There is this idea people have that the elderly or the impaired are different from us. But what I’ve learned in my time at the Mansion is that this is not so. They are very much like us.
They have the same needs, the same feelings and fears.
Wayne is a loner, he is usually by himself, he says little and spends much of his time by himself reading or watching TV. I know nothing about him and have never met or seen a member of his family.
When I met Wayne, he was in desperate need of clothes – socks, shirts, shoes and sweaters. The doctor who treated him in a nursing home in Saratoga Springs comes to visit him, he sometimes took Wayne out to the movies. He pleaded with me to keep an eye on him at the Mansion, and I have.
Ruth lost her husband Kenny a few months ago, they spent their days sitting in the Great Room, watching the people who come and go. Ruth also had no money for clothes, and she I often shop online together. She needs a warm flannel bathrobe for the winter.
Last week, Ruth crooked her finger at me, and was grinning. She whispered the obvious into my ear.https://www.bedlamfarm.com/support-my-work/
She and Wayne are dating, she said. They spend their days holding hands near the Great Room (Wayne is confined to a wheelchair, he can’t get down the stairs without considerable help.)
Wayne is happier and more at ease than I remember seeing him, Ruth is clearly happy to have someone to sit with and talk to. The Mansion can be a lonely place, companionship is precious.
It’s difficult for people in assisted care, they have lost most of the lives they had for so many years. However every many people are around them, however loving and diligent the staff is, there is a loneliness that comes from being removed from normal life, home, pets, friends and family.
But that doesn’t mean the people there can’t find love and companionship.
Today, Ruth and Wayne came to my Christmas reading, and were holding hands while I read my stories.
They listened very carefully.
It is very much in the spirit of Christmas to see such love and happiness, however long it lasts, wherever it might go. Good for them, I thought, good for them.
(You can support the Mansion work by sending a contribution to Jon Katz, Mansion Fund, P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816, or via Paypal, [email protected].
It is a gift to see this broad smile on Wayne’s face, and the sense of peace that surrounds him.
You can also support this work by clicking on the button below that says “Support The Army Of Good.” One-time donations in any amount are welcome. While you’re at it, please consider supporting my work as well, this is all the money the blog gets for its maintenance and operation.
Thanks.