In my weekly readings and Thursday in my meditation class, I told the Mansion residents the story of my friend Cynthia Daniello, who has been fighting the decision by the management of her independent living facility in Virginia to ban individual gardens and all bird feeders from the 50 residences owned by Joseph’s Dream in Bedford Virginia.

Cynthia,  who is 84 and who needs a wheelchair somehow became the head of the resistance to these arbitrary rulings, issues with no warning and little if any dialogue.  Her residence became a meeting grown, there were people in it day and night.

She has just started her own blog, My Never Ending story, and can be e-mailed at [email protected]. She writes about her life and about animals.

Many of the residents were reduced to tears at having to take their bird feeders down, a number of birds came to their feeders every year, and they knew them by name. Many were terrified they might be thrown out if they protested.

The residents were horrified when they were told they had to remove their individual gardens, that all flowers had to be approved by management and be of the same height.

The managers of the complex – I spoke with one at great length – were bewildered by the anger and sadness among the residents, thanks to Cynthia they eventually backed down on the gardens (but not the height rule) but demand that the feeders come down. The residents were told they will now be inspected three times a year and those with three violations of the rules might face eviction.

I told this story to the Mansion residents and asked what they thought. Most shook their heads. One said it was very sad, her heart broke a bit for the residents there, she knew how they feel.

It is hard, she said, to keep your dignity when you get older. You feel vulnerable and frightened to challenge the people who have power over you. “And everyone has power over us,” said another, “because we can’t care for ourselves.”

Several said they could not imagine that happening at the Mansion, where they were encouraged and supported in working in their big garden and planting whatever they wished.

“People sometimes don’t understand that we need to be around living things,” said one. “We need to see things grow because we can’t grow, we are not growing any more, only shrinking.”

It’s hard to keep your dignity, said another, when you have to go to the bathroom all the time and need help to get dressed or shower. They were all surprised that anyone would take the birds and gardens away from the people who loved them.

When I passed along these arguments to the managers at Joshua’s Dream, they seemed to simply dismiss them, as if they had never heard them before or they didn’t matter. They would only talk about the rules.

These are the new roles, and everybody had to follow them. They would be happy to talk to the residents about it, but there was no talk of changing the rules.

I have become very conscious of the dignity of the residents. I listen to them, take their worries and complaints seriously, I make sure to ask their opinions of things, even if they can’t always answer. I always remember many can’t hear well, so I need to speak slowly and carefully.

I like the Mansion for many  reasons. One is that there is this idea that the  residents have rights. They need to be consulted on decisions affecting them, they need to have a say, their creativity and individuality needs to be reinforced whenever possible, not discouraged or dismissed.

We had a good talk about dignity at the Mansion this week, everyone sent their good wishes to Cynthia. “Please thank her for sticking up for all of us.” I will do that.

(P.S. The Mansion is looking to hire health aides, for the Mansion itself and for their new memory facility, about to open, if there are any health aides out there, you can call The Mansion at 518 677 3711.)

If you wish to support my work at the Mansion, and the work of the Army Of Good (there is a lot happening in Spring, and a lot of needs) you can contribute via PayPal, [email protected] or by check Jon Katz, Mansion Fund, P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y. 12816,