So this the ninth video in my series about training Bud to stay.

As I’ve written before, training, to me, is not about obedience, it’s about communication, the spirituality of breaking through to one’s dog and teaching him or her how to live safely and peacefully in our world.

I believe strongly that the best training is intuitive, it doesn’t come from books or videos, our culture has made dog lovers dependent on gurus and experts. Most often, we can’t do what they do, and there is no reason to.

For me, training is not a precision, military procedure. It isn’t about hand signals and high voices. I’m not all that interested in what other people have done, it has little relevance to me. In the animal world, experts abound. I want to be my own expert.

Training about listening to my dog and talking to him. Bud and I are breaking through. Whatever anyone tells you, you are smarter than your dog. Do your job.

This morning I did a clear visualization of what I wanted this session to be: short, positive clear. I pictured Bud sitting and staying for a good long while  as I got farther than ever before.

I used only one or two words, it was mostly a silent session. Without all of me superfluous words, he grasped exactly what he needed to grasp, and the exercise became a spiritual one, we were talking to one another.

I’m not taking any victory laps, this is a complex dog with powerful back story I’m just understanding. We have a lot of work to do. I’m just beginning to figure out how to train this dog.

Some lessons from the week:

Be my own guru.

Other people,  other books, other videos are not me, my dog, my home, my life. What they did isn’t necessarily what I can do or should do.  Dog training isn’t physics, I can do it,  you can do it.

People make a lot of money making it seem hard. It really isn’t.

I don’t need books or videos to tell me what I can learn. They just fill my head with bullshit.

Few words. I talk too much in training, mostly because I get anxious and frustrated. Few words are essential, the fewer words the better, the fewer things the dog needs to learn.

Contrary to public opinion, dogs are not like us, they don’t have our vocabulary and language. Mostly, what they hear from us is blah-blah-blah to them. I am learning to make every word count.

Looking at myself. I asked Maria to video each of our training sessions so I could study what improvements I needed to make. I didn’t like much of what I saw.

Know when to quit. Dogs, like people, have moods. Sometimes, But just isn’t into it, and I stop. Sometimes he is, and we work together. I never push it or should or make it unpleasant for him.

Trust my dog. We have to give them the chance to succeed, not fail. I don’t ever ask them to do things I am not sure they can do. Failure is okay, it’s the gateway to success.

Adapt. If it isn’t working try something else.

I needed to make a lot of changes, and I did. I am willing to make my mistakes out in full view, I don’t need to pretend to be perfect. We all make mistakes and can learn from them, especially with live animals.

I want to be responsible for my own victories and mistakes, not the victories of other people.

Mistakes in the open are burned into my consciousness, I can see clearly what I was doing wrong, and work on it. Most often, we are the problem, not the dog. Bud was trying hard, he deserves clear and simple commands and goals.

I don’t train while I am anxious or angry, the dog picks it up in a flash.  The training session is a mess.

Today, I stopped and cleared my head, took deep breaths, felt strong and good. Bud picked it up instantly, we got into a good groove with one another.

Keep it simple. People were sending me messages about how to stand, where to stand, how to send signals, now many to send, how far to go, how close to be. I don’t clutter my head up with too much, I keep focused on the simplicity of it. Without drama or anger, try again,  and again and again. One word, one command, patience and repetition. If I quit on Bud, he will quit on me.

If he knows I mean it, he will succumb. That’s what dogs have been doing for eons.

And most of all, take responsibility. When there’s a problem, I ask, what did I do wrong, never what did he or she do wrong. I never think I’m perfect, I never think I know it all. I am not nearly done with this training, I’m just getting started.

The truth is, we train dogs to do what we want, not what they want. We train them to be like us, not to live their natural lives. It never ends. Training properly is the greatest manifestation of our stewardship of dogs.

It is the ultimate expression of genuine love.

We’re in a good place now. Come and see. Stay tuned.