I got angry this morning when I learned of a friend who won’t leave her house during the coronavirus trauma because she says she doesn’t warn to harm anyone by being infected and passing it along.
This is a small town that has not had a single case of coronavirus and has so much less to fear than Seattle or New York City or San Diego or a hundred nursing homes in different places.
I’m not sure why I got upset, it’s her business to stay in her house if she wants to, it just seemed like grief stealing to me. You can get this virus by breathing, taking a walk, saying hi to the FedEx delivery person, or opening your mail.
There are a lot of sick people out there, some dying.
I am not one of them.
That is something for me to feel grateful for, not fearful about.
So far, I know of no good reason why anyone living in my small town in upstate New York should believe they must hole up in their homes for weeks or months in the public interest.
And no one I know of in any public or health capacity is asking us to.
I’m not attending any events with any number of people, that is the prudent thing for me to do. And the Mansion has banned volunteers. Good for them, and for me.
But so far, I don’t need to hide anywhere.
The people who need to stay inside know who they are in this country, the triggers are precise and well delineated. I can’t blame anyone for being a little crazy in the middle of this awful trouble.
Or for being afraid.
In an act of curious defiance – my issue – I told Maria I was going to lunch at Jean’s Place today, there are usually a lot of old farts young and married couples there gathering to talk and loving their coffee and bacon.
She was going to talk on the phone with the Good Witches she has lunched with for years because the others didn’t want to leave their homes and take the risk of seeing each other in person.
She handled it fine, but this shocked me.
I also know it is not my business to be angry at anyone for being afraid. And where she and her friends have lunch is not my business at all.
Still, I wanted to make my statement, mostly to myself. I am here, and I am alive and well. I am not an “at-risk” person, that is not who I am. Hiding is a terrible thing for me; I will never do it comfortably. If a table full of 80-year-ladies, friends for 50 years, could show up just before I arrived, I can be there as well.
I asked them if they were afraid and they laughed. “Everybody dies of something,” one offered.
Someone tells me every day that I am especially at risk from this virus, Maria worries about me, and so does my daughter and some friends as I have two chronic “underlying” diseases that make the virus dangerous.
I understand the need to take the virus seriously. And I do. I’ve read a hundred detailed essays about the virus and how it spreads.
Still, I won’t be confined to my house without someone in authority or experience who knows something telling me it is necessary. Or if I got sick or knew someone who did. Then I will do it without complaint. But with awe.
It’s a monumental thing to do.
Free-floating anxiety or media hysteria won’t do it for me.
Something concrete has to be in front of me.
I believe very little of what our President says about this pandemic, but I do think he is right when he says this will pass, and we can deal with it.
Finally, it seems that he and his government is dealing with it.
When I got to Jean’s Place, I was surprised and glad that I came.
I found my favorite diner right in the lunch hour, almost empty, and my heart sank a bit. Jean’s Place is a small community diner; it has no deep pockets or corporate resources or stashed away “assets.”
If nobody shows up, people lose their jobs and the sense of community that thrives there wobbles and fades.
How many precious community gathering places have we lost to the Corporate Nation? Jean is a miracle of survival to begin with. A giant chain franchise is right across the street.
Kevin and his family is fanatically dedicated to the diner – the sometimes indiscriminating tsunami of social isolation could blow it to pieces. It is their lives.
I needed to go to Jean’s Place today, rather than sit in my study waiting to sneeze or cough. Yes, I was making a statement, but it was more to me. The small band of us who gathered for lunch had a common understanding. It was worth the very small risk we were taking.
I’m not going hide in my house and tremble to wait.
Hiding is an awful thing, a profound act of submission; it ought never to be done casually or lightly. In the coming weeks, most of us will be called up to do things we never expected to do or wanted to do.
I will be one of them. So will everyone I know and everyone reading this.
But hiding will never be my default position.
I have no idea how many people will die from this virus, and it is not at all clear how far it will go or how deep. Kevin, Jean’s chef, and co-owner came out to say hello, and we chatted in the empty diner.
I could see he was upset.
‘This is killing us,” he said, “especially if it goes on for too long.”
He told me how they disinfect and scrub every inch of the restaurant every day all day, and I could sense he was a bit hurt that so many people were choosing to stay home and skip their breakfasts and lunches and friends.
There was one waitperson on duty.
Kevin rarely has time to come out and chat. I sat alone; there were empty tables all around me.
He hopes this won’t last long.
Me too. How long can any small business last like that?
I ordered a BLT wrap with coleslaw, now my favorite sandwich, perfectly prepared, and I thought one of the things I need to do is to go off of my farm and try to support the small businesses that have managed to survive in the Corporate Nation.
I would fight hard to help keep Jean’s around.
As the government prepares to give billions and billions of dollars to the airlines and cruise ships and other giant corporations, I just know that nobody is planning to bail out Kevin and the gang at Jean’s Diner.
We’ve all seen this movie.
The oldest story in the world – perhaps there is only the one – is unfolding in front of us again. Somehow, and every time, the rich manage to screw the poor.
I’ll be back at Jean’s Place tomorrow, and I am reminded that if I don’t get out regularly and spend a bit of my rapidly dwindling bank account, Jean’s and a lot of places like it will be killed off by the virus without being sick at all or with anyone paying much attention.
They will never be cited at a presidential press conference – big wigs only.
But community businesses are fragile, they can be gone in a blink, and when they go, they are gone forever.
I’ll be there in the morning with Maria having my egg n’ cheese with home fries on an English Muffin.
There, I said it right.
It makes *me* angry that you seem to think this is all about you—YOUR risk, YOUR fun, YOUR friends. It isn’; it’s about community spread, which effects all of us. I hooe that was a really, really great sandwich.
The sandwich was terrific, thank you, Delilah, for asking. I see that “community spread” is the favorite new term of angry people on social media, I hear it once a day now, and every day this week, and I still have no idea what it means. Honestly, Delilah, I meant the piece to be about YOU! Oh, I see, I looked it up, community spread is about how the coronavirus is spread in communities without any clear cause or foreign travel.
It just spreads in communities, I had an angry school principal mention it last night, and one of her friends before you.
What on earth does this have to do with Kevin wanting to keep his business prosperous and successful? And why are you Community Spread people so pissy? Why does it inspire a Bile Sandwich, the most popular on the Internet?
That is so sad. Wish I could be there with y’all to support Jean’s Place too. We don’t have any place like that in middle Georgia. Just heart-wrenching. Good for y’all – so glad you can go eat there.
I think they’ll be all right..all kinds of businesses are hurting…
It amazes me that people will flood Costco and Walmart to buy toilet paper and canned goods where there are crowds of people but are afraid of going to their local baker or cafe where they might run across a local and friends. I am not going to isolate in my house unless its absolutely necessary. Monday, I will be delivering food to the homebound who can’t leave because of physical ailments and illnesses. I will not let fear destroy my life. Fear is a virus that is curable.
Good point, Janet, and good for you….
Jon, if you insist on wandering around and have not yet figured out what community spread is and why avoiding social contact right now is an act of science and not fear, there’s no hope for you. Glad you’re apparently so proud of willful ignorance.
I wrote about Community Spread yesterday and today Derrick, you might want to read the posts before writing about them. Community Spread is important, and it is not helped by sending poor children out into the streets for days or weeks with no structure or supervision. I can’t think of a better definition of Community Spread…I believe in science, but obviously it doesn’t always stop ignorance..The term seems to have become a new and favored tool of the trolling assholes on social media. I believe that people like you – who can’t communicate in a civil way with any regard to facts, are even more devastating a virus and more damaging to our democracy than the corona virus…thanks for your thoughtful and use message..
I think the goal is to slow the rate of infection by avoiding gatherings. We can’t stop it, but if we slow it ,the medical services will not be overwhelmed. That’s why so many events are being cancelled and schools closed. Be grateful some choose to self isolate as they are assisting in slowing the spread. It’s all good.
My work is affected and it is sad as it was going so well for a while. But the truth is my business is up and down. It’s part of having a business, large or small, that we must sometimes roll with the punches. I don’t begrudge others their receipt of assistance. They are supporting more people than I am.
Anger isn’t good for anyone Jon. Let people do what they want to feel comfortable during this hard time. Live your own life. But please don’t be angry with others for living theirs.
Patti, I write about anger all the time, and please don’t tell me what to feel or how to write about it..(it makes me angry 🙂
I don’t believe in anger or support it, but I am human and I get angry sometimes, and when I do, I don’t lie about it, or hide it, I write about it, it helps me to process it and move forward…and I think it is quite healthy…I would never tell you what to feel or say, I would appreciate it if you did the same..And I would wish for you that you be honest when you stumble, as I try to do..And I never ever tell other people what to do or feel or, as you are trying to do to me…it would be hypocritical..P.S|Patti you also might wish to read beyond the first paragraph, you may have missed the part where I write it is wrong for me to be angry with people who are afraid or have different ideas about safety..thanks..
While I am definitely saddened by all who will be affected by this pandemic, I think it is very important for people to understand why things are shutting down and why people are being encouraged to stay put for a time. It is about slowing the spread of the disease BEFORE people in an area get affected. Looking at the horrible decisions medical staff are having to make in Italy certainly opened up my eyes. How horrific for all that the hospitals and their staffs are overwhelmed and must chose who to treat…essentially who will live or die. Medical supplies and human resources are finite and it seems important that we do all we can to prevent our medical staff from becoming similarly overwhelmed. It appears that stopping as much interaction as possible is one important, and perhaps lifesaving, way that the virus may be slowed. Helping students who are being displaced from school understand the importance of putting off interactions for a short time does not seem beyond even the young’s comprehension. I would hope we would all be willing to take a break from each other in an effort that the virus can be slowed and ultimately stopped.
Thanks, Betsy, I think we understand it well..It can’t hurt to repeat it..
Thanks for being you and being real. Your blog brings great delight to me. Blog on!
Thank you, Judy, much appreciated…Being real is important, yes?
I have seen this suggestion: To support your local restaurants buy a gift certificate now which can be used in the future. This way the establishment has the money now and you have something to look forward to in the future. You could give the certificate to someone else if you wished as well.
The airlines and other large corporations got a trillion and a half bucks in tax breaks that they didn’t reinvest but rather squandered on buying back their own shares, which have now tanked. All up in smoke. Let’s pray that any further federal largesse goes to Kevin and his employees and other struggling small businesses who don’t qualify as “big wigs” worthy of presidential fawning.
Here’s an idea….buy a gift certificate (or two) at Jean’s Place. A quick infusion of cash to help them in this difficult time.
If we all bought a gift certificate or two at our local cafes/restaurants, they might survive this troubled time.
Dear Jon,
This is a very emotional time for everyone. We want to support our friends and local businesses and also protect the vulnerable.
It’s our responsibility to find truth in what’s going on which is difficult if we don’t trust our news sources.
Here’s a very complete explanation of this virus and perhaps it will help us to make the best decisions as we progress through this together: https://medium.com/@tomaspueyo/coronavirus-act-today-or-people-will-die-f4d3d9cd99ca
Why not order your meals to go?
Stay well ?
Lisa, thanks, but in the future, please don’t post messages like this. I don’t post medical news from strangers, and I only get it from medical professionals. I gather information from experts, and follow their lead, about going out or how and where to eat. I don’t look online for direction, I have no idea who you are and you don’t know me, my health or my town and circumstances..you take good care of yourself and I will do the same. I’m not her as a medical authority, I don’t tell other people what to do.
I for one enjoy reading Jon and Maria blogs. Learning what the animals are up to, and what Jon and Maria are up to. Love the picture of your laundry blowing in the wind. Such a normal part of life. Just a suggestion, if the blog upsets you stop reading it. Quite simple really.?
Blessings to you, Marsha…a wise suggestion. I have often wondered why people who don’t like my writing just don’t go read something else, but I think the other awful virus in the nation is angry people on social media. It’s just so easy and free to be nasty. Thanks for the good words.