There is a fine line between life and death at the Mansion, death is a regular occurrence there, but still, the residents often  feel a particular loss deeply.

Kenneth, Ruth’s husband of 27 years, died last week.

Every death is different. Some of the residents are rarely seen and barely known, others – Ken and Ruth – were very much seen, they were almost always sitting together on a couch in the Great Room.

The Memorial Service was held this morning, and I wanted to go. I love talking to Ruth and Ken, and photographing them, they were a sweet and devoted couple, always together.

Ruth got up at the end of the service to thank everyone. “You are my family now,” she said, and then she asked the Mansion Director Morgan Jones to come up for a hug.

I was touched when she also asked for a hug from me. “I want to thank you, Jon, when Ken and I got here, we had no money and you got us things we needed so we could be warm and look right. Thank you,  we both loved you.”

When I first met Ruth and Ken, I saw – and was told – that they came only with the clothes they were wearing. Thanks to some good local Thrift Stores and Amazon, that was not the case for long.

These thanks belong to all of you, the Army Of Good – you have helped this couple with warm clothes for the winter, cool clothes for the summer, underwear, socks, sweatshirts, jackets and hats, large print books, a small TV for their room, and books and stuffed animals for Ruth. Thanks to you.

I’m looking for some YA- level large print books for Ruth. (and for Jackie).

There was a lot of sadness in the Great Room today, in a work where there are few couples, everyone loved to see this very devoted couple together, usually sitting on a couch in the Great Room.

There was a heaviness hanging over the residents after this service, lots of tears, the aides were walking around the room passing out tissues. I think I’ll go back with Gus and Red this afternoon. They could use some cheering up. I’ve rarely seen so many tears at a Memorial Service there.

One reason, I think, is that there are no other couples at the Mansion, couples are rare. They remind the residents of many things, including loss and grief.

Ruth and Ken were profoundly sweet, today, Ruth apologized to me for making me sad.

Ruth asked me to print out a photo so she could remember the service, and I’ll see that this gets done. I felt so close to the residents this morning, Red and I just hugged our way out of the room.

The Mansion teaches me once more that death is a part of life, sad beautiful and today, life-affirming. Ruth has a new family, and I promised her we would help her if we can.

You can write to write c/o Ruth, The Mansion, 11 S. Union Avenue, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816. Your messages matter.