Like most people, I shop online for many of the things we need that are not easy to find in the country. I came across this striking idea for a necklace online for Valentine’s, and I quickly bought it for Maria.

I thought it was a no-brainer, romantic and full of real flowers.

The necklace is unusual, in that it is in the shape of a heart, but there are real flowers embedded inside.

As often happens with me, I forgot to read the fine print and didn’t know that these necklaces and other jewelry are made for people who have lost a loved one. They put people’s ashes in them.

You buy the necklace, but then get a box and put someone’s ashes inside the box and ship it back to the jewelry. They use “crellation,” a method of sprinkling some of the ashes into the jewelry, so you can wear it as a memorial to someone you love.

And then mail it back.

The company wasn’t secretive or vague, it said in big letters right on the checkout page that this was a necklace for people wishing to remember their loved ones by including their ashes in jewelry.

How could I have missed it?

I was unnerved when I discovered this, I frantically send some e-mails to the company advising them that my wife was very much alive, I had no ashes to send them.

But I loved the necklace and hoped I could still buy one for Maria.

I said I didn’t need a refund if they could still make the necklace without the ashes.

I got a lovely message back from the owner, who got a kick out of my messages. Sure, he said, we can make a necklace for you without the ashes, and he said he was glad my wife was still alive. Me too.

But, he cautioned, there would be no ashes inside. Um, okay, I said, good by me.

So yesterday, the ashless non-memorial necklace arrived. Maria promptly took it and hung it in the window as part of her windowsill gallery. This means she likes it as an odd art form but isn’t going to wear it.

She says she may wear it, someday. We’ll see. When she likes something, she puts it right and looks in the mirror. This hasn’t happened yet with the necklace. You can’t win them all.

And the most telling thing of all: she didn’t yell at me for buying it. The kiss of death.

I’m not sure what the moral of this story is other than to be careful when buying something online, I need to take my time and read the fine print.

So I’ll get to take a photo of it once in a while, it should be dazzling in the Spring.