An update on Red;

(I guess it is no small coincidence that Red’s struggles come on Giving Tuesday, a day when we can help other people as well as buy stuff cheaply. Red is all about giving, if you wish to honor him and his spirit, and send him some great energy, please consider supporting the RISSE Amazon Wish List, which supports new  refugees and immigrants to America, or the Mansion/Refugee Fund (Jon Katz. P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816, or via Paypal, [email protected] or through the one-time any amount donate button here.  You might also wish to contribute instead to a good cause of your own choosing, this is a good day for it. And thanks for the many donations to RISSE yesterday, we are  denting their new and long list, I might be losing my mind, but I believe this energy is getting here, and helping.)

We are into the whirlwind now, taking it one day at a time. Red had an awful relapse Tuesday evening, right after we got home from the vet, he is better this morning, but far from well, I am sorry to say.

Our vet, Dr. Fariello, says we just don’t know what it going to happen, we are giving him anti-inflammatory medication, and treating his condition as a fracture of the spine, related to arthritis and earlier injuries.

So we’re into the whirlwind, the twilight zone between health and sickness, clarity and uncertainty, pain and comfort. I’ve been there before, you have been there before, this will take a while.

I did get Red outside for a brief walk in the yard – he didn’t even look at the sheep, which alarmed me – and he ate very little food. On the positive side, he was moving more easily, and he could walk on his own power. Compared to last night, that was good to see.

Last night, I was close to concluding he ought to be put down.  His legs were once again paralyzed This morning, it is better. But not nearly good enough.

He was able to move his legs and walk, but very slowly, and obviously with discomfort.

I don’t want to be myopic, this is not a way that I would wish Red to live for very long, he is moving stiffly, and lying completely still for hours.

I think we will just need to take it one day at a time, as Dr. Fariello suggests. If he is like this in a few days, we will  have to meet and reassess.

We took a short, but good walk around the yard in the snow.

Red is a strong dog, and a stoic dog, it is very difficult to know when he is hurting, he just seems to move through it. And there is the very real possibility that the problem is neurological, and if so, that is not treatable.

It looks like a neurological disorder to me, even a stroke,  but I am not vet or guru. I trust Dr. Fariello and follow her guidance. I have no need of trawling the Internet in search of miracle cures.

So we are trying to treat  what can be treated, and see if that works.

As I have written, I will not permit Red to suffer greatly for any long period of time. Dr.Fariello’s responsibility is to treat Red if she can, mine is to be his advocate and monitor his suffering. I will be faithful to that duty, as Red has always been so faithful to me.

I thank you for the hundreds of messages of love and support, and I thank you for honoring Red by supporting his great work, especially the refugees and the Mansion residents. That is the best way I can think of to support Red, and do good in his name. Curious that this is the giving holiday.

I will offer updates now twice a day, once in the morning, once in the evening.

I understand that I will continue to get many messages which begin with the words “I know you hate unsolicited advice, but here is some.” I’ve finally learned how to handle these. I just say “thank you.” CBD oil is fine, but it’s not going to cut it for paralysis or a fractured spine.

Neither is a handicapped wagon for Red walk with on paralyzed legs for the rest of his life. That is not for him, not for me. I don’t judge anyone else for doing it.

I don’t understand why people think their dogs medical problems or the remedies they have attempted are useful in any way to me or to Red right now, I think dog love is a kind of addiction, for me and for so many others.  I would be almost criminally irresponsible to make life-and-death decisions for Red based on the experiences of people I have never met.

I understand that people  can’t help offering their own stories and experiences about their animals. I see it is human nature, not malevolence. If I can accept life and death, then I can and will accept the nature of people, I don’t have to use it or even read it.

I want to say to you good people that we are all responsible for ourselves and our dogs. This is always a chance to learn about boundaries, at least for me. It is Dr. Fariello’s job to try to save Red, my job to work with her.

It is not anyone else’s job to save Red, or to heal him,  it is not healthy to take that on, and I don’t wish for anyone to take that on.

A number of gifted and well-meaning healers are urgently offering themselves to work with Red, I am sure they are valuable and worthy. But this is my job, that’s how I see it. I don’t wish to turn it over to anyone else.

Perhaps I’m just odd that way, but that is what I feel. People have to make their own choices about whether to respect that or not. I can handle it, either way.

Your good wishes and support are plenty good enough, they really matter. I love Red, but I don’t wish to love him too much, not beyond the appropriate parameters of the dog-human relationship. That means perspective about money, pain and suffering.

Thank you is a magical phrase, it softens the soul and lifts the spirit. I like it.

Red is sleeping beside my chair in my study now, where he likes to be. I will, per instructions, make him uncomfortable, and let  him rest.

So if you can afford to or wish to, take a look at the RISSE Amazon Wish List, or my Mansion Fund. You can also check out the WBTN Wish List and support community radio.

They seem to need a new drum unit for the radio station printer.

And most importantly, you can send good thoughts and wishes to Red, I have this feeling he is receiving them. I think they make him stronger.

He is an empathic creature, if any living thing receives energy, it is Red.

More later tonight.