Before he got sick, I could leave Red out with the sheep for hours, knowing he would never move without being recalled. Sometimes, in a storm or when the phone rang, I would come in the house and forget about him, he was so still.
Hours later, I’d noticed he wasn’t lying by my side, as he always was, and I’d rush out to the pasture and find him right where I left him, sometimes covered in snow.
When Maria and I bring him out to the pasture now, it is important for me to stand with him. This morning, I left him to go get a different camera lens, and when I came back, he was lying by the fence, waiting for me.
He never, ever, left the sheep without my calling him off. This is very different. It means he is anxious, confused by his poor sight and weak back. I can only imagine how frightening and disorienting that is for him.
I owe it to Red to stand with him out there. I owe it to Red to keep him from suffering a minute longer than is necessary.
I owe it to Red to not subject him to frightening and complex surgeries at the hands of strangers.
I owe it to Red to not grieve for too long or too deeply for him, as he and his life deserve so much more than misery and lament, I owe it to him to celebrate his life and our lives together and always remember the joy and pleasure he brought me and others.
Red has always lived in service to other people, me and too many others to count. This is the time to pay what I owe.
I don’t wish to see him lying by the gate again, waiting for me.
You have come to the crossroads with Red. Your compassion for him is heartwarming. He is in good hand with you. Wishing him and you the best.
Beautifully said! My heart breaks for all of you. I always look forward to opening up FB and seeing your posts.
If you are seriously contemplating euthanasia, you certainly don’t need validation from your readers. I personally am always in favor of listening to our hearts and reading the signals of our companions. They tell us when it is time to move on. It was a pleasure to have met Red on numerous occasions. I say this with, perhaps an premature finality, but my hubby and l don’t get out much anymore, so we wouldn’t see Red anyway. Godspeed…….
Thanks Barby, I appreciate the thoughts. I never seek validation from other people for decisions about my dogs or any of our animals, it’s our responsibility and we take it seriously. Not for anyone else to say.
My BC, Duffy, is 14. He is always at my side but these days more than ever. Like your Red, his sight and hearing are not what they were and the world confuses him sometimes. Last night, during a thunderstorm my husband sat up with him in a dark room. My rock solid boy was agitated and couldn’t settle.
Thank you for your posts about Red. It warms me to know someone else is in this process and your words encourage me. I owe Duffy so much but most importantly, my love and his dignity.
I couldn’t agree with you more.
Thank you Jon, you are such a truth teller and inspiration to me. I have much the same feeling, With all of the animals I have had the good fortune to be associated during my lifetime, I have always felt it was my responsibility to enable my animals to live their best life. When I that is no longer possible, it is my responsibility to assist them into the next plane.
Lucky animals, Marilyn..
You write so sensibly about this time in Reds life , the many lives he has touched with you at his side .
I have been so fortunate to your blog and gain a new perspective on myself and others. I have always known that humans can and should learn from the animals that we share our life with . You have written about in a way that is at times inspirational. Thank you
Jon , your dogs , cats, donkeys and sheep and of course Maria ❣️
Thanks Colleen, that is valuable to for me to hear..
I hear you, John. You’re a good human. He’s a good dog. What a beautiful team to witness. Thanks for sharing.
Jon, sending love your way.
Very heartfelt Jon, we all owe it to our dogs to keep them safe in mind and body..this is a new learning process for you with Red as an old dog..anxieties can be rampant unfortunately for old dogs, even without loss of sight. When they have been your constant companion for so many years and their world begins to change with their body, it is sometimes hard for us to catch on immediately to some of these often subtle changes until they “smack you in the face”.. Red is lucky to have you..
Thanks Christine, I appreciate the perspective..
I remember when you got Red. He has been an amazing companion, which is so obvious. Treasure this time.
Thanks Deborah..
you “ground” each other……. and Red will reap the benefits of being close to you now. I believe it will be as meaningful to you as it is for him…..to enjoy this important time together, as I know you both will.
Susan M
Jon, I always loved your blog but once Red arrived, I was so involved in the life of Red. He is a very special dog. I only know him through your photos and words. You paint him in a beautiful light. So many people love him. He is loyal and so very special. he is a gift that we probably will never witness again. it is sad that he is in the autumn of his life, but his life is a blessing to all. Thank you for allowing us the privilege of being part of Red’s life.
It is such a hard thing, letting go. I was able to get through both of mine because of the experiences and insight you have given me over the past too many years to count. I send love and peace your way. Thank you for always sharing your thoughts, your animals, your love, your life and your wife!