(This morning, I stumbled into an extraordinary opportunity to understand better and perhaps explain more clearly the grip Donald Trump has on rural America. I got to talk to real people. As a reporter, I loved talking to different kinds of people, and I find that I love it still. In journalism I fear this is a lost art, another casualty of left-right thinking.)
Jerry was a big man in jeans and work boots; he was about 6 feet 4 inches and a hard and muscled 230 lbs. As I left Jean’s Place this morning after picking up my lunch and paying them for the latest Mansion catering, I ran into him and his wife and friends outside the restaurant.
Jerry worked in construction, or at least he did before the coronavirus. He has no job now.
He and two other men were sitting on lawn chairs out in the parking lot with their wives.
They knew who I was and that I was involved with helping Jean’s Place, and they asked me if I cared to join them, they had an extra chair in the car. It was a gracious thing to do; I’m not exactly a local.
I didn’t expect three or four of us to be crying in about ten minutes.
I said sure; I’d like to sit down, we sat in a fairly wide, properly distanced circle. All of them were holding masks; none of them were wearing one. This seemed fated to happen. When you open up to things, things happen.
We chatted about Jean’s Place, and then the conversation spontaneously – perhaps inevitably – moved back to Governor Andrew Cuomo and Donald Trump.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “I know you love our governor. Sometimes, I’d like to run him over.”
Gerry has been reading my blog, I thought, as several Jean’s Place customers now do from time to time. In a sense, I think he was waiting for me.
I was about to get a powerful lesson in understanding Donald Trump’s appeal to rural America, the source of his greatest power and strength.
I knew some of this intellectually, but I was about to feel it on another and much deeper level.
It reminded me that understanding Trump is so much more important than hating him. I’ve written very favorably about Andrew Cuomo and more than once, and I was about to see a completely different view of him, so far from mine or many people like me.
I call it Grunt and Grumble, country people love to sit around and talk with one another, something city people in my experience are always too busy or nervous about doing.
“I hate that bastard,” Gerry said of Governor Cuomo,” he doesn’t give a shit about my family or me.”
“If you watch the cable news, you’d think that all of the people protesting about the shutdowns are Nazi’s with machine guns. I’m not a Nazi,” said. Most nights of late, he said, “I go to bed crying, once my kids are asleep and can’t see me. Jenny and I never once thought we would have to go to a food pantry to feed our kids.”
I always think the same thing at night; he said, “what is going to become of us and all of our dreams and plans, from a vacation to a new truck to college for our son. Forget all of them,” he said. “What gets me crying,” he said, “is when I ask myself, “what am I going to do? Because I have no idea.”
“And I don’t have a machine gun, either,” he said.”Don’t get me wrong, I’m a gun lover, but those guys are jerks. They give working men a bad name.”
For the next half hour, Jerry and his friends talked about how they feel living under the thumb of city people. The whole Pandemic, he said, was mostly a city thing.
They all lost their jobs, and because their kids are home, none of the women can even think of working. It didn’t seem an option for the men to take over the domestic chores.
“He (Governor Cuomo) says we can all open up when he hires thousand of ‘contract trackers,” said one of the women. “How are we supposed to work when the schools are closed? He says the future might be in ‘virtual schools.’ “Really, who does he think are going to stay home with those kids?”
They didn’t have to wreck our lives like that, ” said one of the men, “make us beg for food for our kids, wreck our credit and mortgage payments, wipe out our savings. “You want to see big tough grown men cry; you should have been in our houses these past few months.”
I was struck by how open these men and women were, how frightened. They seemed to be in shock.
The Pandemic was severe, people suffered, but so did we, said Jerry. “We aren’t used to begging for help; I spent two hours a day on the phone trying to find out where my unemployment check is. I want to hang myself,” he said.”We even thought about food stamps, but people can’t get those either.”
Peggie, one of the wives, said, “We suffered a lot more than anybody seemed to know or care about. Cuomo, she said, was just another Democrat, a city guy who only cares about the city. Then he went and took all those sick old people from New York and brought them up here and stuck them in our nursing homes, and killed a lot of mothers and grandmothers.”
And, she added, “we are still suffering. Nobody has any money in the bank; I expect we might lose our house by the end of the year. There won’t be enough time to pay back all the money we owe. And not enough work. My mother gave me $20 this morning and said go visit Jean’s Place and have some pie…”
She smiled. “And you know what? Jean wouldn’t take our money. I was grateful and ashamed at the same time. Maybe relieved. That’s dinner money.”
Jerry got laid off when the Pandemic hit New York City. So did his wife, who worked as a receptionist for a construction company. Neither one has heard from their bosses about whether they still have work.
“This isn’t about Nazis and Democrats,” he said, “we are fighting for our lives.”
I saw Jerry’s eyes well up again, and so did Nate’s, also a carpenter and landscaper (in rural America, people have two or three jobs, many seasonal, to survive. There are no other jobs around anymore. There are none in sight either.
“I know Trump can be an asshole, ” Nate said, “we’re not blind and deaf. And we’re not stupid. Those tweets are stupid! I hate to see a President tweeting like some high school idiot.”
But, he added, he does care about people like us. “He fought for us to get our jobs back, to get our lives back to normal. He saw there was no reason to wreck our lives. This place is not like New York City or San Francisco. Hardly anybody got sick up here; we don’t know anybody who died except in a nursing home. It was crazy to treat us like we was in New York City.”
Trump, he said, spotted that and speeded the opening up. He saw his opportunity, one said, and he took it. “If not for him,” said one of the men,”we’d still be shut down instead of opening up.”
The conversation shifted as the people there got into it.
“Have you ever not had enough money in the bank to feed your family?” asked one of the wives, she didn’t give her name. “Have you ever looked your kid in the eye,” and said, “honey, we’re having noodles again tonight because that’s all grandma had to give us.”
I laughed. I’ve said something like that to Maria once or twice, but never to my daughter. I guess I wanted them to know I wasn’t born to money either, and don’t have much.
The food pantry was swamped, she said, they ran out of food every few days. It was the first time they had ever gone to one.
Her sister, she said, married a drunken bum – her words.
“She came over to cry with me and tell me he was home drinking all day, pissed off because he couldn’t work and taking it out on her. There was nothing she could do. She called one of those hotlines, but they were swamped.”
Her sister was “all black and blue,” she said, “does that count as suffering too?”
When somebody asked Cuomo about domestic at one of his press conferences, do you know what he said, she wondered? “Well, at least they’re not dead. Screw him.” I heard him say that, I know it was true.
Jerry nodded. “It’s like if you didn’t get sick in New York City, it just didn’t matter what was happening.”
Trump got us out of that hole; they all agreed. They all felt that sickness and viruses would come and go. People would die. But that didn’t mean everything had to die.
Trump knew we didn’t need to be shut down, he was the first one to see it, said Jerry, and everybody nodded.
And because of him, everybody is opening up. That’s why we like him, said one of the wives, her name was Carol. Some of us might get back to work.
I was struck by how much their views about Governor Cuomo mirrored “progressive” views about Trump. They saw him as cruel, uncaring, even dangerous – as if he knowingly killed those elderly people in their nursing homes. He didn’t care about them, think of them, wasn’t their leader.
If you substitute Trump for Cuomo, you’d get an almost word-for-word match, we no longer see politicians on the other side as human, we are manipulated and encouraged to think of them as inhuman monsters who, given the chance, will destroy our democracy and way of life.
What I see often are empathetic people who lose any sense of empathy for the “opposition” candidate. For the Republic to prosper, it seems to me people have to start thinking of politicians in a different way. It would almost take a Nelson Mandela to do that.
Trump has shown no interest in healing wounds, Cuomo is not a position to try to do that, he doesn’t seem to have made dividing people a central strategy of his governance. Biden says he wants to do it, but he hasn’t said how he might do it.
I was comfortable with these people. They didn’t seem very different from me, and we had no conflict with one another. We had no trouble talking to each other. We didn’t expect to be best pals, but it was easy to talk to them and listen to them. Listening mattered – they weren’t used to it.
It was our politics that separated us. Or maybe it was the politicians who labeled us and separated us, the creators of the “left” and the “right.”
I was affected by what they were saying and feeling. Looking into their eyes was very different than writing about them.
Sitting there, in Jean’s parking lot, I saw how we live in two completely different worlds on one level, even though on a human level, we are very much the same.
That is a hopeful thing, that is the way back.
Donald Trump gets this, like him or not. One reason he makes so many people uncomfortable is that he exposes all of the people who don’t get it. Rather than changing, they just focus on him as the root of all evil.
He is in sync with these people, and he alone sensed their isolation and anger and intense hurt. “Hell,” said Jerry, “my family has been poor for 50 years. But we could always get to buy, pay our bills, feed our families. This thing knocked us into outer space. We will spend years getting back on our feet if we ever do.
Trump is agile, unlike people who are “left” or “right.”
He pivots on a dime, instantly, and often shamelessly. He senses the flow, he does not create it, and exploits it, like an owl up a tree waiting for some mice to come out.
One of the women said she was a nurse at a local hospital. She got laid off three weeks ago, there was one coronavirus patient in the whole hospital, and the rest of the hospital was empty.
“We lost so much money because the hospital was empty, and then they brought in a half-dozen sick, elderly people into our hospital from downstate, and nobody would come near us for any reason. Then they took our ventilators and brought then downstate and traded us the sick people they didn’t have room for. I don’t know I’m ever getting my job back. And I couldn’t take a job; I have two kids driving me nuts at home.”
Some of the resentment to Governor Cuomo, I said out loud, seemed to verge on conspiracy theories, the new American way of demonizing people. He seemed to me to be doing the best with a true nightmare no one had imagined.
One of the women nodded, nobody else responded. I wanted to listen, but I didn’t want to be another nodding head.
Sooner or later, she said, the bank was going to come calling. They hadn’t paid their mortgage in the past two months. She can’t pay it this month either. “But the devil will have their due,” she said, “I can promise you that.”
Their stimulus check lasted about a week and a half. They used it to repair Jerry’s truck, buy some groceries, and pay a couple of bills.
I found these men and women to be realistic about Trump; he wasn’t their cup of tea. None of them would want to have a drink with him, or even invite him to sit down them. I asked them if any of them wanted their kids to be like Trump. They all shook their heads. No way.
But he listens to them, they said, and he understands their frustration and anger. He fights for them. “Who else fights for us?” Gerry asked. I saw the other men were shy about talking to me.
I see that Trump, a master at responding to his chosen audience, has once again read the mood of these people, and responded to it. Once again, he is ahead of the curve and is making the curve possible.
And once again, his opponents have stumbled into the same trap as before.
It seems most of them really can’t see beyond the end of their noses. If you only represent half the country, then the country will always be divided. And you may not get enough votes to win elections, it will always be close.
And Trump has a free ride right now; now there is no one standing up to challenge him on anything like a national level. Nancy Pelosi is tough and strong, but she is never going to turn rural people around or make them reconsider their loyalties.
None of this made me love Trump or even respect him more.
But he is not crazy, and he is not dumb. If he is crazy, then foxes are mad. In political terms, he always stays ahead of the curve. In one month, his position has gone from hopeless to close. He is now the King not only of the opening up, and of saving the economy, but of the search for a vaccine.
I’m not sure where Joe Biden is in all this, he rarely pops up on any of my screens.
I was shaken by what I saw and heard, even though I have thought about it and written about it before. I couldn’t help but be emotional, the stories I was hearing were gut-wrenching, just like the stories of the coronavirus families.
I was looking into the eyes of real people; in many ways, just like Maria and me, they were not labels like the left or the right.
Strangely, Trump is not representative of them at all. I believe he is very vulnerable in that way. Honestly, it would not take much for someone to touch these people and pull them back into the mainstream of political life.
But for that to happen, they would have to be part of mainstream American life.
Trump’s strength mostly seems to lie in the fact that he is doing what no other national politician does nearly as well, or even at all.
He is bold, he gets his message out, every day in every possible way.
He knows who he is speaking to.
His use of social media is, in fact, quite brilliant.
One day, some politicians with brains will put up a twitter page devoted to helping one troubled American a day – a farmer, a kid struggling with opioids, a family whose house burned down, a woman who lost her job and can’t feed her family.
Imagine a Twitter account devoted to doing good, one family at a time, every day.
Could that be as or more effective as the barrage of fund-raising messages I get every single day? Maybe so. And how would that make Trump look if a Democratic opponent did it? You could reach disconnected audiences like rural people in a flash.
Franklin Roosevelt and the other great politicians understood that to get something, you have to give something. Most politicians I hear from have their hands out, every time.
Sitting in that parking lot, I saw and felt how Trump is talking to rural America, cementing his ties with them, plugging into them, mirroring them. He’s either much more empathic than we think or gets some great advice.
That is the bond he has with this part of our population that seems unbreakable.
One of the great laws of politics is that nothing can ever be taken for granted, everything changes. Nothing is beyond hope.
Rural people loved Franklin Roosevelt; he fought for them. Up here, the farmers still talk about how he brought the water, how their mothers didn’t have to walk a mile to haul water home.
He brought them jobs, electricity, water, farm aid, and hope. No one else has fought for them since. Roosevelt brought them more than promises; he brought them jobs and things that materially altered their lives.
Who, I wonder, in either party is doing the same thing for these people that Roosevelt did? This would be a good time; they are in deep trouble. Their hearts belong to just about anybody who knows that.
If you look at the data, rural are suffering more than any other segment of our population, aside from Native-Americans. Nobody is doing anything for them either.
President Obama was mentioned only once, but there was a lot of shugging. “He was a classy type of guy, but I don’t think he knew we even existed,” said one.
Gerry had to get up and go pick up his kids; they were at his grandmother’s. Their morning outing at Jean’s Place was over.
I thanked them for inviting me to sit down and for talking to me. I said I felt very comfortable with them, even as I knew were different in many ways. I wished them luck.
I felt pretty humbled.
As I got up to leave, Gerry got up to shake my head and thank me for understanding how vital Jean’s Place was to the community.
“You probably don’t see it,” he said, “but Jean in there cries all the time. She’s done so much for people; it’s been so hard on her. I appreciate what you do, and thanks for listening to me.”
Our country is divided, I thought, but it’s people like Trump and many other politicians who do most of the dividing.
We were not divided out there this morning. We had no trouble sitting down and talking to each other, and I almost fell over when Gerry and his wife got up, and both of them gave me a big hug.
Neither of us even thought about social distancing. It was a manly king of hug, shoulder to shoulder.
It really can be done if only somebody will do it.
Great writing. Thank you for it. I always enjoy your stories, I rarely agree with any of your political views. But you are fair and honest . Thanks for being open and listening.
Same to you, Richard..
The fact that they think Trump cares about them in any way, let alone fights for them, is so far from any reality or truth that it’s mind numbing.
Hannah I agree with you. If a president cares about all people why would be work so hard to obliterate Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid and health care. His reason for opening up quickly is personal, to improve the economy so that he can be re-elected. I am not Left or Right. I have voted for a President from both parties over my 50 years of voting. My first consideration is honest empathy and compassion. I don’t feel any of that with this president.
I have a daughter who is a nurse manager in a large hospital that took some of those ventilators and some of the patients still had to share a ventilator. She and her staff are exhausted physically and emotionally. Numerous nurses and doctors have had the Covid virus and been ill for up to a month. They have had Covid patients for up to five weeks and were them released to long term care units, not all elderly citizens but people of all ages. The youngest patient who had to go to long term care was 24 because he wasn’t able to walk. Several of those patients who recovered are on dialysis and now have heart issues. The hospital she works in was fortunate in that medical personnel from around the country came to work with them and to earn money because they were laid off in their rural hospital. My daughter cried each time a family had to say goodbye to a patient on a tablet. It has been a war and the cases of PTSD are on the rise. Not once has the president offered words of sympathy or money to help families from the left and right with funeral expenses because some families have lost more than one family member. Not once has a nurse or doctor asked a patient if they had been wearing a mask or social distancing. During WWII everyone sacrificed and followed the example of a great president who thanked them for their sacrifices. So I speak as a parent who has had several conversations with a daughter on her ride home and hearing her sobs. Then when she got home she stripped in the garage, took a shower and still couldn’t hug her husband or children. So many have lost a lot and many have worked hard, like the Army or Good , to assist their fellow citizens. I long for the time when we are all just Americans again. I long to have a president set an example for how we can all care about each other.
Joe Biden had three virtual Town Halls last week, each on different topics which not one news channel followed because the oxygen is all being taken up on nonsense.
Thank you Jon for addressing the Left -Right problem in our country. It’s real and it’s sad.
Patricia, this was beautifully stated. It’s exactly how I feel, and I’m terrified that Trump is going to be re-elected despite all of the damage he has done to the country. I’m also a RN, but not front line because I work in clinical research. I hope your daughter is doing well and getting the emotional support she and her colleagues need. I fear there is going to be a lot of PTSD among all front line workers.
Stay safe and well.
I agree, Trump cares for NO one but himself., it’s obvious in his actions and speech. This man cannot even fathom how these folks feel or live. He never places himself in any type of situation that is Uncomfortable for DT. HOW would he know what they need?
I appreciate this article and a I feel badly for folks who have lost jobs and are in precarious situations right now. My heart goes out to each of you.
Jon, why have we not learned ? There have been so many Trumps, from civilizations earliest times to our present.
The numbers are almost countless. This is heart breaking ! Why ? Why ? Why?
Maybe ..history must keep repeating itself……until we humans ???????
Must be a white guy and have all the white guys absolve you from all your sins and not point out all the lies you spout about being forgotten. White men such as you and the ones you spoke to have been cater to for the entire existence of this country. This entire discussion was dishonest in the extreme and utterly racist. Not one of these people would have the guts to bear what a woman of color goes through and always has.
Spoiled brats the lot of them.
I honestly have no idea what you are talking about..perhaps some other people will…Mlgm, if that is your name..
Of course you have no idea why those remarks that you’re reporting so proudly are racist to the core–you’re as white and privileged as they are. I’ve never heard such a bunch of whining from people who have had it SO much easier than brown people like me. You can’t understand, and you’ll never understand.
Coralee, suffering is not a competition in my mind. I well understand what you are talking about, you know nothing about what I am talking about. Your post is the best short imitation of Donald Trump’s racial approach I’ve seen. Hate and divide.
African Americans and others in America suffer plenty, so do rural Americans. One day they may all get together and actually change the system, once people like you come awake.
Rural Americans have the lowest income, highest suicide rate, the highest rate of addiction overdoses and deaths, the lowest employment rate, the poorest and least available health care, and the shortest life span of any other group in America with the exception of Native Americans.
Broan and black people have lots of suffering but fare better in every one of these categories except when it comes to police brutality.
The denial of rural suffering has made Trump possible, and his administration will make it worse for everyone who is poor and disadvantaged, white, black or brown. Your failure to grasp that will cause great suffering and division, and make life so much easier for him.
All of those stats are widely available online and elsewhere if you’d stop writing dumb and pompous messages and did some work. White is surely a privilege, but that has nothing to with the hollowing out of half of the country by economists and politicians.
Life is not easy for brown or black Americans, or brown Americans. It is not easy for many white or Native Americans either, or anybody not in the one percent. In fact, Native Americans suffer far more than rural Americans or any other social, racial, or cultural group, although you don’t seem to know that.
My hope is that they link up and discover their common ground and show some overwhelming political power rather than be splintered by people like you.
It is awfully arrogant to choose one suffering over another and accomplishes nothing but the Trump agenda.
We don’t have to choose between one group or another when it comes to compassion.
It is, in fact, racist to paint one group as in worse shape than another, especially when it’s false. If I can never understand, why waste both of our time reading me and writing to me. Maybe you ought to read the piece before you bloviate about it..You’re just another kind of bigot from a different place. What do you do besides promote hatred?
And P.S. I AM NATIVE AMERICAN!!! I am also half African American. Why do you think I’m not? I know a lot more about my community than you do! Your assumptions about me are ridiculous. How would you know what i do or I don’t know??
I have no idea what you are or are not, Coralee, and don’t much care, other than your hate and divide ideology, which is precisely the same as our President’s, while you claim to be morally superior. I’m glad you know something about your community, you don’t seem to know or care about anybody else’s community.
It’s vile to call someone a racist for writing a piece like that. It is disgusting and offensive, and you should be ashamed of yourself. People like you are the reason most people are afraid to communicate online.
My wish for you is that you stop acting like a bigot. All people who suffer are equal in my eyes and need our compassion and care, not just the ones you care about. What you are is irrelevant and not my business. Stop calling people racist because they have different ideas than you, and you have no idea what I am like or what my privilege is or isn’t. Stupid messages like that are a disease, and I won’t bow to them.
Hatred obliterates any genuine message you might actually have. All I know about you is your foolish and grossly inaccurate post, it doesn’t speak well of you. I hope you are better than that.
And where did I call you “vile”? Stop putting words into my mouth and maybe think about what I’m saying!
Coralee, I said calling someone a racist for writing a column like this is vile. It is.
I don’t need to put words in your mouth, the ones you use are bad enough. This is precisely the kind of conversation that makes social media a cesspool. I feel badly for you, and for me too. What a waste of time. I know better. I don’t need to think about being called a racist.
I apologize for wasting both of our times, hope springs eternal. If you ever want to have an actual conversation about what I wrote and if you can write a single sentence without being outraged or insulting, come back and try again. Otherwise, good luck to you. On this site, people like to think and talk about things, it’s not the place for you.
You once again wrote words that are in my head. The people you spoke to in the parking lot could have been my parents, aunts uncles. Salt of the earth. Worked hard, supported their family, were proud. I am not sure they would have liked Trump, but they would have liked the message. They were factory workers, end didn’t travel far. We are alike, we want people to be able to support their families, people want to be heard, people want to feel valued. You have the best insight.
Thanks Beth, I’m fortunate to be living in a rural county
Thank you for sharing your message, Jon. I see where you are coming from and we are both on the same side of the fence mostly. I wish I knew how to be more caring toward Mr. Trump, but I can’t see the behaviors he exhibits. He appears to me to be a very unhappy man.
I don’t think the issue is being more caring to Trump Betty it’s being more caring the very ordinary people who turn to him in desperation..he can take care of himself..I’m not his mother
This was a perfect example of how right and left can co-exist. I think more and more that it is less to do with right vs left as much as it is well-to-do vs a squeezed middle class and the working poor. When I see what the DNC has done to make sure that Biden is their guy, I realize that those Democrats in office aren’t so different from the Republicans in office. But they want US to believe we have more at odds with one another than we really do. They know if we can band together, we might just take this country back from them (the ruling class). It’s really class warfare when you get right down to it. As George Carlin said several years ago about the ruling class: “Face it folks, it’s ONE BIG CLUB, and we ain’t In it!” He was so right.
Thanks for that side of it. I get it. I work for people who feel like that. My students hear their parents talk like that. I didn’t understand why anyone would say anything good about the person in. charge. Whyvwoukdvanybidybsupport him? What were people thinking? So thanks fir the view from the people who feel that way. Our country needs to produce some great new leaders, God help us.
Wow.
John, I hear what you are saying about imagining an elected leader reaching out to solve problems with real, direct plans. Let me preface my response by explaining that I also live in a very rural area (of PA, a swing state) where Fox news is the main diet of information and there are re-election signs everywhere for the current administration. I have lost so many friends because of my progressive way of looking at our situation…but I am a listener and I’m determined to maintain the relationships I can. That being said…none of the folks I talk with will look beyond the walls of misinformation that have, let’s face it, distorted their view of democratic contenders. Did none of them hear the programs and plans that Elizabeth Warren laid out with clarity and forthrightness that would change their futures and the stalled trajectory of our nation? Were any of them willing to listen with a hopeful heart to Klobuchar’s middle-of-the-road infrastructure and education plans for ALL Americans? I could go on listing the positive and enriching and life-saving ideas that were shared openly by the candidates who oppose the current administration. This is what I hear in my neck of the woods about all of that when I ask. “That is socialism. And socialism will bring down this nation. I don’t want my tax dollars going to people who don’t work and just want to live off of the government.” Do they not understand that what they need right now is the social safety net that every single one of the democratic nominees in one way or another were running on?! They are lost and in a place that is truly gut-wrenching – but they are also rejecting the plans that will pull them and everyone dealing with similar lives (even before this blasted pandemic) have needed. There is a basic social safety net ( intended to provide decent roads, healthcare, opportunities for education, job training, infrastructure projects that are sorely needed and would employ millions for a decade, and more) that people like Trump and the greedy GOP now in power in the Senate are fighting AGAINST because they want to keep it for themselves and dole it out penny by penny to keep hold of these dear people by their necks. I understand your compassion, I feel it here myself. People want to be able to get by. But the lies they have internalized about whether DT cares what happens to them (and daily enforced by the propaganda of Fox) are killing them. What you wished for, a politician who wants to directly help, is out there — in spades right now. My neighbors, like yours, reject that active and progressive government because they are convinced it will mean THEY will have less…less power, less wealth, less value. Until they open their eyes and ears, they will not see that the solutions to the sorrow and fear they are suffering with are only a vote away. I’ll keep listening here, and reaching out ~ but I can’t agree with you that the democratic candidates didn’t offer what these folks (and our nation) need.
Thanks Kendal, an important message, I appreciate it.
Kendal, thank you so much for your message, you really do sum up the dilemma we are facing, of how to open people’s hearts to each other’s suffering, on all sides.
And thus, they will vote against their own best interest, again, sigh. Being that I was born and raised “Rural”, I get it however…50yrs ago you could make the excuse that being from the country was why you were a little out of touch and lacking of worldly knowledge, Today, it is not. Im sure that New Truck they mentioned has Wi-Fi, and Im sure they know how to use it.
There’s a lot to digest and think about in this post. As a part of the Upstate NY diaspora, I hear themes that common in my childhood 50 years ago. Resentment of the big city, and it’s power over them.
But I also saw the fear and disdain of anyone different, the absolute condemnation of diversity or tolerance, as well as the minimization of education. Having your “nose stuck in a book” was a misdemeanor, expressing any desire for new idea, acceptance of nonChristian philosophies, etc was appalling. Differences were noted and ridiculed, I remember that a local man (not FROM here, good God) jogged through our 1 road village, and was sneered at as “the runner”.
How much of these thoughts are fear of change- vs fear of others vs what?
Are your friends, who come through as sincere people who want to care for their families, involved in local government? Are they reaching out for new farming techniques to preserve the land, or decrying new environmental regulations?
Sincere question, how do they feel about your work with refugees?
Also, somewhat off topic, there is an entire genre of country music that encourages and exploits rural resentment.
I appreciate your friends’ statements that they are not Nazis, indicating they think that would be wrong, but I wonder how they feel about the Muslim ban, the border wall and immigration detention camps.
Joe Biden would be well served to have a rural ambassador in his campaign, and his administration, I think. But even if he doesn’t, I am willing to bet that any of your neighbors would be more welcome in Joe Biden’s home than they would be at MarALago.
Thanks for continuing to open these conversations.
I appreciate your writing. It’s political writing that I can actually stomach. I think you are correct when you alluded to the fact that most politicians speak to their supporters specifically. None really speaks to people as a whole. What a huge task to give each sector of the population what it needs. Each political official only gets to keep his job by showing results to his community. The only way (in this twisted system) is to include as much “pork” as one can get away with; often hiding it in legislation voted on quickly in the middle of the night. Maybe Andrew Yang had it right with the minimum basic income. Then maybe people in rural communities and urban areas of poverty could feel a bit safer, domestic violence victims could leave a bit easier and parents could stay home with their kids without as much pressure. The government gives so much away to everybody and their brother. Why not to us as a proactive gesture? Too liberal? People should “work” for a living? I think the old bootstrap metaphor has run its course. Time to ditch those boots. Let everyone worry about their own footwear and be free to live their lives with less anxiety.
I think your statement “Suffering is not a competition” is a profound one. One I wish we could all take to heart to open our hearts and become more compassionate. Life doesn’t have to be a zero sum game.
I wish we could help these people you spent time talking with, even though they would hate me as a Democrat who admires Cuomo. I don’t hate them, but I feel sick by their interpretation of what Trump is, was, and will always be.
Jon, thank you for your honesty and empathy in this post.
I would offer one additional observation: I would contend that these folks are not outside the mainstream of American political life, but rather they ARE the mainstream of current American political life (as evidenced by the 2016 Presidential election and many state/local elections since). The challenge–and where Trump succeeds when others do not, whether we like it or not–is that the liberal/progressive political leaders and much of the media are unwilling to accept that the American political will has already de-urbanized. As long as those your friends represent continue to be considered an aberration to politics, there will be little meeting in the center of the aisle.
These folks represent the companion ethos just as deeply ingrained into our American culture as “Give me your tired, your poor . . . . ” — and that is the reason our immigrant ancestors came here in the first place: the “right to pursue the American Dream”– to be free to work and be masters of our own fate. While both parties certainly have their issues, it appears the progressives just never seem to get this as they become more entrenched in the elitism you have explored previously.
Your willingness to listen, and Insightful writing like this post, may help more people to recognize “THEY . . . is actually US.”
Best,
Anne from Montana
I’m very appreciative of the chance to look into the mind of Trump supporters. I often wonder how anyone can look at or listen to this parody of a president. I say “what do they hear and see that allows them to support such a person”.
This gave me a rare opportunity. My heart breaks for these people and I hear the same things in the state of Texas
where I unfortunately live. Rural areas don’t understand why they have to be shut down because they aren’t heavily afflicted with this plague. But look at what’s happening here now. Infection rates are rising rapidly in rural areas and nobody deported sick, old people to their towns. Meat packing plants where there guidelines can’t be followed are vectors. We all, unfortunately, see ourselves and our problems and sometimes are unaware of the problems of others.
A very human and sad state of affairs but it puzzles me that anyone who truly listens to Trump can think he cares about them as people. He is a self centered narcissist who only sees people as a means to an end. That end is power to him!
He would destroy every safety-net there is or was. He is a destroyer a divider. Nobody is prefect but Andrew Cuomo seeks to heal and unite. I was not a big fan of his in past years but his strategies to curb this virus are important for all of the country . Politicians are not a group of people I love or admire but some are really better than others. People’s needs are in many ways vastly different, but we all need to live and we all need help from time to time. A man who has contempt for anyone who is not “Loyal” to him is not someone who will solve our problems with his empty promises.
I grew up in what was then rural New York State (the Hudson Valley/Catskill region), and I can imagine many of these words being spoken by those I grew up with and their families. While I now live in an urban area, I “get” what the people you shared time with are saying. The divide between rural and urban is growing rapidly, and the values and lives of those in the latter are often being ignored. While being given lip service, the actions aren’t there. This, I believe, is why Trump won. There’s an illusion that he’s on their side, but many of us realize that that is just that: an illusion. Still, he speaks the right words and, he’s certainly not an intellectual (many of whom laugh at and belittle them). Until the Democrats realize this and pay attention, they will be perceived as the party of “them”; the party that represents the city folk. When I go back to my home area to visit, I’ve asked some of the “locals” how they feel about so many from NYC moving in. Most feel it’s positive in many ways, but they’re uncomfortable (okay, some resent it) that some are trying to change the area into a microcosm of the city and don’t respect those who’ve lived there for years or generations, and who created the community. We need to understand that there have been so many societal changes that have happened in a very short period of time, that we, as progressives, expect others to accept and get used to: gay marriage; interracial relationships/marriages; non-Christian religions. (or many not being anything at all) ….. While I support all of these changes, I also know that some of them are just too much for too many. That’s pretty much the definition of being conservative. We all need to listen.
Meanwhile, I disagree with the view point that rural Americans loved FDR. My grandfather was absolutely not a fan. He and his friends resented the government coming in and giving “free hand outs”; for taking over when the villages and town were finding ways to help each other out. Note: I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have liked Trump any better.
Thank you for writing this important piece. But, more importantly, thank you for sitting down with your neighbors and really listening. We need more of that.
thanks Jill, there are lots of polls about FDR and country people, but I know he was controversial..everything is in our country, yes?
As I read this, I kept thinking about the Bishop Maginn families who are in the same desperate situation: lost jobs, no money to feed their children, no money to pay rent (since they don’t own their homes). I feel the same empathy for these folks you were speaking to (and for, quite eloquently). There were certainly candidates in the Democratic primaries who were speaking to, about and for these same people: refugees, gig workers, rural residents, etc. They just didn’t make it to the finish line.
Thanks Jill, I have a lot of hopes for the refugees, I actually think rural America is in a bigger mess..I appreciate the message..
Thanks Jill, for one thing there is no media that really covers them, and they don’t make much noise or ask for help. I was shocked when I moved up here at how much poverty and need there was, I hadn’t heard a thing about it. Without their anger and support, Trump would not have come close to winning.
Others have said some of the political things I would so I wont repeat them. Instead I Will say that what you did is what I’ve been saying we must do. We need to listen. Just be quiet and listen. Instead we stay apart and label. The right is racist, the left is commie. If we listened we’d learn that the needs of rural and urban are very different. We might walk away from such discussions, not changed in our beliefs but rather understanding the feelings and needs of the other, who is really ourselves in another guise.
Thank you for sharing your conversation with your neighbors. I too live among rural folks and was raised by folks on the ‘R’ side of politics. I don’t know what happened to me, but I grew up and saw the ‘L’ side of politics made more sense. This is what I have found in over 45 years living among people who think very differently than myself, and I observed the same thing in the conversation you described. Was their a point in your conversation where they asked for your views, your ideas about how the pandemic was being handled? Was their a point where they asked about the people in NYC who were losing 100’s of people a day and what it must be like to be in the shoes of the Governors trying to make the best decisions based upon what he or she was observing as this virus ravaged their most populated cities?
Maybe I’m wrong, but I would venture the answer is no.
I live rurally, I get that people in the nearest big city do not understand my life, I also get that I don’t understand theirs. I have challenges, but so do they. Rural people were losing their jobs, city people were losing their lives.
From my perspective, a better president, a better leader would have tried to bring us all together, help us all, not just his constituents.
You have effectively highlighted a huge gap that Biden isn’t filling. Bernie is the closest we’ve come to this in recent years. The Democrats need to wake up and work on that gap before we all suffer four more years of this nightmare. Keep shouting loudly. Copy this to Biden asap.
Thanks for your thoughtful essay, Jon.
Here is a quote for you: “Those in authority must retain the public’s trust. The way to do that is to distort nothing, to put the best face on nothing, to try to manipulate no one.” — Abraham Lincoln Unfortunately, Donald J. Trump does all of the reverse, and somehow is able to get the support of gullible people. Yes, i agree that the Democrats have no clue what to do and in fact have essentially excommunicated the one candidate who is a true progressive that has much support among the people – Bernie Sanders, in favor of one of their own elites to run against, and quite possibly lost to Trump.