We love our dogs and our cats and more and more, we need them in our disconnected world. As I wrote in the New Work Of Dogs, the work of animals – especially dogs – is changing.

We don’t need them to hunt and protect us from wild animals, we need them to provide emotional support and unconditional life in a jarring and divided world. As a result we are turning them into mirror images of us,  empaths, psychics, intimate friends, even sources of wisdom and sanctity.

To me, the idea that we are using dogs as substitutes for humans in our lives is  disturbing, but it is also epidemic and increasing. Dogs are much simpler than us, purer if you like, they are our partners on the earth, not our siblings or children.

The science of emotions when it comes to dogs is not simply a spiritual thing to me, it is a scientific thing, and I believe in science. I would prefer to talk with a vet about my dog’s health than an amateur diagnostician on Facebook.

We have degraded our respect for learning so radically that this is a shocking idea to many people online.

And so many of our presumptions about a dog’s emotions are just that, presumptions: they come out of our need, not their heads.

The possibility that animals experience emotions the way we do has always made trained biologists and behaviorists – the honest ones, at least – nervous. Animals are not able to report on their feelings, and the existence of complex feelings  suggests a level of consciousness that dog lovers are eager to adopt but scientists are unwilling to grant.

It is increasingly common for some researchers and animal lovers to oooh-and-aaaah at all the things dogs possess that we never knew they possessed: elaborate vocabularies, sophisticated emotions, highly developed consciousness.

For me, that is giant hole just waiting for animal lovers to fall into.

The complex part of this discussion is how much animals act like us , share our physiological reactions, have similar facial expressions, access the same sort of brains, how could their innermost feelings be radically different from ours?

It is confusing, it is so simple to just stop thinking and say, “wow, I know they are just like us.” We need so badly to explain our great love of these creatures.

Neuroscience has abandoned the idea that feelings arise in the parts of our brains that are similar to dogs.  They come from much deeper inside of the brain. It is possible, say scientists, that feelings are an essential part of our emotions.

But as biologists like Frans de Waal have written (Mama’s Last Hug),  most of our chatter about dogs (“I know he grieves, I know he is jealous of other dogs”) is still just speculation.

Despite the enthusiastic assertions of animal lovers, there is really little evidence that it is true. Beware of it, if you really want to understand how your dogs think, and what kind of consciousness they really have.

The feelings of a dog are much less accessible to scientists – and to us – than emotions. We have no way of accurately measuring the private experiences of other species, writes de Waal. We can only measure what is visible on the outside, and a dog’s emotions, like a human’s, are visible on the outside and can be seen and understood by scientists.

A feeling can be a physical sensation, like the touch. Or it can be an emotional state or reaction. An emotion is a mental state attached to the nervous system associated with thoughts, feelings, behavioral responses, and a degree of pleasure or unhappiness.  Emotions require thought or a some mental process.

An instinct is the tendency of an organism to make a complex and specific response to environmental stimuli that does not involve thought or reason.

Feelings cannot be seen, only described. Since dogs don’t speak in our language, we just can’t know for sure what they are feeling.

Scientists are careful to say what they don’t know. Many dog lovers are quick to say they know. That is the difference, that is the problem.

I always try to remember that dogs are among the most manipulative creatures on the earth. They play me in a way I would never permit people to do.

They have thrived beyond the wildest hopes of any other animal by adapting to us, learning to show us the emotions we care about and need. In this way, they have survived and prospered more than any other species but the cat. When I come home from an excursion, my dogs line up to kiss my beat, squealing and barking and practically giggling with happiness.

Ah, they miss me, they love me, they are overjoyed to see me.  That makes me very happy. What human doesn’t want to think that when they come home? My wife says hi, and gives me a kiss or a hug, or shouts a welcome from across the room. It’s different. So what is love and what is instinct?

They become what I need them to become, they show the emotions that will trigger love and approval in me. And so I feed them and give them treats and attention. And buy expensive dog beds for them.

When I am trying to gauge my dog’s emotions, I look to see if their ears are up or down, where they tail is, how excited and aware they are, or how wary and guarded. I’m not trying to guess what they are feeling deep inside, because I have no way of knowing.

I have no way of measuring their feelings, I just don’t know what they are. I see a number of emotions displayed on the surface: hope, excitement, generosity, empathy,  affection, arousal, fear and aggression.

Scientists like Van der Waal claim that a science of the emotions will be the next frontier in the study of animal behavior.

“While we are well under way in discovering al sorts of new cognitive capacities,” he writes. “We need to ask what is cognition without the emotions?  Emotions infuse everything with meaning and are the main inspiration of cognition (cognitive mental processes), also in our lives. Instead of tiptoeing around them, it’s time for us to squarely face the degree to which all animals are driven by them.”

I may not live to see that frontier crossed when it comes to animals. In the meantime, I respect the differences between dogs and us, they are not us, they are not like us, even when they reflect us or mirror us.

And I respect what I don’t know.

Those are the favorite words of every great mind I have ever thought about or read about. I might be a genius, because I say it 100 times a day.