My friend Sue Silverstein, the art and theology teacher at Bishop Maginn and one of Zinnia’s Godmothers, told me this true story from her childhood. Like my Uncle Harry, her Aunt Louise taught her valuable things that are useful for surviving both an election year and a murderous Pandemic.

In the summer, Sue would go and stay with her Aunt Louise, now deceased, where she was taught “Ladyship Lessons.” I got a “Ladyship Lesson” earlier today, and it was great.

Sue told me the story of Aunt Louse after I said I was puzzled at the response my essays on the election were getting – one post got 240,000 shares on Facebook alone, and I’ve never gotten so much praise.

Whenever she got a compliment, said Aunt Louise, Sue should lower her eyes and just say “thank you.”

I am sad about the sick and the dying, and the poor and the frightened. There is always death and hardship in our world – sometimes we take note of it and sometimes we don’t –  it is always important to think about it and respect it.

This morning, Anne from Montana, a valued reader of my blog, wrote this message about a piece I published earlier today:

“Jon, I feel this is probably the best and most meaningful piece you have ever written. You move through the polarity of “argument” (where so many are stuck in sh*t) to the epiphany of minds meeting in the middle and the treasures to be found there.”

I twitched when I read this and told Sue about it and said I didn’t understand what was happening here. Was the piece that good? Why did people like it so much? I was playing the game of the writer through time – fishing for more.

“Wait a minute,” Sue said, “just lower your eyes. And say thank you.”

I was stunned at the wisdom and simplicity of this exercise and thought what a brilliant mantra it would be for me when I didn’t appreciate compliments or wasn’t grateful for the many good things I have in my life.

And I did lower my eyes. And I did say it.

And it works. It is transformative. I stopped diddling in my head, shed some false modesty,  accepted Anne’s lovely words,  gave thanks, and moved on.

A friend e-mailed me soon after, telling me she was depressed and angry about President Trump and the Pandemic. She watches the news all day, it is eating her up. She said she had never been so upset or unhappy.

“Wait a minute,” I suggested. “Do you have food? Do you have money? Do you have a loving partner to hold you and be with you? Are you healthy? Do you have children to love you?”

She paused and said yes to all of those things.

“Then go online and look at the photos of the hundreds of cars that lined up in Schenectady County, N.Y, today, where volunteers were waiting to fill the trunks of their cards with free food.”

I waited, and she went to her browser and got back on the phone, and it was quiet. “Here’s a Ladyship Lesson from Aunt Louise,” I said, “just lower your eyes, and say thank you.”

When I get a compliment  or I fail to appreciate my good luck and my good fortune, I have a mantra now, a “Ladyship Lesson.”( Take that, Dad.)

I just lower my eyes- that’s important, and took some practice to get right.

And I say, “thank you.”

And thanks to you, Aunt Louise.