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I have a good friend who has a nice dog, a recent rescue, who is affectionate and well behaved in her suburban home. The dog has one serious problem. Outside, on a leash he pulls forcefully and repeatedly.

Sometimes, he pulls so hard my friend isn’t sure she can control him.

The dog is very young, a puppy really, but already nearly 40 pounds and still growing. In 60 months, this dog could easily  be 60 or 7 pounds.

Given that weight, he could one day easily pull my friend over or knock her off balance – the dog lurches and pulls constantly whenever he sees a dog or goes out on a walk.

He also jumps up on people he meets, including children.

The dog also plays rough with the woman’s two young daughters, getting aroused enough to play so roughly she has to be called off. She’s never bitten anybody, but she nips in what the woman suggests is a “playful” way that frightens her children.

My friend called me for advice. She was desperate.

I suggested a number of things, from a gentle leader , to a choke training chain to a spray collar that would spray the dog if he pulled hard on the leash, to walking with a stick that could be tapped suddenly on the ground in front of the dog when he pulls.

She rejected all of these ideas as cruel, she said the dog was a rescue dog who was almost surely abused and she could not bear to use any aggressive techniques to train him.

She thought these ideas were cruel.

I do not, of course, care to be  cruel to my dogs, and I realized right away that I could never help this woman. I urged her to find a trainer. I do, of course, accept her own judgement about what she is or isn’t comfortable with.

But she did ask, and so I felt compelled to try to help her.

The issue raises yet again in my own mind the question of what is cruel to a dog. I told my friend that I had a different view of cruelty.

I thought it cruel for a dog to pull a 130-lb human around on a leash constantly when they walked.

I think its cruel to frighten a child. I think it’s cruel to a dog to have an unhappy owner in conflict and frustration with the dog every time they go outside.

To me, it’s cruel to have an untrained dog that has to be returned to a shelter or rescue group, that is one of the leading causes of death for dogs in America.

I think it’s cruel for a dog to be permitted to be so out of control that the owner or someone else will almost surely be hurt. It’s cruel to an elderly relative or passerby who gets jumped on knocked down, possibly breaking a wrist or a hip. I’ve met many elderly residents in elder care who have been injured in that way.

And of course the odds are high that a dog that is so aroused and permitted to act out in those ways is statistically likely to get aggressive in one way or another. The dog simply has a lot of prey drive, clearly, and if it isn’t contained, it will continue to grow and reveal itself in unexpected ways.

Most of all it’s cruel to the dog to be put in danger and conflict. This dog should be protected from the consequences of hurting other living things.

My idea of cruelty dogs is different from my friend or many other people.

I believe in Stewardship Theory, as it applies to dogs and other animals in my care. Stewardship theory argues that given a choice between self-serving behavior and the good of the animals the stewards are responsible for, they will place a higher value on the needs and welfare of the animal than their own needs.

Thus a sick dog in grain pain will be euthanized rather than kept alive because the human can’t bear to let go.  Dogs do not exist solely to make human beings feel good.

And  a dog who can’t walk on a leash with pulling its owner and possibly endangering others must be corrected, even if it makes the owner uncomfortable.

A steward’s job is to give the dog a good and loving life, to train it positively whenever possible, but to make certain the dog can live safely and lovingly in an often hostile world. Dogs that hurt people are killed, and their humans very often sued or penalized.

If a choke chain would correct this dog’s behavior in a few days, and make everyone around the dog, as well the dog himself, safer, then it is not cruel.

If an electric fence would keep a dog from running into the street and being killed, then that is not cruel, but the essence of being humane.

If an  unadoptable dog is left in a crate in a shelter for the rest of its life because killing it would make human beings uncomfortable, then the idea that this is a humane fate for the dog should be reconsidered. It is inhumane for a dog to spend its life in a crate.

I had dog once who lunged on a leash, pulling me and others into the street or other people and dogs at times, especially   when he saw a dog or a squirrel,  once knocking over a small child and injuring him slightly.

We were both lucky the police weren’t called.

The next time we walked, as the dog lunged forward towards the other side of the street, I reached with my foot and kicked him in the chest, yelling “back.” The dog was startled, but I got his attention, never lunged again and respected the command “back.”

I do not kick my dogs, nor do I recommend it, but it helped the dog and I love a safe and peaceful love together rather than brawl daily to try to contain an unacceptable behavior.

Was it cruel? I suppose so. But to me, not as cruel as being in conflict with this dog for a decade or more of my life and his and risking one or both of our lives. Things that are considered cruel to people are not always cruel to dogs. Dogs need to know what is expected of them, that is for their sake as well as ours.

As my videos can attest, I train dogs positively in the basic elements of obedience, but chronic behavioral problems pop up all the time. It’s my job as a steward to make it clear to the dog what is being asked of him.

We need to show them how to live safely in our world, that is what training is about. And we must never do it in a chronic or brutal way.

I hope to talk about stewardship on my “Talking To Animals” broadcast Wednesday between  one and three p.m. on WBTNAM Radio, 1370. You can e-mail me questions for the broadcast anytime, day or night at [email protected].

“Talking To Animals”  can be live streamed here to anywhere in the country or most of the world. You can call the station at 866 406 9286 from one to 3 p.m., listen to it on any free radio app on the Apple App Store. You can also e-mail me at [email protected] during the broadcast, I can receive your messages there and will read your questions.

If all else fails,  you can listen to a podcast of the show on WBTNAM.US.

You can also support community radio by checking out the new WBTN Amazon Wish List, there are five new and very inexpensive items ranging from $6 to $16.

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