I want to offer the Army Of Good an update of sorts, one of my perennial reports on the too-many-to-count  small acts of great kindness we have undertaken over the past few years.

We have fulfilled our promise to do good rather than argue about what good is, and for me, it is just the beginning.

My focus has changed, I have learned a great deal about sharing and giving, I have grasped the real value of stepping outside of myself and becoming more aware of the needs that exist in others, especially those I can help alleviate.

I am understanding what my life is about, thanks to you.

I am asking for less money, and spending less money on our projects of good,  yet doing more good than ever. I feel my work is more focused, more efficient, more thoughtful. I’ve shifted gears in ways that are obvious to many, but need to be explained, honestly and openly.

You deserve that.

For some time, people were coming to me for help and I was writing a lot of big checks, It was exciting, dramatic, and we did quite a bit of good. When the Mansion residents need us during their long evacuation last month, we were there, every day.

But I realized over time that while I was asking for a lot of money and spending a lot of money on behalf of the refugees, it wasn’t having the effect I sought, it wasn’t lasting help. This couldn’t be just about money, the needs are so great, our resources too small.  It was just never enough.

In this world, money is radioactive. I was uncomfortable asking for much so often, it wasn’t all about money, there is not enough money in my world to meet those needs.

Money is an explosive and volatile and difficult issue in the refugee world, and I can’t blame them. They need everything, and are under siege in every way. I don’t blame them for wanting and needing more than I could give.

I ultimately chose to abandon working with RISSE, the refugee and immigrant center in Albany, they care and do wonderful work and are worthy of support, but I could not overcome the bureaucratic hostility there towards me, and the paranoia and suspicion that swirls around anything to do with money there.

I didn’t write about this earlier  because I hope people will continue to contribute to them and support them, I didn’t wish to discourage that, and I still don’t. They help people in very direct ways when no one else is. They don’t have to like me to be worthy.

The refugees and their children are in desperate need, RISSE is one of the very few institutions that offers real and urgent assistance every day. The  hostility to me and the way I work was just not something I could overcome or had ever encountered – I am committed to transparency, and I have promised that the people who send me money will always get to see – in words and photos – where the money is going and what for.

That became impossible there, I simply couldn’t accept  their xenophobic views of fund-raising, and their unrelenting suspicion of me.  I am fortunate to have been trusted wherever I have worked, so this was a new thing for me.

They could not accept my independence or ideas about openness, despite the fact we raised tens of thousands of dollars for them.

I don’t wish to go into any further detail, I’ve let go and moved on.  But I’m not quitting on the refugees.

I mention this all not because I relish an argument, but because you do have a right to know. You made all of this good work possible, and your money did do a lot of good, and still does.

Transparency is not simple or easy, but I am committed to it.

My relationship and beautiful friendship with Ali did not survive either, a painful thing for me, and I imagine, for  him.  I thought of him as a brother. The refugee children deserve better all around. Adults should do better, but this is difficult ground to navigate.

Money will always be a difficult issue in a community that has so little and needs so much.

You can always support the children at RISSE by supporting their Amazon Wish List. which I suggested to them. I will continue to support it,  even thought the director of RISSE will not permit me to take photographs there, so I can’t show you where your money is going.

As a result, I am continuing this work on my own, mostly by starting a program to get full scholarships for gifted refugee children. I am off to a great start, after many fits and starts and more  phone calls than I can count. I do work better alone, I need the freedom.

I’m talking to several private schools who want to participate in this program, and have found several public school teachers willing and eager to help me fight prospective students for these scholarships.

We have already paid the tuition shortfall for one student, Sakler Moo, for two years.  We’ve also paid for his meals all year. And a second student, the gifted Eh K Pru, who spent a decade in a refugee camp, is talking to the Albany Academy about going there on a full scholarship.

If it works out, she might need some help.

But this program is carefully designed to shift the brunt of the fund-raising onto the school, not to you good people. If you wish to help, there will be opportunities to do that. Those envelopes with $5 and $10 and those life-saving checks make this world go around.

I hope this refugee student scholarship program can continue year after, that is what I am working towards.

The Mansion work has been glorious from the beginning, so affirming to me.

From the first, I have been trusted, granted freedom to write about life there, and supported in every, just what I hoped would happen with the refugee work. But you have to take life as it comes, not as you would like it.

I have learned a lot in the past few years about how to really help the extreme elderly, not just talk about it. I am getting there, with your help.

The Mansion work has only deepened and also become more focused. I make four visits a week to the Mansion. I read stories to them on Tuesdays. I run a new Mediation Class on Thursdays, Maria and I run a Bingo game on Fridays.

Most of the things I do are free, they cost nothing. I do seek to fill the holes in the residents lives. This is a Medicaid facility, it does not attract wealthy people. They often need real help, not just hugs and dogs. The staff are mostly a bunch of angels, working grueling hours for little money. They are great.

One afternoon a week Red and I make the rounds and visit the residents who would like some private time with him or me. As I have come to know the Mansion residents and staff and win their trust, they come to me for help when they need it. Their requests are simple and necessary, I never (only once) feel taken advantage of.

This week, I am buying bras, socks, a new wristwatch, large print books, puzzles and art supplies, two pairs of sneakers and some Spring pajamas. I’ve also bought two computer games and four DVDs, and distributed some notecards and stamps.

We have brightened their world and brought them comfort and support at a landmark time in their lives.

I think the Mansion work is going beautifully, my love for the place has only grown and I am always looking for new ways to be helpful in a rational, emotional and material way. I mix the real with the spiritual, I feel good about it. Rather than suspicion, I am welcomed with open arms.

Again, thanks for your support. Donations trickle in, thank you.

While I am asking for less money and spending less, I do need some help and continue to ask for your financial support, from my precious $5 donations to the checks that mean so much to this work. We are heading into Spring, and the residents will need some help, some new clothes and shoes, some outings into the world, maybe a $500 boat ride on Lake George in June.

I’ve started saving for that.

You can donate via Paypal, [email protected] or by check, Jon Katz, The Mansion Fund, P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.

Thanks, it was time for an update, I hope it is helpful. If you have any questions, feel free to e-mail me at [email protected]. And thanks for sharing this extraordinary experience with me, there is great love passing between us and out into the world.

This is about lowering my head and plowing in. I will never stop.

As the Kabbalah teaches, I can accept now that the mistakes and confusion and  pain I suffered early in life was the price of positive change and fulfillment. This – not anger or pain – is my true destiny.

Transformation is not easy, nor is it supposed to be easy. But it is wonderful.