Joan is one of the most cheerful and sunny people I meet at the Mansion, but sometimes I find her crying. Tonight, Susan Popper, a Mansion volunteer and a friend who helps us run the Friday night Bingo Games, came in early and found Joan sitting crying on a bench.

Joan’s memories sometimes bubble up, and like all of the residents, she is sometimes achingly aware of who she has lost – a daughter, a husband, a mother and father – and most of the memories of her life.

This is frustrating beyond imagination, she tries so hard to put the pieces together, and remembers some things so clearly, like the death of her husband, he collapsed right in front of her.

When this happens, we hug her, walk with  her, hold her, tell her stories, ask her about her memories. She comes out of it quickly, but I know that the residents are rich in memories, and even richer in loss and things left behind.

Sometimes, it is necessary to mourn. When this happens, I not try to cheer them  up, I just try to listen. I can’t replace their losses or heal their wounds, I can only listen and be grateful for being trusted.

Susan and Joan have  become friends. Joan knows the people who care about her, even if she will never know their names. It was a gift to see the two of them laughing and smiling and yakking on the bench as we came into the Mansion.

This means so much to Joan, and to the other  residents. Even those with memories feel forgotten.

You can write to the Mansion residents at this address: 11 S. Union Avenue, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816. I should explain that many of the residents cannot replay to your letters for various reasons, and if the get sick or even die, I am not permitted to tell you about it, due to privacy laws, unless they give me explicit permission.

Here is a list of Mansion residents who have asked to receive their letters. Letters are a joy to them, a reminder that they have not been forgotten by the other world. The list changes week to week for many reasons. I wouldn’t read much into that.

And thanks for writing them, it means more than you might imagine.

Winnie, Ellen, Matt, Mar, Sylvie, Diane, Alice, Jean, Madeline, Joan, Allan, Bill, Blanche, Helen, Peggie, Dottie, Tim, Jackie, Guerda, Brenda, Ruth. Kenneth is no longer on the list.