I wish I’d had a principal like Mike Tolan when I went to school. I’m glad to know him now. Merry Christmas, Mike, and thanks.

As some of you know, my initial efforts to work with the refugee community in upstate New York were complicated.

As an outsider and someone with unusual ideas about fund-raising,  I ran into a lot of suspicion, xenophobia, and sometimes open hostility about my approach to helping refugees and their families.

A program that worked well at the Mansion (a Medicaid assisted care facility) met a lot of resistance in this new venue. I had tried out my ideas at the Mansion. They had worked.

I wanted to use them again. It was not so easy.

People questioned my motives and my methods but had no problems taking the money I was raising. They couldn’t grasp that the methods and the money were tied together, that one fed the other.

For example, I insisted on meeting and interviewing everyone I raised money for.

I also insisted on taking photos of everyone I was helping and everything I was doing. I wanted both the visual and written records of the work out in the open where everyone could see them and make informed choices about the things they wished to support.

My use of Amazon Wish Lists was controversial to some; they argued it meant they could no longer control the flow of money into their organizations. The Wish Lists have been central to my work; they give a lot of the power and choice back to the people spending their money.

That was something new, and I didn’t grasp how threatening it was to the structure of some non-profit organizations, who took control of money and often didn’t account for it in any precise or easily accessible way.

I learned that people often supported Wish Lists more readily than organizations seeking funds for general use. I learned that some executives don’t like outsiders coming around.

I believe people have the right to see where their money goes and who is receiving it. They also have the right to see visual evidence showing the people we were helping and the things we are purchasing. To me, it is essential that the people we are helping are real, and have real faces, ideas, and words.

It isn’t just helping the elderly. It’s helping Sylvie and Georgianna.

It isn’t just a donation to “help refugees,” its money for Melak or Issachar.

I believe that this openness and personalization was the foundation of trust for the Army Of Good and me.

You see everything I do in pictures as well as words. This transparency was a promise I made at the beginning and have always kept except when it is not physically, legally, or emotionally possible. And then, I say so. You know everything I know.

I was discouraged by the resistance to openness I encountered and by the reluctance to showing me exactly where the money went so that I could share it with my readers.

I was taken aback by he phobias (some cultural and religious) about being photographed (I refuse to compromise on this, if people want help, I have to take their picture).

I was supposed to pass along the money and just shut up.

The non-profit idea I ran into was that money was welcome, but nothing more. There was an invisible wall I kept running into.

A year ago, I began a program to get gifted refugee students into private schools in the area. The public schools were just too large and broke and overwhelmed to give them specific language and extra attention they needed. The public school teachers were eager to help me.

All but one of the refugee groups refused to co-operate, they just weren’t interested.

I am happy to say that the refugee placement program has been successful.

Public school teachers steer gifted refugee students to me, and I fight to get the full tuition. About eight students have been admitted to excellent schools in this way.

It is too expensive for me to ask the Army Of Good to pay for full tuition for them all, I badger the schools for full tuition instead. Some of them have plenty of money. I think we respect one another.

So far, so good. I’m not all that popular in some of these schools – wealthy private schools are not my thing –  but we work together when we can.

While helping one very gifted middle school student – Eh K Pru – into the very prestigious Albany Academy (the Army Of Good raised her tuition), a school official – he and I had battled for weeks.

He suggested I talk to Bishop Maginn High School.

I had never really heard of it.

I like this administrator a lot; I suspected he was glad to be rid of me.

He’d heard that Bishop Maginn was doing great work with refugee children and thought I would fit in with the warm and informal ethos of the school. Expecting little, I called Bishop Maginn and left a voice message on the answering machine.

Mike Tolan called me back in 10 minutes.

Sure, he said, I know who you are, I read Running To The Mountain, I love Thomas Merton too. Come on over. We want some help. I was surprised and excited. Several teachers in the school have told me that the principals before Mike would never have called me back.

I did come and see him, and we just clicked.

We have very different backgrounds, yet It was like finding a brother. Mike was everything I had not yet seen: he was open, welcoming, eager to do whatever I needed to do within reason to help the children in his school.

He loved the Wish List idea; he got the significance of it instantly.

Mike said he completely supported my photograph (as long as we got permission, which we always do), he also believed in being open.

Mike introduced me to Sue Silverstein, a long-time and much-loved teacher at the school, so I would have someone inside a classroom to work with. My relationship with her has been essential in understanding what is needed and how I might do this work. I can call her anytime I need some advice, and she guides me wisely and clearly.

Mike and Sue are the real deal when it comes to helping the needy and vulnerable. They love their work; they love to do good by these children.

The three of us have to agree on every Wish List.

Sue has become a whiz at putting them together in minutes. We work well together; every Wish List has been sold out within a day or so. We are conscious of not overreaching.

Sue is a beautiful teacher and an equally impressive human being. We have become friends.

She and Mike just got me right away and understood that the photos and transparency were central to what I was going.

Sue spends all summer keeping her classroom open (without pay), so the students with no place to go can come and hang out and work on their art. She plants a considerable vegetable garden behind the school and distributes the vegetables to the homeless and food pantries.

Mike and Sue have introduced me to the teachers, urged me to teach my writing class, eagerly welcomed  Red, and now Zinnia, to the school.

Both have become good and trusted friends, and Mike Tolan is a very good man doing very good work. I admire and respect both of them. Working with them is a joy. Instead of blocking my ideas, they embrace them and support them.

I believe they feel the same way about me. Trust is essential for us to do the work together that we want to do. And Sue gently stops me cold when I suggest something stupid.

Mike sets the tone in the school; he is committed to helping children, poor kids, and refugees; his faith is not a once-in-a-while thing for him; he lives it every day.

He patrols the halls all day, knows every student by name, can talk Super Heroes or Merton with anybody. He goes to meeting after meeting.

He has paved the way for the Army Of Good and me to meet these children and the teachers, learn who needs help and what kind.

Mike admits poor refugee children whose parents have no money for tuition and then finds ways of keeping them there. We are helping. I think we have now paid or supported tuition for nine or ten students.

Mike couldn’t believe the Army of Good at; first; he said it descended on the school like a band of good-hearted angels.

I coordinate every project and idea with both Sue and Mike. Mike gets the final word.

Mike and I are planning to do some early morning meditation together. He needs it, and so do I. I cannot imagine doing his job.

Mike, I want to pass along your thanks to the Army Of Good for all the support we have received from you. You have made us possible in many ways.

I want to wish you a Merry Christmas and hope you get some rest and respite from meetings. And I want to thank you for returning my call.

You are very much responsible for the good work we have done in the school this year, and I mean to make sure you get the credit you deserve. You have a delicate, sometimes thankless job in hard times, and you handle this with grace and sensitivity.

I love you, my brother in good, you are the real deal, and thanks so much for letting me in and supporting this work. Sue,  you are my sister now, a part of my new family. I think I got it right this time and much love and Merry Christmas to you.