I went back to the Mansion this afternoon with a $50 Wal Mart gift card and several hundred dollars in an envelope. It was pouring and I was startled to see Nancy and Georgianna out there in the Secret Garden dodging the rain without jackets or coats.

Fate rushed over to say hello, but she got soaked. So did I.

There was no point in scolding them, I’m not their mother, and they were just having a smoke. They can and should make their own decisions for as long as they can.

I do worry about this crew sometimes, sitting out there in the cold, but they are happy and engaged, always laughing, always smiling, always talking. They have lifted up the tone of the Mansion, brought some noise and laughter there.

“You are good to me,” said Georgianna, “God bless  you.”  Bless you, back, I said. She was wearing one of the sweaters I got her, I was glad to see that. I could see that they didn’t mind the rain at all, they were happy to be outside, smoking, talking in the rain.

I found the aide who was struggling to buy food – I wrote about her earlier – and just handed it to her,  she was inside helping a resident do a puzzle. I had told her I would bring the gift card, I didn’t mention the money. She gave me a huge hug, said nothing.

I didn’t and don’t wish to embarrass her but this will give her some time to get help and figure things out and have enough food for a week or so. She is smart and tough and hard working. She just got into a hole.

Several wonderful people messaged me urging me to set up a regular food program of some kind, now and especially for the holidays.

Lovely thoughts, but I think that would not be a good direction for the Army Of Good. We fill holes in people’s loves, we commit small acts of great kindness. But I can’t take responsibility for feeding a family or other families, and I can’t ask other people to do that either.

As I’ve gotten to know the Mansion aides, I’ve learned about their own struggles and witnessed how deserving people are often underappreciated in our world. Perhaps that will change. I want to do what I can do, I know I can’t do everything I’d like to do.

I also don’t want to burnout. This is a marathon, not a sprint. I’m in it to the end.

Our money wouldn’t last long. I have to keep remembering what we can do and what we can’t, although I wouldn’t mind having a million dollars in the bank.

There is so much need out there – the rich get richer, and the poor just seem to get poorer – I think we are most effective in small ways that have larger impacts. The Mansion is a microcosm of the world beyond.

Getting a refugee kid a camera, getting sweaters and scarves for the Mansion residents, buying some new decorations for the Mansion for Christmas (theirs are pretty old and stodgy). And helping this very loving aide get some food for a week so she can get organized.

I was asked today if I could help spruce up the Christmas decorations this year, that’s right up my alley. I’ve started to look around.

But I don’t think we should get into the food pantry business, except briefly and occasionally. I feel good about what I brought here, it felt proportionate, and she was immensely grateful just for the Wal-Mart card, which is like money around here.

I don’t want to take over anybody’s life or struggles, just fill in some of the holes.

The Secret Garden club inspires me. People can find connection and community in assisted care and we can make a real difference in their lives. Thanks much.