There are few things I hate in life more than seeing an animal suffer, but I also know it is an integral part of life on a farm, life with animals, life in nature. It is as much a part of life here as are cute animals, endearing donkeys and charismatic dogs.

In my blog and life, I see to uplift people by good deeds, beautiful flowers, wonderful animals. But when the other side of life presents itself, I also feel the need to sometimes share that. We gain nothing by hiding from life.

We get enough bad news every day without me adding to that, death is always nearby on a farm.

This morning, out in the pasture, I saw Bud run over and sniff something lying on the ground. When I came over, I saw it was a possum. When I got closer, I saw it was a female possum who had just given birth, I could see her babies crawling out of her womb, trying to get some food from her teats.

We could see movement from the babies, not the mother. I went to towards the house to get my rifle, I didn’t want the mother to suffer, I though I saw her stomach rise and fall lightly.

Maria asked me to wait, she said the mother might be playing possum, something possums do when they feel in danger. They can immobilize themselves and replicate death for up to 30 minutes, according to the sites we found online.

I agreed. I respect Maria and her wishes and feelings.

As I watched, the babies stopped moving and her stomach also ceased to move. I was – am  – certain  that she and her babies are dead. It would be nice to be wrong. I hate this part of it. Seeing babies die – I remember shooting two of our sick and dying lambs – is absolutely part of the life we chose.

I won’t run or hide from that.

I can’t imagine how she died. Bud wasn’t anywhere near her until he came across her body – Bud is not a killer, he’s a chaser –  neither were was there any blood or sign of ruffled fur or other injuries.

It looked to me like she just died in childbirth, I can’t fathom what she was doing out in the open grass. I also know we’ll never know what happened. One baby seems to be alive, perhaps there is a way to save it.

Maria feels that she is alive, and that she will be moving within an hour. I think I actually witnessed her death. Whatever happened to her happened just minutes before I saw her.

I hope she is right. We live with real animals in the real world, not every animal can or should be rescued.

The pet world has embraced and enabled the idea- it is very lucrative –  that our dogs and cats will live forever, if only we hang onto them long enough and spend a fortune prolonging their lives.

Some people think it is loving to spend thousands of dollars prolonging the lives of their pets, they see it as a measure of their affection.

I think differently about it, I think it’s selfish to prolong the suffering of any animal.

I measure my stewardship by how much suffering I save animals from, not how much I prolong or embrace suffering for my own needs. I believe in an hour or so, we will see that the possum is dead and we’ll take her body out to the woods and return it to nature, as is the fate of so many animals.

In the real world, most animals are not pets, so many of them die in so many different ways.

I’m glad it was not necessary for me to shoot a mother with her babies. I think she has left this world, I see no signs of life or suffering, there is no reason to go load up the rifle. The babies are not moving in any way.

After we remove her, should it come to that, I’m heading to Albany to see Sue Silverstein and the Silverstein Art Brigade, to hand out some caps and jeans, books and supplies.

Maria is coming with me, she comes to Bishop Maginn every other week, she and Blue have connected, and both look forward to seeing one another.

Possums are spirit animals, symbols of resourcefulness.

We’re taking Sue out to lunch, then heading home. I was sorry to begin the morning in this way, but I am not superstitious, I do not believe in omens. And who knows, maybe this mother is playing possum and will be off and back to her nest by the time I finish writing this.

So there it is, life and death all in one morning, more lessons from the farm. Life and death are not different things, but two parts of the same thing. Animals teach me that all the time.

(P.S. The Bishop Maginn High School Wish List is down to two items – six $25 Amazon Gift Cards, and two $200 Acer Chrome laptop computers.  All of the school supplies the school asked for have been purchased and sent. Thank you so much for your support.)