I had to get out of town today. November is the hardest month for me, full of cold, wet and darkening days. It takes me a month or so to get over the shock of losing all that color and light.

Perhaps I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, or  maybe I just don’t care for November.

I am fond of the deep winter, it is beautiful and uplifting in many ways, November is different, all gray and dank. Everything seems closer, smaller, darker.

And then there are the holidays looming….I’m in the outlier camp on holidays, they make me  sad and uneasy.

I told Maria yesterday that I just needed to take a drive and we ended up going to Brattleboro. Our friend Nicole came over to let the dogs out and check the farm.

We didn’t go far or do much. The drive took 90 minutes, we stopped for coffee and muffins along the way, I had a Shrimp Burrito at a new Mexican-American restaurant on Main Street, I stopped in the Mystery Bookshop, one of the few mystery bookstores remaining in America, and bought a new mystery from Jonathan Lethen (the Feral Detective), he is the author of Motherless Brooklyn, a book I much loved.

I also stopped in the Herbatorium and got some bottles of CBD oil and some Herb Honey for Maria. I’m impressed with CBD, it has helped me to sleep more comfortably, and I like the way it softens my edges just the smallest bit.

I take it twice a day, I am impressed.

Brattleboro is a place where street people roam freely and with great character. This young singer was drawn to Neil Young, I suspected, I gave him two dollars and asked if I could take his photo.

He nodded, his guitar case was filled with dollar bills. I didn’t ask  his name, I think to him I was just some old guy with a big camera. He wasn’t interested in talking with me, and to be  truthful, I just wanted to take  his photo.

I love the street people of Brattleboro, they are distinctive.

He was appropriately moody and perhaps in a state bliss. But I loved the way he curled up into himself and sang and sang, ignoring the cold the young.

I don’t miss being young, but I miss being around the young. I love the freedom I see in some. I hope he stays pure and doesn’t get a day job.

It was great stepping out of our lives for a day, thanks to Nicole for watching the beasts, I came home refreshed and focused, and I made a  chopped clam,  pesto, Mozzarella, tomato and basil pizza.

It came out well. I melt some butter in a pan, and put in fresh ground garlic, then pour the butter/garlic into a bowl of chopped clams. I let the clams sit for awhile in that light sauce, and then spread them out on the pizza. First, I bake the crust for 9 minutes at 475 to ensure crispness and then take out the crust and put the pesto and clams and tomato and basil and cheese on it and back in the oven for 11 minutes.

We sat in front of the wood stove crunching on the pizza, talking and  experiencing the quiet joy of being together. That never seems to fade.