National Book Award-winning novel, Where the Line Bleeds, Salvage the Bones. I also gave a number of these novels to black writing students in several schools I volunteered at where there were minorities and refugees.
I wrote on my blog that I would inscribe the book with a message of congratulation – these are mostly refugee and inner-city kids who have lots of trouble to overcome.
Her message is perfect for them and badly needed now.
The book is about encouragement and empowerment. Ward herself has been through a lot and fought hard to get to her success. She also creates imagery for a number of magazines.
Since Jesmyn and I share the same publisher, Simon & Schuster, I let them know I was buying the books and inscribing them, which is common in publishing when people buy books for people.
Bookstores do it all the time, I am often asked to inscribe books other people request when they are not able to do it themselves if I am purchasing them. I write these inscriptions in my name, not theirs, there is no question about identity.
The people who get these gifts want to know who sent them and read any appropriate messages because the author isn’t always there. We authors love to have people buy our books and we love to hear about it when they do.
An assistant let her know, and she wrote to thank me.
I never heard of any author complaining about somebody buying 37 of their books as gifts and inscribing them with their names, not the authors. No one could possibly mistake me for Jesmyn Ward, and these kids could not ever have afforded to buy her books.
And no one has ever tried to tell me what I could and couldn’t write in them. But then, these are unusual times.
The school was delighted, so were their teachers, in fact, they were the ones who asked me to sign the books, they thought the kids ought to know where they came from.
My happy post was not up for a minute before I got this message sent to my blog:
“This is my first time commenting on your blog, but with everything going on in-country, I feel the need to speak up. I am an African American woman, like the author of this book. I am profoundly offended that you, a white male, are going to sign these books. That honor belongs to the author alone. What makes you think you can claim her experience? You mean well, but what you are doing is patronizing and racist. By all means, give the book, but have the decency not to sign it. It isn’t yours.”
The post made me furious, especially in a week when a Minnesota police officer was accused of murdering a black man who was pleading for nearly nine minutes for the officer to get his knee off his neck so he could breathe. He died minutes later.
It was quite clear to me that the sender came to me from Facebook and had never read a word of my blog. People often disagree with me, but very rarely in that tone and so cruelly.
I found the message hurtful and unthinking. Calling somebody profoundly racist at any time is rough, it is especially cruel and offensive now. To accuse me of stealing the author’s work because I am a white male was equally shocking.
And I never presumed to claim her experience, the whole point was to celebrate her experience and share it with people who needed to hear it. That is not theft.
I didn’t respond well, I’m sorry to say, but I did respond honestly. Was this the conversation on race we needed to hear?
I wish I could patiently and instantly open a dialogue with someone who offended me so deeply, but I am not there yet.
Her feeling was that as an African-American writer herself, she deserved to be heard no matter what she said. And I was not entitled to write anything in an African-American writer’s book.
I was not in a mood to listen to that, not this week. It felt like a new kind of racial profiling to me, and if one kind is bad, why is another good?
I was sorry to get into this right now, I am feeling so good about these students and the nice graduation we are helping to provide for them. And I agree that this is a time to listen to African-Americans, not to pretend racism is something done by anyone other than us.
We battled for a day or two and I deleted all of the posts. She kept insisting I was wrong, and would not talk about how I felt about it.
They made me heartsick.
Perhaps we both learned something about how to not have a conversation about race. And also about how much we need to have honest conversations about race.
Her comments hurt me and briefly clouded what I think is one of the nicest things we could possibly do for these kids, especially now. The teachers all agreed with me. That’s why they suggested my doing it.
If my inscription was “profoundly racist,” then what is the killing of young black men by the police? And if the death of George Lloyd was profoundly racist, and I was profoundly racist, where do we go from there?
So I’ll leave it there, and let it go.
Conversations about race are important and necessary. It is also necessary to show respect to the people we are talking to, and listening to. I think black people know this better than anyone.
I didn’t do that, neither did she. I said her message was dumb. And I still think so. I offered to talk with her and a friend of hers who was defending her. Neither one accepted the offer.
For centuries, it seems our country has not been able to have this urgent conversation, this round is already degenerating into the usual he-said, she-said bullshit from the brain dead warriors of the left and the right. I just about fell into it myself.
Led by our divisive President, we are already inflaming weak-minded people into talking about leftist conspiracies and law and order, and looting rather than brutality. That conversation will go nowhere, just like mine.
I will yield to almost anything but treated contemptuously or disrespectfully. And I am always open to the idea that I need to learn how to listen better than I do now.
Sending these books off was thrilling for me, affirming and uplifting. And I am so happy I can now go and be with them for their graduation. We have already been through a lot together and I am very eager to see them off to their next chapter, along with Maria and Zinnia. They will make fine American citizens in every sense of the word.
This is the graduation gift bag I put together along with the Army of Good. Key chains, pens, pins, sashes, cards, hats, and about a dozen other things, including Jesmyn Ward’s book.
Good work, and thanks! Sue Silverstein of Bishop Maginn said today that I was cut off, I was no longer allowed to buy anything for the graduation. Okay..still there are those engraved scarves I loved…never mind.
Jon I wonder how many (NONE) books this woman who objected to your signing them – i wonder how many she will buy to support the author (NONE!).
Jon, I don’t think you’re being accurate about that woman who criticized you. First of all, in what you quoted, she doesn’t say you were “profoundly racist,” she just says she was profoundly offended. You can’t argue with that–she either was or she wasn’t. That’s a feeling not a fact. Second, in your first post, you didn’t say that you were going to “inscribe the book with a message of congratulation,” as you say here–you said that you had been “asked to sign the book.” Maybe she wouldn’t have written to you if you’d clarified, as you have here: you just said you were going to sign it, and it seems reasonable to be offended at that: signing “Jon Katz” to a book you didn’t write is different from inscribing with a note of encouragement from a gift-giver which, as you say, is common. Third, you said in your responses to her that Jesmyn specifically ASKED you to sign it, and here you say that she wrote to thank you for buying the books and inscribing them to the students. Which is it, since those two things are very different? In any case, I think you should listen to what she had to say and not try to change what you wrote to make her appear worse than she actually was. Still, thanks for buying the books for everyone. They’re going to love them!
Julie I do appreciate your civility and thoughtfulness…as I wrote in the piece I don’t think I handled it well and hope to learn from it. But at the same time, one of the lessons for me is that conversations don’t begin with judgment and attack, they begin with respect and an ability to listen – I need to work on that.
Neither one of us handled it well in my opinion. I don’t think I need to spar any longer over the details of every post. Given what’s happening in the world, it’s not Watergate.
My offer to her or you or anyone else is a willingness to speak about it directly if that would be helpful. I think it would be helpful to me.. J
Thanks, Julie, we don’t see it the same way I’m afraid, and I’m not interested in continuing the discussion. I’m content with what I wrote and have nothing more to add to it. This is just more round and round he-said, she said, it completely misses the point, as I see it. Time to move on, everybody has had their say. This is why I don’t argue my beliefs online with strangers. It never works out and wastes enormous amounts of time, and accomplishes nothing that I can see of any import. I tried to honestly explain how I felt about it, and if that doesn’t work for some people, that’s life, yes? Still thanks for your civil tone.
I think you’re splitting hairs a bit, calling me profoundly offensive in a racial context this week is not the best way to begin a conversation. But as I said, I did not handle it well and will work to learn from it. I’m not into self-flagellation, this is not the most important story in the world right now, I feel I’ve given it all the airing it needs. She is welcome to speak with me anytime one on one on the phone if she really wants a conversation. So far, she doesn’t.
As to my relationship with Jesmyn Ward, I am not comfortable talking about it and should not have mentioned it. I can say with confidence that she is not unhappy with my signing and sending these books.
WOW??? Since when is it wrong to give a book as a gift, and write a personal message to the recipient. Many of the treasured books in my personal library have written messages from teachers, friends, family members. That makes them have sentimental value.
KINDNESS and COMPASSION are needed in this time of turmoil.
Jon, you have such a generous spirit and you lead by example, directing us to good.
Right now, some are hurting and have a need to voice their frustration and lash out. We can listen, hold them in Light and Love, and know that this is a pivotal time in our shared history.
Very well said Antoinette, I hear you, truly, thanks..
The sounds of the graduates names are all pleasant sounding, a poetry in itself. Nice work helping so much.
I fully understand the position this woman is taking but I can’t help but think she’s missing the point that inscribing a book when it is a special gift is a age old tradition. Books that have been signed by the giver add so much to the depth of the gift, in my opinion. If fact, whenever I receive a book as a gift, one of my first moves is to open it up and see if the givers has added any special words. It’s so unfortunate that such a lovely addition to the graduates’ gifts could be tarnished by this post …
I am working to appreciate her position also, M., as I write, I don’t think I handled it well and am hoping to learn from it. But I do think she was profoundly wrong in the way she approached it, it was not about discussion but condemnation, and I often react poorly to being attacked..that is my problem..