The “Yes-No” dress has been around almost as long as I’ve known Maria. It was one of the first things she made when she moved her studio into one of my barns. I was impressed and surprised. It was a powerful piece of work, but not a subtle one.

The dress was a statement for, and I could see it took a long time to make and a lot of emotion. It showed great artistry and a lot of anger.

I thought it deserved a portrait of its own.

It sent a slight chill down my “spine.” This didn’t seem to be like somebody who was looking for a relationship with me or anybody else. Maria loved her “Yes-No” dress, she showed it at one of her first art shows,  and it came with us from the first Bedlam Farm to this one.

I couldn’t imagine trying to hug anybody in this dress, even though I knew it was not to be worn but hung out to see.

It hangs now in a place of honor just outside her studio door, warn but still proud and somewhat defiant. When I met Maria, the “Yes-No” dress was mostly a “no” work. She seemed done with men, and if I thought the dress was an angry work, she saw it as a declaration of independence.

I see the dress often, but today, I stopped to consider it, it has seen a bunch of rainstorms, snowstorms, winters, and summers, but it has lost none of its bite. A remember, perhaps, and a monument. Its color has faded, but not its spine.

I’ve warmed up to the dress over the years, I admire it’s staying power and attitude. This “Yes-No” ethos is a part of Maria and will always be a part of her, as will her anger. We have worked past it, but it will always be there.

I know the same is true of me, we both understand this about each other.

Maria has fought all of her life for her independence, and I doubt she will ever fully lower her guard. That’s what unthinking parents can do, the wounds they leave never really heal.

Maria grew up, as I did, learning to be careful, wary, sensitive and on guard. Success and age may soften the impulse, but it never goes away. I appreciate the “Yes-No” dress these days. It is getting older, like me, and it seems wiser too.