Frances Brummer, a member of the Army Of Good,  sent me this dress from Ontario, Canada, it arrived yesterday. The dress is from India, it belonged to her late sister, who never got to wear it.

She thought it might be something Ruth might want to wear for her Commitment Ceremony. It will happen, Frances, I thank you, so does Ruth.

Ruth had told me she had a Commitment Ceremony Dress (this new one  came with pants and a beautiful shawl,) but I went right over to the Mansion and she just lit up when she saw it.

Ruth always asks me four questions when I give or offer her something.

How much will it cost, and will she have to pay for it?

Can she keep it after she wears it?

Can she really keep it after the wears it?

Does she really not have to pay for it?

I think Ruth has not been given many things in her life for free, she is always incredulous when she gets  something nice for free. And she has little money to buy things.

I imagine she has no idea who I am or where I came from, but she and I have formed a strong and open bond.

This is a very special gift. “I’ve never worn a thing as  beautiful as this is,” Ruth said, disbelieving.

She immediately told Wayne to close his eyes and get out of the room – at these kinds of ceremonies, she said, the man is not supposed to see the ceremony clothes before the ceremony itself.

Ruth is very keen on ceremony, she wants this one to be special. I will try to honor that.

We are grappling a bit with the wordage of a Commitment Ceremony rather than a Wedding Ceremony, I am now the official event planner. I’m planning a 20 minute ceremony that is simple.

I’m selecting poems and readings, I’ll write an oath just for the two of them, but as I’ve explained to them, a Commitment Ceremony is not legally binding, and there is no wedding certificate, they each are free to separate at any time. There is no need for a divorce.

I’m also collecting some poems and writings about love and commitment.

My oath will go something alone these lines: “…do you promise to love and respect one another, and share your lives for as long as you can, and as long as you wish…?” As Best Man, I’m also holding the ring, since Wayne can’t hold a ring steady.

I was happy to see Ruth so excited. She said the dress was perfect for her. She wanted to show the dress to the Mansion aides and her friends. It fits her very well.

It think it is wonderful and quite beautiful that these two people are celebrating love in a place where love sometimes fades. The other residents are excited. Ruth was married for 22 years, her husband Ken died last year. Wayne has never been married.

The ceremony feels very real to me, nobody can predict the future, surely not me, but they both are very clear about it, and I am determined to prepare a simple and lovely ceremony for these two. Wayne in particular has no one in the world to worry about him or care for him.

I want him to relish this ceremony, Ruth will, I am sure. I’ve found a good florist, baker and singer. I’ve got poems and commitment quotes to give to the wedding party – staff and friends –  to read.

If you wish to contribute to this Commitment Ceremony, this celebration of love at any age, you can donate via Paypal, [email protected] and also by check, Jon Katz. Commitment Ceremony, P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.

People are welcome to send decorations cards or congratulations or banners posters and  favors to: Commitment Ceremony, The Mansion, 11 S. Union Avenue, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.