I’m learning that our relationships with dogs can be just as complex – and perhaps insoluble – as our relationships with people and family. Maria thinks I an often annoyed with Fate, I yell at her sometimes, I treat her differently than I treat Red or Bud.
I have to concede that this true, if perhaps more complex.
We bring our stuff onto our dogs in the same way we do it to partners or family, or even our own children. I think life is like a video stream sometimes, it is really one story, acted out in different ways, over and over again.
I think I was disappointed that Fate would not or could not work the sheep. I so admire Red’s work ethic, and even little Bud takes his Terrier work – keeping rodents away from the farmhouse – very seriously. Fate just doesn’t.
Fate and I could not work out the sheepherding stuff, and she is a beautiful and strong dog from Wales with enormous instincts and agility.
Karen Thompson, the breeder who gave Fate to us, suggests that I just couldn’t train her for this work, perhaps because I just can’t move fast enough any longer. Karen knows her stuff, I am sure she is right.
But Fate is a very special and different kind of dog. She is astonishingly bright, and has become a wonderful dog for Maria, hanging out in her studio, walking comfortably and easily in the woods. Maria has no issues with Fate, she just adores her, and vice versa.
Away from the sheep, she is calm and responsive.
She is also rebellious and sneaky, two traits that sometimes bug me. She steals food off of counters and table tops (since she never does it when we are home, I know she knows better), and sometimes, she just decides to blow off commands she doesn’t want to obey – like leaving the pasture.
I think I need to improve myself a bit with Fate, I have some more work to do on myself (is that ever over, I wonder? I see that it is not. Sometimes I am just so sick of me.)
But every dog I have ever had has made me a better human. To get the dog you want, you almost have to be a better human.
Sometimes, when scolding Fate, I think I sound like my father scolding me. That is not who I wish to be. And she is a remarkable dog, she deserves better. Because I do love Fate very much, we have a very powerful connection to one another.
Recently, I’ve been thinking more seriously about whether she could make a good therapy dog. She loves people, loves being touched by them. She is more high-strung than Red, not as totally responsive.
But today I’m taking her over to the Mansion for my weekly reading to see if this is a good idea, given some training. Fate saw some of the residents yesterday when they came to the farm for a picnic, and everyone loved her.
She loves attention, and after the excitement of the meeting wears off, she can be very calm and still.
There is a strong sweetness in Fate, a gentleness that I think is the real reason she doesn’t want to push the sheep around, I accepted this in her rather than risk breaking her.
I do think it bugged me in certain ways, I’ve trained several border collies to herd sheep and my ego may have been bruised. She is the smartest dog I have ever had, and I’ve had a lot of very smart dogs.
I have a strong work ethic, I tend to love respect dogs with a strong work ethic.
So today offers a chance for me to better myself and offer her some work that she might love. I want to trust her and watch her closely. There can be no jumping on people – the skin of older people can be thin and fragile, they can also be knocked down easily. Red sensed all of this without being told, and I want to see of Fate can be as intuitive, or close to it.
Red is a hard act to follow. The kind of therapy work I want to do – hospice work, the elderly – is not about walking through a building. It requires great communication between owner and dog, absolute obedience, and an innate and deep sensitivity.
I don’t want to fail with Fate again, for her sake or mine. I want to succeed.
And I want to be better and do better. I don’t want to put any of my s— onto one of my dogs. And I know Red can’t do this work much longer, he can’t see and tires quickly.
Wish us lucky, I have a good feeling about it.
(since she never does it when we are home, I know she knows better)…read a research paper several years ago from Duke where they are studying dogs…they concluded that dogs associate rules with the people who make them…thus when you leave your rules leave with you and no longer apply to the dog left alone thus they will go on the furniture but jump off as soon as you reappear…or take food off the counter.
Eva, thanks for your comments. My new rescue who is absolutely delightful and well trained in most all ways, gets on the furniture she’s not allowed on and counter surfs but ONLY WHEN I”M NOT HOME! The Duke paper leaves me something to think about.
Eva thanks for that very interesting post, something to mull. I have to say that is not my experience. I’ve trained four or five dogs out of snatching food off of the counter. To me, it is all about taking the opportunities away from them, not letting them slip into that habit. Dogs love tradition, once they start to do something it is hard to break them of the habit. If they don’t get to do it in the first place, they most often won’t. We make sure there is nothing on any counter for dogs to grab, from the moment they enter the house. The only dog we have had trouble with is Fate, who is wicked smart and enterprising. Fate will never snatch food when anyone is in the house, which undercuts the Duke theory. We keep the counters clean and crate her when we are out. Works well.
I remember, when you adopted Fate, that she was to be Maria’s dog, and you said you would not be training her to work with the sheep.
It was only when Fate showed you, that she wanted to be ” with the sheep”, that you let her into the pasture.
I think she is exactly the dog you wanted her to be…….?