I am deeply touched to learn that many of America’s richest corporations – they are renowned for their empathy and generosity – are worried about me this weekend. There is an intense heatwave heading for much of the United States this weekend.

So far, I’ve gotten eight separate very personal warnings from my utility, two weather channels, my health insurance company, the AARP, and my state and local governments.

The messages are not general, they are quite specific and targeting people over 65, people with heart disease, people with diabetes, people who have a history of allergies or asthma.

I’m thinking these warnings say a lot more about privacy and greed in our country than they say about the weather.

Whenever I squawk about the corporatization and profitizing of the weather – the government used to a good job of alerting me to the weather, they didn’t try to scare me to death either so that I would buy alerts and warnings – people get upset with me.

Oh no, they insist, we need more warnings and more graphic, even hysterical warnings in order to keep safe in this age of extreme weather.

I’m odd, though, I much prefer professional meteorologists to corporate actors and alarmists (storms make money, frightened people spend a lot of money.)  They warned us too, without the drama and hysteria, and our taxes paid for them.

The National Weather Service doesn’t sell advertising or warning apps stuffed with alerts and graphic videos of weather killing people. And they are free.

One doesn’t need to be a sociologist to grasp the irony: the same companies that make real health care prohibitively expensive to people who will need it this weekend  and who are pouring carbon waste into the atmosphere and warming the earth (and who sold 96 billion opioid tablets to unsuspecting Americans) and causing heat waves, are also worried about me and my health.

People would get upset with me if I told these compassionate corporations what I am really thinking: mind your own business, nobody asked you to tell me what to do when it gets this hot, you are mostly hypocrites and parasites. You are not the solution, you are the problem.

As a volunteer working in elder care, I am very conscious of the impact of extreme heat on the elderly, and as a volunteer working with refugee families, I also know the toll the heat can take on the poor and vulnerable.  And what their medicine costs them.

Perhaps the corporations might use some of their ad money to actually help people in need buy fans and air conditioners and health care at prices they can afford.

These messages do alert me to an impending “Heat Watch.” So did the cashier at the convenience store this morning where I got my coffee. She seems sincere.

These altruistic corporations suggest that I’m a person my neighbors ought to check on, as I am elderly and have not one but two chronic diseases. I’m sort of a perfect storm for warnings this weekend.

These companies seem to know all about my health, and my insurance company is worried about my keeling over with a heat stroke. They want me to stay inside. How nice.

The general idea seems to be that I should crawl into bed, sleep with a wet towel wrapped around my neck, turn the air conditioner on for several days, and not leave the house or rack up any hospital costs. And oh yes, keep an eye on my “pets.”

I’m touched, perhaps I can call these companies up and ask for a few months reprieve from paying my bills so I can go to Iceland with Maria over the weekend and ride the heatwave out. Is it the heat that’s making me caustic and skeptical?

Since we’re getting personal, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to do what Minnie and the other animals do. Find a spot in the shade, drink lots of water, stay out of the hot sun.

Unlike them,  I get to turn on the air conditioner in my study when I work and cool down. I will certainly go to the dump with Maria to take the garbage out and maybe go out to dinner. We are going to hear a friend since at a local brewery Saturday night.

She will bug me to drink a lot, and I will do what I am told. She really does care about me, that feels so different.

That’s it. It’s not very dramatic, it won’t make the weather channel or cable news, but I feel safe in thinking I’ll get through it. So will the animals. We will all be here next week when the heat wave is gone.

How thoughtful of these corporations to even pretend to worry about them.