I’m not sure I ever had a dog whose impending loss was so clear for so long and with so much warning. This is a new and painful experience for me. On our walk and on the farm, we saw this week that Red cannot run any longer and cannot walk very far without lying down, apparently in pain.
This is the first time he has not been able to walk quickly or run, a new chapter in his decline.
I am not reminded many times every day just how rapidly Red is failing.
Even at the Mansion, he has to lie down several times before moving down a hallway. I’m not sure how long we can even bring him to the Mansion in good conscience, and that is already troubling the residents.
I do need to consider their feelings as well as mine. They are beginning to notice his struggles to move and see and hear. They are sensitive to that.
More and more, I am wondering how long to subject him to this pain and discomfort. He is still well aware of me and Maria, he still insists on being near me, I can still get him into and out of the car.
I do not share the growing idea that our job is to keep the animals we love alive by all means at any cost for as long as possible. As Red’s steward, I must take into account his own pain and comfort and sense of being alive and having dignity in the world.
If Red can’t do anything but lie still day and night, that is not, for me, a meaningful life. I’m not there yet, but I am beginning to understand that his suffering is a constant in his life, not an episode any longer.
I am beginning to feel that I will have decisions to make, along with Maria, in the not too distant futur.
The moral challenge is for me to do what is best for him, not for me. I have lost a lot of dogs I loved, and the pain of that is real. But I also feel strongly that Red’s life is worthy of joy and celebration, I will not make it into a tragedy or misery because it has to end.
Red is connected to more people than any dog I have known. Rose was very much my dog, not anybody else’s dog. Red belongs to a good chunk of the world.
We all have to end, grace for me is dealing with this thoughtfully, honestly, and out of love for an animal who has given me and many other people his life and his heart. Tonight, I’ll try and get him to Bingo at the Mansion, but I have the sense this may be one of his last visits there.
I want to deal with this openly and with care. I want to do for him what he has always done for me and many others – in a loving and giving way.
CBD oil is wonderful for pain and inflammation and could help him a lot. Just a thought as I use on some of my older dogs.
I’ve learned that a little to soon is always more kind than a little too late. God bless you all on this part of the journey.
I firmly believe our pets let us know when they are ready to go. You are so in tune with Red you will know when the time is right for him – not you.
This is a sad, hard road. I went through it with my last Boston Terrier. I had really hoped she’d live longer than 13, but she declined and lost function over her last 2 years, starting with her hearing. Can Red be put on daily pain meds to make his life easier? Just a thought.
Nora Schoonmaker
Just yesterday we had to help our 13.5 yr. old bc mix, Oliver, over the Bridge. He was having neurological problems with his back legs. We knew no more walks, ball chasing, and barking at people on the street would devastate him, as his condition would only worsen. That was it…we were with him till the end. No more pain for him. We, however, are hurting.
I know you will make the right decision at the right time for Red. He has had a wonderful life. I have been reading your blog for many years. You are correct in saying Red is connected to many people. I for one amongst many others. Thank you so much for sharing.
Lots of support and hugs from someone who deals with this far too often. I love the way you speak your heart.
It sounds as if the suffering is outweighing the joy. A good way to come to the decision. I agree with your philosophy.
Red is your dog and it’s obvious how much you care for him. Only you know what is right and when. I’m so sorry. Red is yours but the grief—it is collective.
The toughest decision, a pet owner ever has to make. They are never here long enough, hugs to you.
Red is a most special dog, indeed, and your love and caring for him has shone through your blog over the years. The connection you have with him is very special, and the decision you’re facing is hard. Red relies on you to do the right thing for him at the right time. Know that many supportive thoughts are sent your way.
You will know when the time is right to let go of ‘Your Good Boy’. Thank you for sharing him and your journey.
Watching such a loved dog go downhill is so difficult! While it’s a shock, in the long run it’s easier on us when they go quickly. I’ve been in both situations and I know just how hard it is to decide when is the right time. I know that you will do the right thing for Red.
CBD oil has given new life to my friend’s elderly Border Collie. She had trouble just getting up and now, with CBD, she is running all over the place. It has given her some more quality time for now, at least. We know the end will eventually come, though, but she is enjoying a little more time with us!
I have been reading about Red ever since he came to Bedlam Farm, and I know, as well as all of your other readers how magnificent he is. He is a dog of great intelligence, sensitivity and intuitiveness; a true gift to the world. His departure, when it comes, will leave a void, but one filled with joyful memories. Last November we had to put down our Lab who would have been fifteen in January. Like Red we saw him as one in a million. He loved people, other dogs, walks, rides and being loved. I never had a big dog before, but when he would come into my little office and rest his head on my lap I would melt. I had lost many dogs before Riley, but none like him. He was six when my son gave him to me and we bonded from the start. When the time came I realized the importance of his leaving the world with his dignity intact. He could no longer stand, let alone walk and I knew it was time. Many of the lessons I have learned about dogs, I learned from reading your books and blogs. You taught me what was right not for me, but for the love I have for my animals. Thank you Jon. My heart goes out to you, Maria, the Mansion residents and all those who love Red. Bud has been a loyal friend to him too. Red has been a lucky dog to live in the Peaceable Kingdom and we, too have been most fortunate. Your choice and time will be the right one and Red will rest without pain.