Thomas Merton, the Trappist Monk, author and philosopher has been one of the most important influences in my life. I wrote a book about him, I have read him more or less every day for many years, through bright and dark days.

He has written that we each get to choose the narrative of our lives, our story, and we can, if we choose to,  try to live our own narratives, not the narratives other people choose for us.

I didn’t really have a clear narrative until recently, but now, I think I’ve found my story, my calling.

I am getting closer to putting together the life I always wanted, and better late than never. My narrative is to write and tell stories, to love my life with Maria, to live among nature and our partners on the earth, the animals. And to do good, every day, if possible.

I am feeling strong, creative, I am coming to understand why I am here, and what I can do to be fulfilled, for my life to have meaning.

I accept and  value my aloneness and accept me for who I am. I no longer need the acceptance of others.

Our job, writes Merton, is to share and be good to others without stopping to judge others or to ask ourselves whether or not they are worthy.

That is not my business, and in fact, it is nobody’s business. What we are called up to do is to do good, to love when and where we can. I am no saint and have no need to be seen as one.

I do not need to understand or know precisely what is happening or exactly where I am going. What I need to do is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the moment, by today, and to embrace them with as much courage, faith and hope as I can gather.

My strength comes from this.

I have found my story, my narrative, after searching and stumbling for so many years, and it feels right, it fits. For the first time in my life, I am at peace in my own skin, I no longer lie to myself or to other people.

I am chasing the sun, like a dog or a cat, and my narrative is coming out of the fog and into the light. Every day, I recognize the possibilities and challenges of my life, I embrace them with courage, faith and hope.