I went to have my third laser eye surgery this morning and the tech offered me a consent form, stating that I knew I was having eye surgery and agreed to it.

I happily signed it but I was curious to know why it was necessary.

Didn’t everyone who shows up for surgery know they were having surgery? The tech explained to me that people are often very difficult about things like that, they complain about the cost, the time it takes, the discomfort, they are suspicious of the doctors and the need.

And some are afraid or suspicious, they change their minds.

Does that  happen often, I asked? Every day, she said, smiling a bit wanly. We get used to it, she said. I know we live in suspicious and difficult times. But sometimes I forget just how wary so many of us are becoming.

Six months ago, I was not able to read the type in my books, I was not seeing the tops of letters. For a writer, a photographer and a book lover, this was frightening.

I ended up seeing Dr. Naomi Falk, an affable, patient retinal specialist who told me there was a swelling of my blood vessels near the retina.  She said I would need surgery, possibly regular injections in the eye itself. She also gave me special drops for my eyes.

And she told me that just a few years ago, I would have become blind. They had no way of treating that.

The cause was not certain. She said the challenge was to reduce the swelling around the vessels and keep them away from the retina.

I’ve seen Dr. Falk four or five times since then, I trust her completely, ever since she didn’t blink when I said I wanted to photograph my eye and put it up on my blog, which I did. I explained that I shared my life on my blog, my eyes are a big part of my life.

Today, she performed another and more intense round of laser surgery on my left eye, it is still mostly shut as I write this, but my right eye is good. The news was good. My eyesight is excellent she said, markedly better than when I first saw her. The swelling was close to the retina, but not over it.

Our task was to keep it that way, she said.

She was very pleased with my progress, she said, the problem was not curable, and would need constant monitoring and treatment, but “we are holding the line,” she said, adding that my eye was responding well to treatment.

She didn’t need to see me for four months. I told  her she ought to star in a Netflix drama, “The Eye Savers.” She smiled, but filled our her forms.

Laser surgery is not painful, but it is still surgery, and I do feel it. I came home and lay down for an hour, I feel that that  eye needs some rest, but I’m not sure how to rest an eye. Last time,I got a patch. I loved the patch.

Maria drove me, I was  grateful for that, I could not see nearly well enough to drive home after all that numbing and dilating. She even fussed over me for five minutes before tending to her booming yarn sales.

What  I thought about as I drove home (or was driven home) was gratitude, and how it seems to be vanishing in our world at times. People seem to get angry and more suspicious.

When I was diagnosed with diabetes 2, I learned that it could kill me if I didn’t take care of it with medicine and changes in my diet. When I had open heart surgery, a surgeon told me I was fortunate to have survived a heart attack I didn’t even know I was having, but could live a long and full life if I took care of myself, went to cardiac rehab, and ate in a healthy way.

I was lucky to be alive, he said.

This year, I learn I could have gone blind if not for miraculous changes in modern medical technology.

We squawk about health care and cost and bureaucracy all the time, yet doctors have saved my life three different times now, and since I love my life and have a lot to live for, I wanted to remember one of my cherished values, and not speak poorly of my life.

I so rarely hear anyone expressing gratitude for anything.

First, I am grateful for being able to afford the insurance I need for the medications and treatments that have saved my life. I wish every person in our country could have the same, I do not think I would be alive without that.

It does seem to me to be a right, not a privilege for the rich.

And then, I am grateful for the doctors who have kept me healthy and very much alive.

Sometimes, I think we are better off than we think we are. I thanks Dr. Falk for saving my eyes, and I told her I appreciate what she had done for me.  can only imagine her issues with the government and the insurance companies.

She seemed startled. “Oh, thank you” she said, “come back in four months and we’ll see how you are doing.”

I realize that everyone – doctors, bureaucrats, people on the other end of tech support – need to hear thanks and gratitude when they do something for us. They are not symbols of things, they are people, just like me.