“Grow Old With Me, The Best Is Yet To Be…” — Robert Browning

Ruth and Wayne’s commitment ceremony is less than two weeks away, and I’m determined to do it justice, as the person who is officiating and planning the ceremony.

I’ve talked to Wayne and Ruth a dozen times, we’re worked out flowers, clothing and food. The ceremony is a challenge for me, because commitment ceremonies are, by nature, free form and generally averse to too much ceremony

Wayne and Ruth have been a couple for about six months, and I have the pleasure of watching this relationship grow and deepen. Whenever I come to the Mansion, I see them sitting together and holding hands.

At the Mansion, aging can be lonely, even in a community. It is a lift to see two of the residents fall in love and want to make a commitment to one another. I don’t want to overdo it, but I do want to do it well.

I’ve ordered the carnations and other flowers Ruth requested – she has a pretty clear idea of what she wants the ceremony to be like.

Wayne, who has never been married or had a partner to live with, has asked for certain clothes, and he has asked me to be his best man, which has humbled me. He also is concerned that I give Ruth the ring, since he can’t place it on her finger,  his hands shake.

I’ve ordered a 9″ chocolate olive oil cake with about 30 cupcakes. I’ve got about 50 readings and love poems to sort through, choose from, distribute and read. I’d like the ceremony to be about 15 minutes. I’ll explain what a commitment ceremony is and offer some readings – including one from Gabriel Garcia Marquez that I love from 100 Years Of Solitude.

Ruth wants three Mansion staffers and one resident to read at the beginning of the service.

“Madly in love after so many years, they enjoyed the miracle of loving one another, and they grew to be so happy that even when they were two older people they kept on blooming like little children and playing together like dogs..”

Pending their approval, I’ve chosen this ring ceremony vow for them to read or have read:

“With this ring,

I give you my heart,

I promise from this day forward,

You shall not walk alone,

May my heart be your shelter,

And my arms  your home.”

Thanks to the good people in the Army Of Good who sent a wedding dress for Ruth, and who have been sending napkins, banners and wedding favors. They are appreciated. If you have more, you can send them to The Mansion, The  Ceremony, 11 S. Union Avenue, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.

Thanks so much, I’m hoping this will be simple and sweet. It touches me.