17 April

My Bad: The Wrong Way To Do It

by Jon Katz

I messed up today. I’ve been scrupulous about wearing my mask, washing my hands, keeping at least six feet away from other people, staying inside all day and night.

I went to Jean’s Place today to drop off payment for lunch at the Mansion and to pick up lunch and I had this idea about doing a selfie with Kelsie, one of my favorite people in the world.

She is like family to me, and we’ve given up on hugging or getting close. But we both thought a selfie was a good idea, we don’t want Jean’s Place to be forgotten.

I held up the camera well away from her, but was struggling to get the right angle on the photo, Kelsie reached up to help and actually took the shot.

I realized we were too close and backed away.

This was a foolish mistake, I believe I not only endangered myself but potentially, Kelsie as well. She is very conscious about disinfecting the restaurant – the doors, handles, counters, and bags.

We have fun together and are both a little worn down by this confinement and uncertainty. At Jean’s Place, the family is working day and night preparing take-out meals and catering what functions they can. They are exhausted.

I have pestered Kelsie into wearing her bandana now, she is very careful around food and visitors.

They need this to be over at Jean’s Place, they have all been thrown together for days, and are worn out, as so many people are. I washed my hands, etc. but I wanted to put this photo up because I love it, but more than that because I want to remind people not to get lax as I did.

I am at risk and that puts other people at risk, and I would have a hard time living with myself if I got somebody else sick. Besides, I’m not really ready to die. Too much to do.

It is very difficult to maintain this vigilance, especially for someone like me, who lived so differently for decades, and who is very easily distracted.

I believe in being open about the good and the bad, here’s a chunk of bad. I won’t do it a gain. We all want this to be over, but getting people sick isn’t the way to do that.

And oh yes, if you are local, you can order excellent take-out from Jean’s Place, the number is 518 686 3258.

3 Comments

  1. It is a great picture Jon! But I get what you are saying. I had to pick up a few groceries and wore my mask. A co-worker came in with no mask and she is at high risk. She told me it was a quick stop for her, but I also told her she needed to be careful.

  2. It is extraordinarily hard, isn’t it? Most of us are so used to having at least some human contact in our lives. We’re used to getting and giving hugs, having face-to-face conversations, seeing people’s facial expressions, sharing good times and bad at close quarters. Humans are social animals. We’re not designed for the isolation that has been forced on us by this virus. I think of myself as a bit of a hermit. I’ve lived alone for years and enjoy it. But I have become very aware of how much contact with other people I really usually have in my life and I miss that a lot! Hang in there, Jon. And I shall also.

  3. Heard a story on CBC radio today. I am Canadian, and you know what they say about Canadians. We are almost painfully polite, and apologize when someone else bumps into us. The running joke is that you can tell a Canadian by the number of times they say, “I’m sorry,” when something is not their fault. Anyway. Back to the radio story. A woman was out walking, being correctly socially distant from others, when a distraught person approached her and asked if she had a cell phone. The person had locked keys in the car, and wanted to call someone to come with the extra set of keys. The walking woman quailed at the thought of a stranger using her cell phone, given all the dire warnings we’ve been given, and said, without thinking, “I left my phone at home,” even though she had it in her pocket. Only after did she think that she could have offered to call someone for the person. And she felt so guilty and bad about herself. That’s where we’re at, folks. It’s hard to know what to do anymore. And I totally understand the walking woman and her nervousness. I hope I could offer an alternative, but I don’t know if I could. Her story helps me think of options if I was confronted with the same situation, and I thank her for her courage in telling it. I find I drop my eyes as I maneuver by people in the grocery stores. It seems meeting eyes and smiling is almost too much these days, it’s too intimate when we are supposed to distance. And it’s painful to lose this human interaction, on top of everything else. We will come back to a time where we can hold out a hand of friendliness and kindness again. And I hope the missing of it makes us realize the import of it.

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