Until recently, belly dancing was about the last thing I would ever have imagined Maria doing. She was always especially sensitive about her body, she body-shamed herself and thought she was ugly. She didn’t care much for lessons and belong to no groups.

That changed as she found herself, devoted herself to her art, and shed herself of a family that neither got her or supported her. She has gotten stronger by the day, the year, the week.

Saturday, her dance group performed in front of the Arlington, Vt. Town Hall. The performance was just for the group, the public wasn’t expected or invited. It was the second time I’ve seen Maria and the group dance in public – men are not especially welcome, and I keep my boundaries.

It was wonderful to see Maria dance again, to see how much she has progressed, and realize how much this has meant to her.

I have seen that her belly dancing has helped her visibly and significantly as she has pulled her life together and started following her dreams, not anybody else’s dreams.

A couple of years ago, a friend invited us to see her belly dancing group perform in a lodge in Bennington. We were both shocked, I wasn’t clear in my mind about belly dancing, and neither was Maria.

We were blown away by what we saw.

We found the dancing inspiring. Women with a great attitude about themselves worked hard to learn these ancient dances, which promoted confidence, pride in one’s appearance, and a love of self and body.

Maria surprised me by signing up for the class. She is not a joiner, by nature, and isn’t crazy about teachers. I could not imagine her showing her belly off to strangers. She always thought of herself as being overweight, she is is not and was not.

Like so many women, she was not taught to love her body, or what it really meant to be beautiful.

I didn’t know if she would stay in the class once she realized how difficult this training is, and how long it takes belly dancers to learn their trade. Years and years.

And it was very hard for her. The movements, dependence on other dancers, the different parts of the body involved, were daunting. But she loved every class and never once thought of quitting. She did wonder if she could ever get really good at.

We are an impatient culture, used to instant gratification. Belly Dancing is the opposite of that, it takes many years and countless lessons to understand it and do it well.

But every week  came home delighted with the class, determined to learn, excited by what she was seeing, impressed with her teachers. She felt this was something she needed to do. She felt this was something that would be good for her. And it was, it was transformative I think.

In the early evening, I’d often  hear belly dancing music streaming on her speak in her studio, she practiced and practiced.

The longer she goes, the more she loves it, the more respect she has for her teachers, the harder she works at it, the greater the confidence and self-esteem boost the dancing has given her.

I understand that I need to keep my distance from this, she needs the space to learn it on her own, bond with her teachers and fellow dancers, it’s very much a woman’s thing, not a man’s thing, or a husband’s thing.

I have no role whatsoever to play except to cheer her on and support her in any way that is possible for me. I couldn’t be happier about it, or prouder of her.

Belly dancing is about a lot more than dancing. Come and watch this second video.