The latest twist in my curious life with an artist began yesterday when Maria, in a state of high excitement, came up to me and announced that someone on Facebook had sent her a link two two different chicken toys – a xylophone and a chicken swing – that she thought we might consider buying for our two hens.

This is not unusual in our household, lots of people send us ideas for making our animals happier, warmer, and yes, even more creative. We have a few chew toys for the dogs, but in general we don’t buy toys for chickens. Maria’s messenger was well meaning, but  I know Maria, and she would sooner cut off a finger than spent $15 on a chicken toy.

Maria scoffed at the idea of chicken swings, she said it was ridiculous. “What do chickens need with a swing?,” she scoffed. But knowing Maria well , I noted that she didn’t scoff at the idea of the xylophone.

Why not, I asked? Well, she said with crystal clear Maria logic, “a xylophone is a creative tool.”

She thought the chickens might like to be creative. And then, a gleam in her eye. Besides, she said, think of the photos and videos I could put up on my blog. Maria has become a successful and much loved videographer, especially on her blog and Instagram.

So goes life at Bedlam Farm.  I worked to get this straight.

It’s considered silly to buy a swing for a chicken, why would they care about one? But a creative tool is almost sacred around here, creative tools are not toys they are the tools by which we live our lives. And viral videos are even more precious.

The other thing about Maria is this. She is  exceptionally tight-fisted. She might like the idea of a xylophone for the hens, but if you know Maria, you know that she would NEVER buy a xylophone for a hen, no one who knows her well would even mention it. It’s been years since I’ve seen Maria buy anything new for herself, and frankly, I can’t remember anything new she ever bought.

Maria loves to buy people lunch or dinner, and she is extremely generous with me if she thinks I want or need something. But she absolutely never buys anything for herself, let alone a hen. I buy the mealworms, the donkey treats, the dog toys, she scours the woods for donkey logs to chew.

We have this understanding between us, she will talk about something, but if it comes time to buy something, she is nowhere to be found.

We also share this reverence for creative tools. For people, for donkeys, for dogs, for chickens.

I, on the other hand, am the King of Amazon and the Web, I wield it like a sword, I absolutely love the idea of buying creative tools for the donkeys or hens.

I went right on Amazon and found this Loofhah Grass hanging toy, the chickens peck at it and bells will ring. I thought this was a must for our hens. The grass is safe and healthy, and the chickens, we are assured, will find stimulation and activity, avoid boredom or sloth. And perhaps the sound will be nice.

And I will be honest. This is a video Maria will absolutely, many points for me.

Perhaps she’ll put it inside the barn, where the chickens hang out all day. Or on the side of the coop. I haven’t told Maria about the Loofhah grass and ringing bells – a steal at $15.99. She will be pleased, and I can’ wait for the video.

The bells are coming on Wednesday.