I’ve known Maria for a decade now, and I have never seen her so comfortable as she was last night at the Hafla, a celebration and holiday gathering of her belly dancing group.

Last night, she danced for the first time in a public setting, spouses and family members were invited, not the public. I had never Maria dance before, and I was overwhelmed, not only by her dancing – I have seen how hard she has worked at this for the past 18 months – but at how the belly dancing has revealed so much about her.

This is who she is, I thought, this is where she belongs,  these are the people who are her true friends, who care about her, who respect and encourage her, and give her nourishment and strength.

And who she trusts completely.

Belly Dancing attracts a certain kind of person, a certain kind of women. They are real, proud and intensely loyal to one another, the nature of the dances depends on trust and community, even empathy. You have to have a lot of passion, attitude and love to do it.

I have never seen Maria so comfortable away from the farm, so at  home, so much herself.

The belly dancing is so much more than a hobby or a class,  it is an attitude, a statement, a sense of joy and accomplishment and pride.

Sometimes, when I mention Belly Dancing to other man, they smirk and wink. They get it wrong. These women don’t do it for us, they do it for them. They are saying, look at us, this is who we are, and we are proud of who we are.

I told Maria I cannot remember ever seeing her so at ease and comfortable as she is with the woman who teach and attend the class.

Somehow, it was just what she needed, just what she wants. This is her tribe.

The group and the people in it are so important to her, and I could see that she is equally important to them.

In fact, last night she was promoted to a higher level of the class. It takes years of hard work and dedication to make it to the highest levels of dancing.

I was thrilled to be there, and happy for her and proud of her. This is not something I would ever have imagined her doing  few years, and now I see it was what she needed in so many different ways.

She was exhausted when we got home, she had to go right to bed, she was just drained. This was all such a big step for her.

I doubt that most of the people in Maria’s life have a clue about how important this night was for her. Come and see.

Congratulations, wonderful woman, you are finding your place on this earth. And you worked so hard to get there.